Attack of the Blahs

I don’t know what else to say except that this is all really hard. I need to cut back to one job, I have been working these 6/7 day weeks for too long. Nine months, in fact. I have two days off this whole month. That is just stupid. We needed to do this for our Russia/Scandi trip — our Monday – Friday temp jobs don’t pay enough to fund such a big trip. We tried to find better paid jobs that used our qualifications, but it’s hard to when employers know you’re here for a limited time. Two jobs was the only option.

But when we get back, something has to give. My sister and I are always tired, cranky, listless. It has been a struggle to keep our health/fitness regime going. Most days we just want to sleep. We have a week or so of great food and exercise, full of inspiration, but then we’ll work 14 days in a row and lose our momentum.

I know people have multiple jobs and kids and all sorts of problems, so I am not pulling a "poor me" here. I am just saying I am tired. I am tired of being upbeat and optimistic one moment then paralysed with fatigue and gloom the next.

Anyway. Until I think of a better way to work I am just going to try and slowly chip away at this blubber. I am trying to get some walking in as well as the gym. It didn’t get dark until after 10 last night. I love the Northern Hemisphere summers.

I bought a skirt from H&M on Friday. Only £10! That’s cheap even translated back into Australian dollars. You may recall my tears in H&M a year ago, when I could only fit into their size 24 jeans. This skirt is an 18, so that was a pleasant surprise.

I feel so flat and blah, I can’t pretend to be excited by this stuff at the moment. I know I could have bought that skirt six months ago and it would have fit. I really haven’t lost a damn thing this year. I keep writing these kind of entries, have you noticed? It’s this endless cycle of motivation then moping.

But don’t think I am giving up. I just need to figure out how to change my situation.

Recipe Corner

Better put in something non-whiny so you don’t all think I am pathetic and never come back. Made a nice quick dinner for my dear boy last night. I’m always struggling to come up with vegetarian fayre with my limited imagination, but then I remembered something one of my beloved Aussie friends used to make.

Salsa Thingy

3 tomatoes, chopped
1 avocado, chopped
1 small red onion or 3 spring onions, chopped
1 can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 tablespoon cumin powder (more if you like it spicy)
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
handful chopped fresh coriander
juice of a lime or lemon, or a generous lug of the bottled stuff
ground black pepper to taste

Mix all that up in a bowl, cover and let the flavours mingle for a hour or so. Then serve in some tortillas with lettuce, grated cheese or whatever you feel like. Or serve as a side with a grilled chicken breast and some salad greens if your boyfriend is a carnivore. Or just eat on its own. Very summery and light and quick! Hurrah.

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6 thoughts on “Attack of the Blahs

  1. Allo you! I know what you mean SO much! I have been working 14 hrs a day the last month, my partner is pregnant and comes to work for 0 to 3 hrs, we share one assistant, and cant currently afford a second. Summer means events and I end up working weekends as well. So…do the horrible thing. Call in sick one day! About 10 days ago I did it too. I called in sick with ..umm…diarrhea! Noone can check if that’s true, right? You can show up the next day and say…ah…it was prolly an one day bug! Say you were up all day till 6 am in the toilette and ask them to not call for the next few hrs cos you’re too weak and need your rest. Stay home and sleep. And do your nails. And when its the time you get off work, so no more calls from them, get your wonderful boy and do summat fun. I tell you my friend. D I A R R H E A!!! (spelled correctly I assume!!!)

  2. Dear Miss S, I really don’t know what to say to you to help you get back into the zone because no matter how many wonderful, motivational sayings are thrown your way, nothing will work unless your brain is switched into gear.

    Just remember, there are many people at goal who are still struggling with the same issues as you are now, so really all you can do is concentrate on living as healthy a life as possible by making as many healthy choices as you possibly can. If you make it more of a healthy life-style change then things will work out for you. What is it you are doing at the moment that is stopping you from losing weight and what can you do to correct it?

    I am presently doing some visualisations … everytime a situation arises where I could slip up, I visualise two doors. The first door leads me to a healthy, thinner life, the second door leads me round in circles. Then before I eat anything I ask myself which door I want to step through. It is working for me and I’m slowly losing weight again, which is nice.

    We each must find something that works and keeps us plodding along. How about trying to remember how great it felt to lose weight and to see your body changing for the better. It is a very exciting road to travel, but sometimes we get way-laid going round and round in circles.

    You can do it mate. NJ

  3. oh my gosh! this sounded so much like my life at the moment except that i don;t have the 50 kilos you lost beforehand to brag about! I am a shocker! Anyhow – just wanted to say that I read veery single one of your entries and love them! SAy hi to the BF!

  4. I think you’re right about needing to toss one of the jobs – working 14 days in a row isn’t good for anyone. It’s no wonder you’re not feeling enthused about losing weight – you don’t need a third job on top of everything else.
    But on the bright side, despite all the hours and crap, you haven’t put on weight. You’re a smart cookie – even if you feel blah, you know that maintaining (even if I hate that buzz word with a passion) is a great thing to achieve.

  5. Hi DG – Stop beating yourself up about not losing in the last six months! Just think of the alternative – you could have gained loads of weight. There is absolutely no shame is maintaining – in fact it is a mission in itself. I think you have done incredibly well and when the time is right you will do more. I love all the comments before mine – especially the two door visualisation. Might try that one myself!

  6. Well, if it makes you feel any better, the time you’re using to work is time that you’re NOT munching on junk and getting off track . . . certainly you must be burning *some* calories by working that extra job. My dad lost quite a bit of weight a few years back just by virtue of having a second job . . . instead of sitting around watching tv in the evenings, he was up, walking around, talking to people, etc. at the job. GL!