Are You Getting Some?

Well looks like my dream was slightly prophetic, I did have a big loss last night. Two kilos! Woohoo! That’s 4.4 pounds to you non-metric ones. I just felt really really good all week, and really motivated. When you’re in that frame of mind, you just have to go for it and eat right and exercise your arse off, and really take advantage of the positivity, because next week you may not feel so good.

A pretty pessimistic statement, I know. But really, life has ups and downs, you can’t feel euphoric all the time. That’s not to say I ever “blow my diet” when things go bad, in seven months I can honestly say I’ve never felt like I’ve “blown” anything (!!!) or “fallen off the wagon”, it’s just that some weeks you’re really busy or things happen and you can’t be has “hard core” as other weeks.

It’s hard to wrap your head around that. But you will have far more success losing weight if you stop being so fascist and fantatical about the concept of a diet, and simply tell yourself “sometimes I’ll have fantastic weeks and sometimes I’ll have so-so weeks”, rather than “OH MY BLOODY GOD I’VE BROKEN MY DIET AND IT’S ALL OVER AND I AM GOING TO EAT A BARREL OF LARD NOW!”.

Anyway. Do you know I only have 1.9 kilos (4.2lb) til I reach the amazing magical 40 kilos gone? Holy crap. I am hoping to get there by mid-September. That is my little goal. I am particularly chuffed because it means the weigh-lady will have to move the BIG THINGY on the scale down another notch. So I will have gone from the ELEPHANT FAT setting when I started, to the SUPAFAT setting, down to STILL PRETTY FAT, REALLY. It’ll be a nice progression.

Plus, when I get to the 40 kilos, Mum is taking us out to this swanky restarant that we all love. No! I hear you gasp. You can’t reward dieting success with food! Oh shut up. The hell I can’t. It’s an expensive resteraunt, and life is short, the food is good, and it tastes even better when you have something to celebrate.

So there.

My boss said to me recently, “What’s up with you?”

“Huh?”

“What are you looking so happy for?”

“I don’t look happy. Do I?”

“Shit yeah. You’ve got this big stupid grin on your face and you’re just skipping around all the time or something.”

“Oh! I hadn’t noticed.”

“You’ve got a BOY haven’t you? You’ve got that I’VE GOT A BOY glow about you! You’re GETTING SOME, aren’t you?”

“No! I have not got a boy! And I am not getting some!”

“You have to be! Why else would you be so happy! Look! Your cheeks are all flushed and everything! You’ve got a boyyyyyyyyyyfriend! You’ve got a boyyyyyfriend!”

For the record I do not have a boyfriend and I am not Getting Some™, not unless you count a little object that goes bzzzzz bzzzzz. It’s sad that she thinks the only way I could possibly look so happy is because of someone else! If I am looking happy and glowing, it’s all my own doing. All this exercise and healthy eating has elevated my moods, for sure. But if people want to think I have some sort of hot crazy sex life, well perhaps I will just let them think that. Mwahaha.

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