The Right to Party

This weekend I learned that there are more important things in life than your big fat Boeing 747 arms. Friends, family, love, cake – they are more important than the arms.

Actually, the arms aren’t totally bad these days. It’s amazing what weights and running and regular moisturizing can do. Considering what extra-large lumpy loaves they used to be, they have shrunk and shaped up far more than I ever believed possible. I doubt I’ll ever have the confidence to strut about in a strappy top, but I recently I have been buying cap sleeve t-shirts coz that’s all I can bloody find, and they actually look alright.

Anyway, what was I saying? The arms. Saturday was our Scottish Wedding Party and it was a stinking hot day. Hot for Scotland, that is. It may have been in the high twenties, but it was even hotter inside our wedding venue. We had a ceilidh, in which there is a band with fiddles and accordions and everyone does crazy dances. It is bloody great fun.

I rocked up in my wedding dress, all nervous that I didn’t know 60% of the guests and that no one would have a good time and I would be held personally responsible. It’s amazing how much panic you can work up in your mind. But at least I looked pretty good. The dress fit soooo much better than when we eloped in Vegas four months ago. I may have only lost a couple kilos on the scale since then but I can breathe in the damn thing now! The Scottish Companion’s mother gushed, "You look lovely! You have definitely lost a lot of weight, the dress sits so much better now!". I laughed but she looked horrified when she thought about her words, "Ooh! Not that didn’t look good before! Oh dear."

Still, I felt self conscious about my wobbly arms and tried to disguise them with my shawl-wrap-thingy as I greeted our guests. But as soon as the dancing started I realised I’d have to abandon it. It was just too stinking hot! After just one dance people were sweat-slicked and stumbling off the dance floor to the bar. I was handing out all the cards we’d recevied with wedding gifts, so folk could wave them in front of their faces like fans. I downed a gin and tonic for dutch courage, chucked the shawl on the table, then didn’t spare a thought for my arms for the rest of the night. I mean, really. Who gives a shit about my arms? People were there coz they were my friend or SC’s friend or some grey-haired stranger that SC’s folks knew and they wanted to celebrate our marriage. Plus dance and get drunk. They were too busy having fun to be bothered with my arms. So why the hell was I bothered? Wasn’t I there to have fun too?

So I did. As much as I loved running off to Vegas, having a big party with all our friends was even better. All those happy smiley partying people around us finally made it sink into my brain that we were married. And I was really chuffed about that. And even though I was quite nicely sozzled for most of the night, I was also chuffed to realise I felt comfortable in my skin. I chatted to strangers and friends alike, I danced when the dancefloor was practically empty. I just felt happy and grateful to be alive and well and to know a whole bunch of lovely people. I don’t think this Lard Busting Journey is so much about busting lard as it is about busting insecurities and fears, gaining perspective and learning how to like yourself… and just to like life, really. I used to crawl through my days like a slug, both in body and mind, numb and listless. Not anymore.

So two weddings down, one to go.

All that partying led to a gain on the scale this week. I’m back up to 87.1 kilos. Ooh er! What can I say, not only did my sister and I get reacquainted with each other, but also with some brownies and chocolate shakes and burgers and chips and sausage rolls. I had a great time, but now with just ten weeks til I fly back to Australia it’s time to get my arse into gear. I am not going to set dozens of lofty goals, but instead just one: Track Food Every Single Day using WLR. If I can do this, everything else usually falls into place.

I just have to share some a recent Woohoo Moment. Today I am wearing a t-shirt from John Lewis and it is a size 14. I bought some 3/4 gym pants and they are a size 14. I bought some little padded bike shorts online for my RPM class I got the 14/16 and they were too big so I sent back and got the 12/14 which fits perfectly. Now this means sweet bugger all since everything else I own is a size 16 and fits just right. I have some size 16 undies my Mum sent from oz that are way too tiny. Sizes are weird and inconsistent. But holy crap, I have some stuff that has a 1 and a 4 on the label! Do you know the last time I had something in a size 14 was my Year 10 formal dress? Twelve years ago! So even if it means diddley squat, I do like to look at those labels and shriek, "Woohoo! There’s a 1 and a 4 on there!".

Incidentally I got fitted for a new bra the other day since the cups were swimming on some of my old ones, and I was a 34DD! What the hell? Last time I got measured in December 2003 I was 38C. I was coughing and spluttering indignantly at the Measuring Lady for daring to give me such a hefty measurement. She had to explain to me very patiently how it all works. I must be the only person in the world who didn’t realise that the cup sizes change along with the band sizes. So the cup of a 34DD is smaller than the cup of a 40DD or 38C. So I had shrunk and she wasn’t implying I was a fatass. You learn something every day, I tells ya.

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19 thoughts on “The Right to Party

  1. Dying DYING for pictures! Ahk! We will all be holding our breath for the detailed Party entry on your other site. For the love of God! This mystery dress- they way it mysteriously fits better. lol.
    Who gives a crap about ARMS!
    -Dance on
    Vicky

  2. indeed, who gives a crap about arms! i have had such a complex about them for about 15 years and i have had enough. sure they’re flabby and there’s stretchmarks but there’s also MUSCLE and i am proud of that…

    as for photos… oh dear, my apologies folks. i only took ONE pic all night! my friend who volunteered to take some snaps said only a few worked out coz he had his camera on the wrong setting. one of my london mates took some and hopefully she can email them to me soon. we didn’t have a proper photographer since it was such a casual party. will be having one in australia tho…

  3. Yes, I remember when I lost a bunch of weight and needed new bras and went from a DD to a DDD and was like… WTF?!? I still have a lovely 40D from Victoria’s Secret waiting for me in the back of a drawer.

    Glad you had fun at your second wedding! The third one will be a BLAST also since it’s your old friends and family and some who haven’t seen you in ages… heehee!!! It’s true what you said about your arms… no one else cares, they’re all there to have fun, why should you care? We can be so self-centered at times!!

  4. you are right that it is more about accepting oneself hten loosing lard. Im starting that journey too but hasnยดt got as far as you have yet but I hope I will one day. I also think you finding love has helped you but it cant do the work. I have to do the work and start loving myself first.

    and one more thing.
    you know that what you gained this last week is not just fat? one dont gain so much fat in a week it is water and other things so when you go slower on the carbs you will loose alot and problably all in a very short time.

    good luck

  5. Congrats on your Woo Hoo moment!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’m kind of mystified on the bra thing, myself. I thought DD was larger than C, too! I have never had the opportunity to be measured… I usually just try things on and go with the best fit.

  6. Ok! I too had a shock recently. I thought I was a 48 DDD which is bad enough but I am actually a 48 G. When the sales lady told me that after my “official” measure I about melted on the spot. The Oprah show did a whole thing on bra sizes and it was very informative. They did explain how the cups change with the band size. I have decided that next summer after I drop about 100 pounds I want a breast reduction. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I don’t think she would be implying that you were a fat arse anyway, more like fat tits!! LMAO!! I had a wee tear in my eye when you mentioned the insecurities etc, changes for life and all that other inspirational stuff. I think, we as fatties (be it former fatties or current fatties)need to realise that the majority of the time it is not about the food. Of course, sometimes it is!! MMMMMM burgers!!!!!!!!!

  8. Awesome @ the 1 & 4, I actually had a similar experience at fitting into 16 jeans, I am just soo happy about it!! Good for you Hun!!!

    can not wait for photos either **hint hint** ;D

    And you’re so right about the more important things in life, it’s great to see you’re enjoying yourself and being comfortable in your skin. That is such a massive achievement. I agree with the journey too… it is about learning to like life. That line was HUGE for me. Thanx for sharing your thoughts.

    p.s. I didn’t know the whole cup thing went down with size. Hahha. Learn something new every day!

  9. Aww…just reading that made me so happy. You sound wonderful and I am so thrilled that you and the SC are glowing in your wedded (size 14!) bliss. Blessings to you!

  10. I’m so happy for you! I’ll be raising a glass of sparkly for the two of you tonight, and few dansy steps to go with ๐Ÿ˜€ What is it with undies btw – mine are always four sizes bigger than my tops and pants (and everything else). Hmpfh.

  11. Congratulations to you both for your wonderful party. And what a fantastic whooo hooo moment. It’s a brilliant post. Hope you have a lovely day ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Congratulations again and again!!!! And bring on more woo hoo moments too!!!!

    Now, let’s get down to taking and posting some picies please!

  13. what an amazing inspiring post.
    congratulations on the wedding, the courage and the size 14 achievement.
    Its not really the number that counts but the fact that you got there.
    all the best.

  14. DG, I’m sitting here, eating baked beans on toast, grinning like I just found 20cents in the crease of my lounge.

    Congratulations on the bra downsizing and the arm baring braveness!

    Its terrifically splendid to hear you mentioning positives in this post. You have achieved a fuck load cupcake, I like to hear that you are happy about that fact alone!

    10 weeks to the OZ wedding, oh my god, you can sculpt that trim body incredibly in that time! Go you!

  15. Do you know that we got married mere weeks apart? I’m just now realizing that. Thank God you had someone else getting the post-parties organized, because if you’re anything like me, once the original got done it’s like “ehhhhhh, I’m okay, thanks.”

    Love your stories, doll. Wish I could’ve seen that party. I wanna see PICTURES. (I will share back, if you want, I swear. Me and the Hub on the beach. Woo!)

  16. I’ve really enjoyed this entry. My arms have been one of the most sensitive areas of my body for the better of my life. I know how you feel! Every wedding picture I have that you can see my arms I cringe when I see. I am a au size 10/12 now and still do not like my arms, but I finally do wear sleeveless things and try to remind myself that it isn’t that bad. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m glad you had a good time at the Wedding Party. I wish I could have been there because it sounds like you guys have a very happy union. All the best for the next 10 weeks. And if you find yourself near Adelaide, I’d like to meet you. Or maybe I could even go to where you are if I happen on some money by some chance! ;0

  17. Now, I’m using up me ‘credits per comment’ priviledges here but I have to say this….

    I just checked out your wedding in Vegas photos… I know they are a sore point for you but sheeesh, you have really slender arms.

    If I didn’t think it, believe me, I’d shut the hell up and agree with you silently. But babe, they are really shapely arms and you’ve shaped up even MORE since those pics were taken!

    Cant WAIT to see the new pics!

  18. DG-

    Comfortable in your own skin is a wonderful thing that I have always wished for you. It sounds like a great party.

    Congratulations AGAIN!

  19. Wow, I always thought it was just that the band measurement goes down and so they do some sorta subtraction and then you end up with a bigger cup size cuz there is less around you… maybe I’ve never quite “gotten” it.

    Congrats on the married bliss! I didn’t know you were a newlywed! I haven’t been around long, sorry.

    My hub and I got married in Vegas, too! We did it with no one else there, just us – and then my mom threw a big party for us, but it was casual. Though I did wear my sparkly wedding flip flops (we got married outside, in the desert!) and my little sparkly headband. ๐Ÿ™‚

    His family isn’t over the elopment yet, so they had no party. When we told them, they wanted us to move the wedding to their area, but that was so not happening!

    Glad you had a great time, and I agree – self-esteem is critical! Without gaining that, this journey is nothing.