I got a letter from the local council yesterday reminding me that my membership to their provincial barn that masquerades as a gym will expire in March.
If I want to continue my membership I need to:
- Fill in the same Joining Form that I filled in when I joined last year
- Fill out the Direct Debit form again
- Attach yet another passport photograph
- Send it off then and wait 30 days or so for this to be processed
- Wait by the mailbox for my new membership card to be dispatched.
Local government is notorious for inefficiency but have you ever seen such a ridiculous paper-wasting palaver!? In addition to that I will need to cough up an extra £3 a month, taking it up to £47 pounds a month. At todays rates this translates to $112 AUD, $84 US, 60 Euro, 16,372 Slovenian Tolars or 5,584 Bangladeshi Takas.
£47 is also a paltry £3 less than what I used to pay for my beloved softly-lit excellent-timetabled fancy-showered free-breakfasting internet-cafed two-dozen-treadmilled Heaven Gym back in Edinburgh! O the humanity!
The facilities at my gym are excellent by council gym standards, albeit quirky. The pool is always full of peeing kiddies or old ladies in bathing caps. The change rooms are always full of naked peeing kiddies and old ladies in bathing caps. The weights room is always hogged by steroid-pumped guys with crewcuts who talk shit to each to other in impenetrable accents, but their grunting and groaning needs no translation. The fitness class instructors are good, but the classes are held in a basketball court, so their voices blast and echo off the walls. You literally cannot understand a single word they say. At Body Pump I watch the beginners stand there with their bars, gawking at the stage in confusion. And there’s no Technique class to help people learn the moves either – so you hardly ever see them come back the next week.
On the whole the gym is perfectly fine. They manage to appeal to all kinds of people and have a good range of activities. Despite the boring timetable and lack of Body Jam, I have made it work for me over the past year. It’s the only gym around and it’s a mere ten minutes walk from our flat. Plus it’s at the halfway point between the train station and home, so it’s hard to justify skipping a workout at the end of the day.
BUT STILL, I just don’t see how the facilities on offer are worth £47 a month! I don’t see how they get away with charging almost as much as a poncy private gym. Ooh every time I look at my Online Banking and see that debit has come out I just start to glare and spit at the screen. Boo! Hiss! BAH!
By the way, there is no point to this rant at all. I raged about it to the Scottish Companion last night but thought I should rage about it again here, just to spread that pointless fury a little further!
. . .
Beckie tagged me for a meme thingy. If people post memes on non-fat blogs I usually skip over them, sneering rather righteously, "That’s lazy content!". But I always read the answers on fat blogs coz I want to know what everyone is into aside from lard busting. We all have other talents and dimensions, dammit. Plus noone had ever tagged me before! So I was chuffed about that. Cheers Beck!
So only read on if you don’t mind a meme. If you do, come back later in the week. Hehe.
. . .
1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was just about to leave home to start the first year of my journalism degree. Ten YEARS ago!? Bloody hell. I had also just finished up my high school job at KFC (I don’t recommend you work at KFC if you have a problem with food). I was also learning to drive in an awful hurry (I don’t recommend trying to learn to drive in two weeks. It will make you a rather crappy driver).
2. What were you doing a year ago?
Planning a quickie wedding and frantically exercising to fit into wedding frock.
3. Five snacks I enjoy:
Avocado mushed up on grainy toast with heaps of black pepper
Almond butter on grainy toast
Fruit scone with butter and raspberry jam (didn’t have to be healthy, did it?)
Nairns Rough oatcakes with mature cheddar cheese
Arrgh! I’m hungry now.
4. Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
A Day In The Life by The Beatles
Six Months In A Leaky Boat by Split Enz
Anything by The Eagles (shame!) or Radiohead.
Boys and Girls by Blur. Except I get the girls and boys mixed up all the time.
5. Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Pay off debts for family and friends
Buy a house in Australia and a house in Scotland
Hire a personal trainer to bully me into buffness
Hire a personal shopper to fetch me a decent wardrobe
Donate money to obsure charities that don’t get much publicity
6. Five Bad Habits:
Leaving "bits" on the dishes when doing the washing up
Spraying the kitchen with low-fat cooking spray instead of the food
Leaving clothes in a pile on the bed/chair/floor
Not listening to instructions properly
7. Five Things I Enjoy Doing:
Wandering around foreign supermarkets
Watching mens tennis
Arranging my boarding pass collection in chronological order
8. Five Things I Would Never Wear
Bikinis, mini skirts, capri pants, cropped jackets or anything Burberry.
9. Five favourite toys:
Harvey the iBook, Pedro the iPod Shuffle, the stab blender, the electric frypan and the Scottish Companion. HA HA!
I tag: Anyone who feels so inclined.
Til next time, Gadget.