Blow Your Cover

I received a few emails this week, mostly of the ‘Found ya!’ nature. After three and half years, more and more people are stumbling across The Secret Life. How did you figure it out, dammit? I guess there’s not as many Australians living in Edinburgh who just went to Russia as I thought.

Those who’ve found me have been nice about it. Still, I feel awkward. It’s a hefty chunk of your life to hide away.

I worry if the folks who only knew me through my other site will think of me differently now that they know about The Fat. There’s a huge part of me that still feels like I am not worth being around, not pretty enough, not up to scratch, blah blah blah, until I get smaller.

Someone else emailled me to simply say that I saved their life. I won’t go into the details but I was gobsmacked and felt a little buzz that some waffle I put on this silly site could motivate someone.

Someone else (well, two someone elses) emailled to ask why I haven’t updated the photo page in ages. This would be because I’ve neglected to take any new photos. Below is one from December, approximately 93 kilos, drunk and grinning in the loos at my work Christmas party.

Dec2003

As you can see I’ve still got a lot of work to do. What to do about those thighs? And I continue to mask my eyes as I cling to the flimsy premise that Dietgirl is my super secret alter ego 🙂

Next entry I will get back to the Fat Bustin’, I promise.

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22 thoughts on “Blow Your Cover

  1. I can see why you need to have a ‘double life’. It’s really hard to be completely open and honest about this whole ‘Fat-Bustin’ thing, without a feeling of anonymity – that’s why nobody that I actually know (except a couple of fellow fat-busters) knows about my weight-loss blog!

    But as a fan of BOTH your blogs I certainly don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about in terms of being ‘discovered’. Your fans love you for who you are, and how you write, and your outlook upon life. They don’t care how much you weigh, they care about what you have to say. And they love you! Go you!

    BTW you look gorgeous in the latest photo 🙂

  2. I’m a fan of at least three of your blogs, and I’ve never thought of you any differently since I’ve found this one. You look fabulous!

    Krista
    Little Rock, AR

  3. WOW! This picture is the slimmest 93 kilos I have EVER seen in my life!!! You are beautiful! Really!!!
    And may I have the links to the other blog too please oh please?!

  4. You know, they always say that we are always hardest on ourselves. Girl..if I could I would smack you and somehow make you understand that you are beautiful. You look amazing and you should be extremely proud of what you have accomplished!! Enjoy the glory..don’t destroy it. You worked damn hard for it and you deserve it like no one else! Think about all the good you have done for others because of your story. I know you have inspired me!! Enjoy life as it is… you only have one!

  5. You look super! I mean really gorgeous. What does this mean, “As you can see I still have alot of work to do.” Validate yourself. I insist you agree- you look GREAT! Your a gorgeous woman now enjoy it before your 70 and say- Oh boy- I guess I was good looking. And More importantly your a great person- keep writing. 🙂
    Vicky

  6. P.S. Pleeeeeeeez – can’t you reveal your other Blog(s)? I wont say anything- I promise.
    lol

  7. You look fab in the photo. I can’t believe you still feel inadequate. You’re beautiful now. I haven’t found your other blogs and I feel increasingly frustrated because of this teasing by talking about them without saying what they are!

  8. i’m not teasing, honest. it’s just that people keep finding them and i have tried so hard to keep em separate! och well. anyway anyone who emails me for the URL has always got it 🙂

    as for the ‘still got work to do’, i am still a size 18, still unable to buy much in the way of foxy clothes, still have a three-teir-wedding-cake stomach. so i am not exaggerating 🙂

  9. Ah.. diet girl.. don’t worry about those thighs.. you look amazing. Its hard for me to even imagine how far you have come. Even if you never lose another ounce… you look fantastic. Just remember that the battle is two fold – to lose weight and then to keep it off. I think that you are doing that amazinly well so never forget how far you have come and how wonderful you look.

  10. Darling, you look absolutely lovely! (Whenever I said I’d lost weight, *my* dad would say “Look behind you, you’ll find it!” Argh!)

  11. I think you’re stunning! Enjoy it! And I haven’t found your other blogs either so your alter ego is safe with me!

  12. Luvie, get a hold of reality will you! YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!!!!! When are you going to see yourself as other see you hey?

    And BTW, I would love to read your other blog site…pls. pls, pls.

    Keep rocking,

    Kiri
    Canberra

  13. Unfuckingbelievable! You look amazing!! I’m at a loss for words. WOW. So incredibly inspiring.

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!
    Sonia
    Portland, Oregon, USA

  14. I neglected to mention before that I also made the connection between your two blogs a few months ago – for me, it was the posts about your mother’s visit that clinched it. I absolutely adore your writing on both blogs and your secret is safe with me. Btw – that picture is fantastic, weird angles and all. You look just beautiful!

  15. DG, you are absolutely stunning in that photo. I’m not surprised about the you-saved-my-life-e-mail since you have been (and continue to be) a great inspiration to me! Congrats on all your progress so far. Seriously, you look mighty fine. HOT!

  16. This probably goes without saying, but I just wanted to add that should any more people from your regular, non-secret blog find this one, they will feel, as it seems ALL of us do, nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. That said, I understand how you feel completely because I’ve had a hard time keeping my secret diet/fitness blog under wraps as well and I have having it discovered! 🙂

  17. Well, I haven’t “found” you yet. But it _is_ impossible to live a secret life in this town; too small, too interconnected. I do sometimes wonder if I’d recognise you if I saw you on the bus.

    I’ve been thinking of starting my own blog and have been pondering the vexed question of anonymity: I _think_ I’m going to keep it to initials, but not mask any photos as anyone who knows me will twig anyway. I can’t think of as good a name as “Dietgirl”! Anyway I’ve been posting comments under my own name for ages. And really, since I don’t think anything bad of you and Erin and Amy and Mo and all the other women who do this, what would I be hiding?

    You do look good in that last photo. I don’t care what you say, your thighs look better than mine.
    Anyway, in a spirit of solidarity (and telling whether that girl who keeps looking at you on the bus tomorrow is me) this is what I look like:

    link to members.lycos.co.uk

    That’s me at the top right, but “More People” has some less forgiving shots. That was also me banging on about Lenin last week, btw. I don’t know why my name didn’t post.

  18. Heavens, that’s a long post. Tell me to actually start my own blog and stop hijacking other people’s!

  19. lisa, tis true. the top i have on is a size 18 from Marks & Spencer and the skirt is a size 18 from Taking Shape back in Oz. The skirt admittedly is a little loose.

    My mum bought me over a bunch of tshirts and pants from Oz, size 18 pants, 16 or 18 tshirts. I guess being tall helps you look a wee bit smaller!