Heavy Metal

Grunt! Urrgh! Mrrrgh! Oof! KAPOW!

I’ve been a complete stressmonkey this week, and had almost convinced myself that hit of Green & Blacks was the answer. But on Thursday night I spied my dumbell collection under the bed, all lined up in a neat silvery row. They were calling out, Remember us?

Weights are my favourite exercise when I’m crabbit. I like the routine of dragging out Reebok step, tying my greasy locks into ponytails, placing all the dumbells in numerical order, closing the blinds and cranking up the DVD on the laptop. All that organising has a soothing effect!

I’m still on my Cathe Friedrich kick. Since I hurt my knee I haven’t been able to do Body Pump classes at the gym, as squats and lunges are agony. So I stick to Cathe’s upper body DVD’s. The moves are gruelling, but her all-American winning smile never wavers. She’s motivating without being nauseating.

And just like my beloved Body Pump classes, Cathe bosses me around and tells me exactly what to do. I am lazy, people! All I have to do is Obey Cathe and I’m guaranteed to wind up in limb-trembling agony without any thought on my part.

I don’t even mind that I’ve done the tapes so many times that I know what’s coming. I still feel a wee internal woohoo every time she grins, "We’ve got a TOUGH workout ahead of us today, are you ready?".

Sometimes I’ll chirp back at the screen in an unconvincing American accent, "I’m TOTALLY ready Cathe!"

Thursday was Chest and Triceps. First up was the dreaded dropset of 72 pushups, which I am still doing wall-style (a tip from Marla!). After that it’s bench presses and flys. Then you remove the risers from one side of your step so you can do incline presses and flys.

The incline was when I became aware that all the stress had somehow evaporated from my body. All the crap I’d been panicking about all week suddenly seemed a lot less important. If I hadn’t been pinned down by 15 kilos of metal, I would have slid off the step in a blissful puddle. There’s something about the repetitve grunt of the movements that clears my mind; the simplicity of lifting those dinky dumbbells up and down. Many people complain weights are boring, but I like them because they’re boring. Once you know what you’re doing and what muscles are meant to be screaming, you can just switch off your brain. You are free to daydream of bunnies or shoes or sushi while your body sings along without you.

"You did a GREAT JOB!"  Cathe cheered, 45 minutes later. As she always does. "I’ll see you NEXT TIME!".

I felt completely relaxed and rebooted. Lately I’ve been distracted and antsy, so exercise had fallen by the wayside for almost two weeks. I’d almost forgotten I had a body; I was just a nervous, blobby brain floating round aimlessly. But now mind and body were hooked up again and I could get on with things. I love you, exercise. Let’s never fight again.

I emerged from the Bedroom Gym red-faced and stinky. Gareth enquired with a twang, "How was your TOUGH WORKOUT?"

"Cathe said I did a GREAT JOB!"

"Will she see you NEXT TIME?"

"Oh yes."

I’ll crack on with Back, Biceps and Shoulders today. Huzzah!

Hope you’re having a GREAT weekend. I’ll see you NEXT TIME.

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12 thoughts on “Heavy Metal

  1. 72 pushups!? *eep*

    I’m weird about weights … I love how I feel when I’m doing them and after I’m done I feel like the badassest momma in my neighborhood, but it’s so hard for me to get motivated to do them. I have no idea why. Maybe I’ll check out some of the Cathe DVDs.

  2. nicole, yer right about the motivation thing! i always forget how much i like weights until i’m doing em, not to mention what a difference they make to my shape and tone. must tattoo a reminder on my forehead.

    as for Cathe, she’s been a great investment, especially during winter here when it’s too wet/cold/dark to venture out to the gym. i just bought cheap dumbells and a barbell and a resistance band. the DVDs themselves aren’t that cheap, but they also included PreMixes, which split the workout different ways, including Timesavers for when you only want a quick 30m session. so you get a lot for the money.

    and like Body Pump, they’re as hard or easy you make em, i can’t do as much weight as Cathe uses for most exercises.

    btw, this is no paid endorsement, i’m just a fan 😛

  3. I’ve seen those Cathe DVDs on Amazon (I think I spotted them on your wishlist, if I remember correctly), but I was a bit pissed off that they were classified under ‘Sports and Outdoor’, so Amazon complained when I wanted them shipped to New Zealand. Humbug!

    I mean, I’ve got NOWHERE near enough DVDs, haven’t I? 60 is nothing! I must have more

    Hi! See you NEXT TIME!

  4. Oh…I’ve got to get some of those DVDs. The hubby and I just started a diet so your “confession” came at the right time for us. A little motivation…a few good ideas… a way to excercise in my own living room in my dumpy jammies… perfect timing!

  5. I’ll have to look into those Cathe DVDs. I’ve only done a couple of US ones, and I found the instructors way too cheesy and cheery and all I wanted to do was throw something at them! Hope you are having a great weekend 🙂

  6. I sometimes wonder where the instructor girls in those videos learn their motivational tactics. The girls on THE FIRM almost sound pornographic sometimes…or is it just me that thinks so?

  7. {{I LOVE CATHE.}} I give her a lot of credit for whatever success I’ve enjoyed so far. Her workouts are *excellent*. I’m like you, I need someone to tell me what to do, so these work well for me. And I like her personality, she’s upbeat and positive without being nauseating; I can’t stand most fitness instructors. I taped about 12 of her programs on FitTV when I had cable, and I’ve used them for more than 2 years. I do different programs now and then, but I expect to continue with those tapes for at least another 2 years!

  8. right on, marla.

    everyone should know it’s MARLA’S FAULT i have forked over much of my income to Cathe DVDs as I first read about em on her blog.

    but she’s right, i tried a lot of other dvds and they were just too cheesy and/or perky or too easy or too new-agey. cathe just gets right down to kicking your ass.

    i also recommend her Kick, Punch, Crunch DVD if you like Body Combat or TaeBo sorta stuff. can’t do her step workouts tho, far too tough for my wimpy knees. hehe.

  9. oh my God that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

    You look great by the way. Excellent progress and of course a great attitude!

  10. Your progress pics are extremely inspirational. I just bought some Cathe dvds (I, too, find the workout drones a bit chirpy her in the US? Are they really any different over there? What about Tracey Mallett, she makes me want to kill myself) and am working my way up to them. I have found the kickboxing genre to attract less chirp-drones. Except Denise Austin of course and Mindy Mylrea sort of. Anyhow, you are soooooo gorgeous and lovely, and it’s nice to see you looking like you think you are as beautiful as you are. Isn’t that a nice change? Kind regards from sunny Tucson, Arizona.