Wednesday Weigh-In – Week Eleven

I clean forgot to post yesterday. But, huzzah! A loss of 1.1 kg this week puts me back at my pre-wedding lowest weight of 88.7 kg. I can’t be arsed with the stats – it’s the exact same figures as the Week Six Weigh-In if you feel like some number crunching :)

Hanna was asking in the last entry how come I moved so far out if I don’t like living out of town so much, and why didn’t we decide to get a place closer to the city as a compromise when we got married? And a fair question it was, considering how much I’d been complaining about it! It all came down to finances. The only reason I could afford to live in the inner city was because I was sharing a house with six other people. A two-person love nest was beyond out means – at least £500 per month for the same area, and that’s often for just one bedroom and a boxroom, and also excluding expenses and council tax! OUCH! It seemed an awful lot money to pay in dead rent. So for now we’re staying at Chez SC where things are far, far cheaper. This way we can hopefully start saving some money. Woohoo!

I’m feeling a lot calmer about my new surroundings and carving out a routine. The internet shopping is working like a charm, and we’ve been cooking really healthy nosh. One advantage of the new digs is that I now take the train to work. This involves a total of one hour’s walking to and from the station each day. So that’s five hours extra Moving Of My Lardy Arse per week without having to try! Kick ass.

So what can you guys tell me about workout DVDs? I wouldn’t mind having a few around for rainy days. Or bad hair days. I’m particularly interested in strength training, yoga, pilates-ish sorta stuff. And I want it to be challenging. I’ve seen people say good things FitPrime and Kick Butt ones from the Women’s Health & Fitness Network, which doesn’t ship outside North America, as well as The Firm and a few others. There doesn’t seem to be any in the UK that weren’t put out by some Z-list celebrity!

I had so much I wanted to write about but I better scoot so I don’t miss my train! Hope you’re all doing goooooood!

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Domestic Bliss

Today I went CRAZY in SC’s kitchen. Or should I say Our Kitchen. It was time to blend my array of kitchen shite with his. I took things out of cupboards, ruthlessly chucked out anything I’d not seen him use in the past six months, wiped and scrubbed and polished. He kept offering to help but, at the risk of sounding like my mother, it was quicker to do it myself ;) So now the cupboards are all organised logically, instead of in his freestylin’ bachelor way. My endless bags of lentils and brown rice and quinoa and seeds are finally nestled all cosy with his Spaghetti Hoops. And our spice racks are now one! You have never seen so much bloody cumin in your life. It’s one of those things that seems to breed.

Everyone’s been teasing me and SC that I would Take Over the flat as soon as I moved in and make great sweeping changes. People seem to forget how fundamentally lazy I am – I couldn’t be arsed redecorating. But the kitchen is one place I like a bit of order, especially after sharing a kitchen with six others for the past two years! Now everything has a place and my seeds and oats are all packed in their wee containers ready for this weeks’ breakfasts, therefore I feel ready to face the world!

Things have been happening on the exercise front. Last Sunday in addition to the Couch to 5k Run, SC took me out for another bike lesson. I was a reluctant student, on the verge of a tantrum. I always talk about how I’d like to get into cycling, but every time he takes me out I freeze up and get panicky. But SC was persistent, and before long I was hurtling along the cycle path, changing gears and everything! The last bike I rode had pink streamers coming from the handlebars and a basket on the front! It was utterly terrifying, I couldn’t steer straight for the life of me. I was so embarrassed I’d stop every time I could see someone coming. But after awhile I pedalled on, and was passed by a family on tandems. The mother smiled sympathetically and said, "They’re hard to control, these contraptions, aren’t they?"

I was so bloody mortified, but oh well. You gotta start somewhere! In the end I did about three miles until my arse got numb. SC walked along in the background, then I pedalled back to the start of the cycle path and sat on a tree stump and waited for him to get back.

"What did you think of that?" he asked.

"Oh yeah. Not bad I spose."

So we’ve kept up with the running. Getting outside is the hardest part. Lots of whining and moaning before finally getting the shoes on, "FINE! Alright! I’ll go!". Saturday I was on my own and managed to run a whole freaking mile! Huzzah! My personal record. How the hell to marathon folk run 26 of them!?

Today was pouring rain all day long and I was looking for any excuse to stay on the couch, but we got the waterproof jackets on and trotted out. It was walk 2 minutes, run 1.5 minutes, times six as per the Couch to 5k, then some more walking at the end. It was so weird but I really liked running in the rain! The park was deserted and the rain was light and steady and I felt so much stronger than last week. You could almost say I enjoyed it! I can’t believe it either.

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Wednesday Weigh-In – Week Ten

So I gained half a kilo this week – I’m up to 89.8kg. I am too miserable to be arsed posting the usual list of stats. It’s not as fun when the number goes up!

There were a few days this week that I seemed to forget I was this overweight person who cannot get away with eating chocolate bars. I had not got organised with grocery shopping yet so I didn’t have good snacks for work. Instead I made trips to the vending machine. I had Mars Bars, Twirls and this strangely addictive Kinder Bueno thing.

I was in serious denial on the weekend, in my Saturday entry I said I was feeling “vague and half-hearted” about weight loss. Vague and half-hearted is one way of putting it, but being a mindless sugar pig is another! Saturday afternoon, after joining the gym, I walked to a mini supermarket in search of olives and peppers for our pasta that night. There were no peppers and this tiny jar of olives for 89p. I got all huffy and resentful, the expensive olives being a metaphor for the utter shiteness of the town I now live in. I stomped around the shop looking for something to calm me down, and then I spotted the freezer.

“AH HA!” I thought, “There is the freezer, and in that freezer is ICE CREAM, that substance that I really wanted last week but didn’t get! So now it will be mine!”

I bought one of those Mars Bar icecream bars, just to continue the Mars Bar theme of the week. It was “only” one bar, as opposed to a box, so I got another one of those Kinder Buenos in case I wasn’t satisfied with the Mars Bar.

I was walking back home, halfway up the big hill when I remembered SC was there, and all his mates were over. So I stood there scoffing down this Mars Bar ice cream, lurking behind a tree like some pervert, putting the bar down every time a car went by so people wouldn’t think I was the Greedy Fat Chick. I was so edgy that I didn’t enjoy a single mouthful, then I had to squint into car windows to see if I’d left chocolate evidence on my mouth.

I got home and pretty much lurked in the bedroom all evening after saying hi to everyone. I read my book Running Made Easy while sneaking bites of the Kinder now and then, stashing the wrapper in my handbag.

I was struck by the ridiculousness of my behaviour. What the hell was I doing? Who was this benefiting? Was this how I wanted my married life to be? Clandestine chocolate bars and foil wrappers in my undie drawer for the rest of my days?

I think I am just feeling unnerved by of all the change going on at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I am over the moon to be married to SC, but the whole moving out to his place and giving up my old routines and favourite haunts has been harder than I expected. I didn’t expect to feel so resentful. I hate having to come up with all new ways of doing things, especially in terms of weight loss – because as you know I had a cracker of a routine happening before the wedding, I had great losses and was making progress with my fitness. Now I am struggling to get the formula right. That said, scoffing down chocolate bars is NOT going to get me back on track. It’s not rebellion eating, it’s just dumb eating.

Sunday became Get My Shit Together Day. I know that only planning brings me success. So I finally ordered the groceries online, we now have a fridge full of healthy stuff. Then I emailled the lovely Mistress Julia about the 5k and she is going to send me a training plan. I decided not to wait around in the meantime – SC and I went out and did Week One Day One of the Couch to 5k programme. It was a bit rough, I found running outdoors with hills and winds so much harder than faffing on the treadmill – but I was glad I did it. SC could have gone a lot faster but he insisted on staying with me. He is so bloody sweet and encouraging, I love him to bits. His encouragement as I bitched and moaned and huffed and puffed made me feel guilty for the secret binge the day before.

Monday night I braved the new gym and went to Body Pump. It was four weeks since my last class but I am proud to say I didn’t need to reduce any of my weights. I was in agony yesterday though, and my triceps are still killing today! And we’re off for another walk/jog tonight. I still feel kinda shaky at the moment, all this new stuff seems to have dented my confidence for some reason. But I just have to keep doing these positive things. Putting down the chocolate bars, putting on the running shoes. I can do it.

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Physical Challenge!

Kimba wrote yesterday about how she gets her best results when she’s doing a Challenge. I realised after reading it that that’s how I operate too. Those six weeks leading up to my wedding was really fuelled by Wedding Dress Fear. I remember saying here it was about the Big Picture and health and fitness and blah blah blah, but now I realise it was the deadline and specific timeframe really gave me the kick up the arse I needed. I was on fire! Since I got back from the States I’ve been eating well but have been kind of vague and half-hearted. I can attribute a bit of that to jetlag and the return of a rotten cold, yet I think the lack of specific focus is what’s missing. I need a GOAL, baby!

So as of Sunday there’s 11 weeks til the 5k Race for Life. That’s a nice slab of time I think I can focus on without feeling overwhelmed. 11 weeks to get my lazy arse back to the gym, 11 weeks to eat well. Oh, and 11 weeks to learn how to run! Ha ha!

I got my Race for Life pack in the mail a few weeks ago and it was freaky! There was this piece of paper with a NUMBER on it that I am supposed to pin on my shirt then run this five kilometres. I know thousands of people can run 5k with their eyes closed, and you don’t even have to run this one! It’s for charity so you can just walk or jog or skid along on your arse if you want. But still, it made me nervous. But running in front of people? Taking it to the streets? My idea exercise scenario is a darkened basement, but I guess it’s time to get over that Jiggling In Public fear. Yikes. I’ll start hassling friends and family for sponsors soon – the more money I get pledged, the more I will be guilt-tripped into moving my butt.

So aside from that, I have to get my head around this whole being married palaver, or more to the point the cohabiting thing. I’m living at SC’s house now, or should I say ours. It’s a bit of an adjustment from living in my relatively inner city hood with fancy gym and abundance of food shops round the corner, including a health food grocer. But now the nearest supermarket is about half an hour’s walk away, the return leg with grocery bags being uphill. There’s a few smaller places about 15-20 mins walk but the selection on offer is pretty shithouse. Since we’re car-less this can be a royal pain in the arse. There’s no such thing as dashing in for a few ingredients for dinner. The advantage to THAT is it’s much more difficult to go on a Spontaneous Chocolate Expedition. But mostly it seems like we never have enough of teh right food,or time or energy to go get some.

After bitching and moaning about This Piece of Shit Town all week, I’ve come up with a sensible solution – internet shopping. No lugging food up hills or getting takeaway coz we’re too lazy to face the hills. There’s even an organic fruit and veg box company that delivers in our area so I will check that out too. I used to get net groceries back in Oz and liked it a lot – we planned our meals and order exactly what we needed. It ends up being a lot easier to stick to your healthy eating.

As for exercise, I’ve now officially finished mourning the Posh Gym. I’ve just got back from signing up at the local council leisure centre about 15 mins walk from my new digs. It has a decent amount of classes, no Body Jam though. No soft couches or bar or cooked breakfasts. Wah! And it’s only bloody 5 quid a month cheaper than the Posh Gym! Och well. I am going to suck it up and move on. I always pride myself on my adaptability so I guess it’s time to focus on the actual exercise than the poncy facilities!

Right now it’s 6pm and I can still see the sun. Looks like spring is finally coming to Scotland. This winter was so utterly long and shite, it’s nice to feel the will to live returning, huzzah!

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Only Fools Rush In

Arrgh! I wrote a bigass entry in my email program and it CRASHED before I saved the draft. So now I have to rely on my memory. Do you know how unreliable that is?

Wedding First of all… I'm back! I'm married! So now I am finally at liberty to tell you what went down with our connubials. We eloped to Las Vegas. Twice! Complete with Elvis impersonator! You can read all the wacky details on my non-fat blog, starting right here.

Thank you so much to the groovy groovers who sent us wedding gifts while we were in the USA! Amazon doesn't give you contact info so if you could email me so I can chat properly that'd be tops! So a big thanks to Veronica (handblender!), BethK (fondue set!), Celina from Washington (Vertigo DVD and George F Baby Grill!) and to the anonymous soul who sent the egg poacher thingy!

This may sound like an odd collection of goods but this was all stuff we really wanted so it was so bloody cool to come home all post-holiday depressed only to find PRESENTS! Thank you kindly for your good wishes.

And now for an update on the fat.

. . .

Wednesday Weigh-In – Week Nine

last update: 16 March 2005

original start weight: 159.2 kg (351 lb) on 17 Jan 2001
original start bmi: 53.4

fresh start weight: 95.9 kg (211.4 lb) on 12 Jan 2005
fresh start bmi: 32.2

current weight: 89.3 kg (196.5 lb)
current bmi: 29.9

result this week: +0.6 kg (1.7 lb)

loss in 2005: -6.6 kg (14.6 lb)
total loss since 2001: -69.9 kg (153.7 lb)

initial goal weight: 75 kg (165 lb)
distance to initial goal: 14.3 kg  (31.5 lb)

. . .

You may recall my goal for the last three weeks of wedding/honeymooning was to simply STAY IN THE 80s! With a 0.6  gain I am at 89.3 which I am happy with. I will have to be really careful this coming week, but overall I am pleased with how things went.

After being so vigilant for the preceding six weeks, I was shitscared about travelling to the USA – land of super sizing, bountiful buffets and Peanut Butter Cups. How would I resist? The first four days of the trip were a BREEZE, thanks to my lovely friend Jillian. Jillian is a brilliant Dietgirl reader and we have been emailling for ages. More on that soon. She kindly offered us a place to stay when she heard we were coming to San Francisco. We took over her lovely guestroom (complete with deck) that she'd dubbed the Pre Honeymoon Suite.

And what a Pre-Honeymoon is was. She cooked us yummy food (her salads rule) and took us wine tasting and sushi-ing. She even took me to her pilates class on the Monday before the wedding. It was one of those yoga/pilates combos (yogalates? poga?) and I tell you, my abs were SCREAMING for the next FIVE DAYS. It was such a good class. I literally could not suck in my stomach on the wedding day coz it hurt so much to breathe in. Ha ha!

Anyway, all this combined with my grim determination to fit into my dress meant my pre-wedding behaviour was great. Post-wedding down at Las Vegas my eating went a bit shite. I ignored the salad bar at the buffet and had some stodgy stuff. And there was apple pie with cream and giant breakfasts – I was on my honeymoon after all! But unlike my previous holiday all-you-can eat binging I largely felt I was in control and sane about things.

Even with this moderate approach I felt the old Sugar Insanity take hold of me again. Plus raging PMS. After Vegas we headed back to San Francisco for another five days, where I told my new husband that I was going healthy again, and he was to remind of this vow if I thought about straying. My resolve was pretty rubbish. The day before we left I was going ON and ON about ice cream.

"I want ice cream! I must have ice cream!"

"You told me to tell you that you don't need ice cream!"

"But this is supposed to be a HOLIDAY and I haven't eaten anything good."

"But what about the restaurants?"

"We didn't have DESSERT in any of those. Dessert is good. The dinner stuff is just dinner. It doesn't count as something Good."

"Didn't you have dessert at Greens?"

"We SHARED a dessert between FOUR people and I only had like two bites."

"Wasn't it four?"

"I had THREE, tops. I just want something SWEET!"

"Oh."

"And I really wanted to go to Ghirardelli for the apparently Famous Hot Fudge Sundae but we didn't end up going and I'm still spewing about that! I have not had my treat quota!"

"But we shared that bar of chocolate in the park today…"

"That was DARK chocolate with nuts and raisins. All those antioxidants, that's health food!"

"What about the chocolates we ate on the bus to the Grand Canyon?"

"I ate that because the only other thing available was a banana that cost ONE DOLLAR. Plus tax. And it was crap chocolate. It wasn't something I was BUSTING TO HAVE."

"So…"

"So it doesn't count. It's only a treat if it's something you really, really wanted. Can't you see the difference?! Jeez."

Now I am back home and the PMS psychosis is over. I have started tracking my food again and I am all fired up to get lard busting. Since I didn't go too crazy with the food in America, I don't feel like I'm completely "starting over" like after my holidays this year. This time I feel calm and in control.

However, I am still thinking about that bloody Sundae. Someday I will go back to San Francisco and it will be mine, all mine!

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