I Want Something’s Flesh!

Do you think I need some red meat?

Saturday night I had a dream, in which I arrived home from work, starving as usual. I went to the fridge looking for the half hamburger I’d put there for safekeeping. I love cold burgers. If I go to a takeaway in Oz or an overpriced gourmet burger joint in Britain, I like to take half my burger home in a doggy bag, just so I can eat it the next day. A night in the fridge gives the bun and the salad and the meat time to mingle so deliciously…

But alas! My dream burger was not in the fridge!

I stormed into the living room where my father and his Third Wife sat. "Alright you two, what have you done with my burger?"

"What burger?" said my father. Third Wife said nothing as she doesn’t speak English.

"The burger I had in the fridge! For me to eat when I got home from work! That I had been looking forward to ALL DAY LONG!"

"Oh that burger. I threw it in the bin, I didn’t think you’d want it."

"WELL I DID."

"Oh."

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

I woke up angry, and craving burgers.

Sunday night I dreamed I was in Goulburn visiting the Mothership and she went downtown to get us takeaway for dinner. She came back with a fat parcel of chips under her arm.

"Sooo, where are you hiding my hamburger?"

"I didn’t know you wanted one!"

"You asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted a burger. I said please!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I’m sure!"

"Oh. Well I have some steamed fish in the kitchen."

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

Again I woke up mad as hell and craving meat.

Two burger dreams is coincidence, but if I have a third then it’s a definite pattern! I see a visit to Wannaburger in my near future.

. . .

I hope I didn’t offend any Maintainers with my last post! I do realise that the journey doesn’t end at goal, that maintenance is extremely difficult, and most of all that I won’t be cast out of the fatblogosphere when I reach my goal weight. I just had a funny image in my head of being physically removed – my slightly lighter body being hoisted out of town by chanting crowds with flaming torches. Ceremonially banished!

I neglected to mention the biggest reason for my not racing to the so-called finish line – Because I am happy. I look in the mirror and I like what I see. There’s no loathing anymore, just quiet pride and acceptance. I feel strong, fit and healthy.

Maybe because I used to be so flamingly huge my expectations are lower. Maybe if someone else occupied my body they’d feel far from satisified. But I like what I see now and sometimes it’s hard to muster any urgency to lose another 6.9 kilos just because the charts say I need to. Some might call that complacency or laziness, and you might take one look at me and say, "But you’re still a pork!". Yet I believe losing these remaining kilos (and possibly dropping another size) is a purely cosmetic thing.

To be happy to just be myself, after sooo many wasted years of gloom, feels like I’ve already won the prize.

But dudes! Never fear. I will still finish the task on paper. Just so I can say I did it. Just so for once in my life, I can finish something I started.

I am motivated. I am pumping myself up for action as we speak, Lleyton Hewitt style. C’MONNNNNNN!

Lleyton

. . .

All that said, I’ve been more focused on improving my fitness and muscles than making the numbers go down. I just completed my most BLOODY BRILLIANT week of exercise all year. I had made a lofty NY resolution to do 3 x cardio, 3 x strength plus abs and flexibility each week, but this is the first week I’ve actually done it all properly, without shortcuts. There was even extra cardio. I feel all stretched out, sporty and smug.

Wednesday is Rest Day, so tonight I’ll sit on my arse and watch The Hairy Bikers. Woohoo!

. . .

Wednesday is also Weigh Day – I maintained this week, which follows my paltry 0.5lb loss the week before. This Dress Rehearsal for Maintenance is getting tiresome! πŸ˜›

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19 thoughts on “I Want Something’s Flesh!

  1. Hamburger

    To see or eat a hamburger in your dream, suggests that you are lacking some emotional, intellectual, or physical component you need in order to feel whole again. You may be feeling unsatisfied with some situation or relationship. It is also symbolic of your experiences and how you need to learn from them. Look at the big picture. From – link to dreammoods.com

    Personally I think you were just hungry for a burger.

  2. Must be Odd Dreams Week. Mine, last night, involved living in a flat which was infested with large insects. Spiders, mostly. These didn’t really bother me in the dream (as they don’t in real life) but it got a bit annoying having to tip them repeatedly out of the windows. The final insecty thing was a horseshoe crab about as big as my hand, and a shiny metallic-red colour. It was quite sweet, but I worried about treading on it.

    I have NEVER dreamed about cold burgers, though. Or steamed fish either for that matter.

  3. God girl, go get yourself a burger!

    I’ve never tried leftover burger but was a big fan of the leftover pizza (for breakfast of course).

  4. You are happy!! You look in the mirror and you are happy. That is the biggest accomplishment anyone can achieve. At the end of the day, it is not about the numbers but about the fact that you are fit, healthy and voluptuous and one hell of a person who has accomplished so much. Give yourself a bloody great pat on the back. And maybe go for a nice “mad-cow free” steak instead.

  5. At least you were dreaming about proper burgers and not those of the Maccas variety! Oddly enough, last time I was in Goulburn I stopped to get a burger – it was at a place just down the road from ‘Soap World’ hehehe!
    I really like your attitude about not rushing towards goal and being happy with yourself – you deserve it! Besides, when I saw you last Oct you truly looked fantastic (and not porky in the least).

  6. I once dreamt of hearing a deep voice saying ‘to infinity and beyond!’ but it was just a Buzz Lightyear toy that had fallen over onto its talk button.

    I’ve had the Grim Reaper appear in a dream. I stared at it and the figure turned and left the room. Apparently it means I have faced my fears, although I’m still uncomfortable around heights.

    Congrats on your maintain, it’s not a gain, so all good.

  7. Thanks. Now I want a hamburger. And onion rings, come to think of it. πŸ˜›

    Being happy with yourself is the most important thing!!!

  8. We’ve lost our TV remote and last night I dreamt it was in the fridge.. Alas, no remote when i checked this morning. Great, guess I’m having a burger next time I visit hubby at his fish & greasies..

  9. Sometimes a hamburger is just a hamburger (LOL). I’d just throw in that you should get the best, yummiest burger ever (not McD’s) and really enjoy it!

  10. I also hate the practise maintenance. I’ve been trying to lose the last 20 pounds for almost 2 years. I’m such a glass half full person, it doesn’t even strike me that I’ve kept the majority of the 70 pounds off for over 2 years! Think of it that way DG–you’ve kept the majority of the poundage off for a LOOOONG time and you’re happy about it. I’m hoping now that my body is OK with this set point, it’s ready to let go of a little more and make a new set point.

  11. I sometimes count points in my dreams.
    I believe it’s good to be happy with yourself no matter what you way. This time my weight loss motivation was happiness.
    Also I believe that depriving yourself of the food you want can lead to binges as long as you count the burger there is no reason to exclude it. I prefer getting the grilled chicken over the burger but sometimes I just want the burger and there is nothing wrong with that.

  12. I sometimes count points in my dreams.
    I believe it’s good to be happy with yourself no matter what you way. This time my weight loss motivation was happiness.
    Also I believe that depriving yourself of the food you want can lead to binges as long as you count the burger there is no reason to exclude it. I prefer getting the grilled chicken over the burger but sometimes I just want the burger and there is nothing wrong with that.

  13. “Just so for once in my life, I can finish something I started.”

    Wow, I want to be able to say that too! And I am quite a bit older than you, and still have never finished a thing I set out to do. I hate my ‘starting over’ tendencies!!!

  14. *sigh* I had so much to say. So much wisdom. So much burger related fluff. But all I can think of now are Lleytons Arms. And I don’t even like him that much but his arms…..*drool*

    Hope you have a great weekend. Keep up that exercise and you will be kicking goal butt and taking on maintenance sooner than you think πŸ˜€

  15. Sometimes a girl just needs a thick slab of meat to gnaw on!! you’re lucky, i never dream about food… usually just water. lots and lots of water, showering and bathing especially. You are going to rock the maintenance world, those stubborn 6.9 will come off with a little piss’n’vinegar πŸ˜‰ ciao

  16. It’s so nice to read about your happiness. Well done, you. I think that my current maintaining might have something to do with the Tesco’s fruit pastilles I keep eating. They’re really nice and are probably also doing bad things to my teeth.