The Wiggle

I lost a pound this week. A pound! I know it’s just a wee pound, but a pound off when I’d been in London? Bonus. Normally I come back with a few extras after each visit, so to actually lose one just made my day.

This month continues to be a challenging bastard. Greasy food abounds. First there was the Wickerman Festival, then London, now this weekend we’re off up north again to do some exploring while it’s still summer. We’re staying in B&Bs which of course means Full Scottish Breakfasts so I will have to tread carefully.

. . .

Have you ever had a moment where your body takes you by surprise?

Last week I was in Edinburgh, walking down Princes Street quite happily when I caught my reflection in a shop window. I was utterly gobsmacked by my butt in motion, and not in a good way.

It just seemed to have a life of its own. Wobbly. Wriggly. Wild. Like two animated watermelons wrestling in a sack.

I admit to some lower body paranoia lately, since I’ve been unable to do LB  weights or significant cardio for three months while I’m trying to heal my knee injury. Before that I’d been so pleased with how my butt and traditionally ginormous thighs were finally shrinking – anyone that’s done running and/or spinning for a sustained period will attest to how dramatically it can shape these areas. As the months have worn on I just feel like it’s all slipping away into a blubbery mess. So seeing my jolly rear end in the window just seemed to confirm my fears.

But I pressed on, as I had a train to catch. That was when a young man approached me. You cannot walk down Princes Street without being accosted. I’d already given 10p to a beggar, signed an Oxfam petition and declined to take a survey. The young man had a bagful of books. I think he was one of those Hare Krishnas. I’d been suckered into buying their goods before, never again!

"Why hello there Miss, where are you off to today?"

"Ahhblahmmmffhga, mmmmblahh," I replied. You know, when you wave your hand dismissively and keep walking straight ahead while you do that polite mumbling thing, trying convey your lack of interest without apeparing to be too rude, because even when someone’s annoying you, you don’t want to them to think you’re an asshole.

"Hey," he skipped alongside me, "Are you going somewhere interesting? You must be going somewhere interesting."

"Not really!"

"Well you look like you’re going somewhere interesting…" he yelled after me as I folded into the crowd, "… by the way you’re walking! There’s a real wiggle in your walk!"

And that was when I went to the train station and bought the bag of Hula Hoops mentioned in the last entry. Wiggle in my walk? I fumed as I munched, That bastard!

I ranted to Gareth about it when I got home, declaring that my Lower Body Paranoia had been confirmed by both a shop window AND a Hare Krishna.

But Gareth thought it sounded complimentary. We had a bit of a semantic debate. Apparently WIGGLE is nice; if he’d said there was a WOBBLE in my walk I’d have reason to worry. Well I dunno, there’s only three letters difference into those words, and the same amount of syllables.

Either way, I thought it rather serendipitious that a flyer from a local gym had arrived in the mail that day with a bargain special offer. I’d never renewed my membership at the council gym since I can’t do any of the classes right now and the gym bit is always packed with stinky blokes. So the next day I went and signed up at this teeny tiny ladies only gym. Not much in the way of classes but decent cardio equipment and weights. I’ve missed having a gym to go to for a change of scenery, it’s been just me and Cathe for the past few months. Hopefully I can start building up my fitness again and get working on that gelatinous butt. Woohoo!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

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19 thoughts on “The Wiggle

  1. I wiggle is definitely good – it’s all Marilyn Monroe style sexy 😉

    Personally I’d love to have a bit of padding behind – it’s the one area I’ve always been skinny. I try telling my fat to migrate but it won’t co-operate. Most of the time I feel like I’m sitting right on my “stink bones” (I heard Cletus the slack jawed yokel call them that one the Simpsons the other night and had to use it!).

  2. If he said giggle that would be very very bad but I agree with Gareth & Kathryn wiggle is good. You must have been walking with confidence and style! Definitely Marilyn Monroe!! I hear you on the butt area. I always feel I look great from the front and then I turn around…

  3. Wiggle is definitely good! Denise Austin says often in her walking workouts, “C’mon! Lets see a wiggle in that walk!” But, like you, if someone said to me, ‘there’s a wiggle in your walk!’, wiggle is one letter away from ‘jiggle’, and I would’ve felt just as horrified. So there you go, both side of the coin 🙂

    And like EllenK, I think I look all right front on, and then I turn to the side and see my rock hard abs. Eeesh. >_<

  4. Surely you know Chantilly Lace, the 1950s rock ‘n roll song:

    Chantilly lace and a prety face
    A pony tail hanging down
    A wiggle in the walk
    A giggle in the talk
    Lord! makes the world go ’round…

    etc.

  5. Happy 1 pounder!!!
    1 pound is an excellent achievement!
    I have a HUGE ass, and I’ve never triep spinning, I think I will due to what you said. Thanx

  6. 400g to go! 400 EENSY TEENSY GRAMS untill you are a 70’s chick!

    Go Shauny Go. Get that butt a jigglin and a wigglin and enjoy being back at the gym. NJ

  7. Hey, wiggle is definitely cool. Listen to that wise husband of yours!

    Sometimes I get a bit worried that you are reading my mind – I was thinking about unpleasant body surprise myself yesterday. Beckie posted a picture a while ago of a ‘curvy’ woman looking in the mirror and the reflection being trim and slim. I totally understood that because I have a picture in my mind of myself that doesn’t look too bad. I look down and sometimes feel quite pleased. Face on in the mirror isn’t so good but okay. Yesterday I caught sight of myself in a window reflection and was shocked by the side on view. I wanted to cry. Most of the time I am blissfully unaware of the reality of my body and get genuinely shocked when I catch a glimpse of it.

    I’ve been munching chocolate this week (hormones) but I think I’m gaining control again.

    Good luck with the new gym – I do think it makes all the difference.

  8. “Must be jelly, because jam don’t shake like that”

    This is the phrase oft repeated by my mother and grandmother in reference to both my bum, and my mum’s.

    I agree with Gareth, wiggle is (apparantly) sexy.

  9. I’ll have to stick with your first assessment: I don’t think WIGGLE is a compliment!

    Use it to motivate at the new gym! Congrats on the 1 lb down!

  10. definately not a bad thing, seriously, wiggle is no where near close to jiggle or wobble or any other words used to describe flab.

    i have to tell you, other people DON’T see what you think are your flaws.

    my many bloke friends have told me over and over again, we don’t even notice these things, then the girls go and point them out, hey does my butt look big, can you see my cellulite… let’s face it, most men are happy to have a naked woman in front of them, they ain’t looking for the “bad” bits as we see them…

    not that the hare was picturing you naked or anything, just thought it would be good to remember that others don’t look so critically on you as you would assume…

    in fact Shauna, the recent pics of you are so good there is no way anyone would even consider you to be overweight or jiggly or wobbly… you’re looking really thin (i also ready pussy cat) so just be happy with the fact that you look fabulous, the rest will come in time!

  11. Hi Shauna,
    I just started going to the gym myself last week, with DB though so no luck even though I would love a ladies only gym (mostly because I want to hide)

    I have a bit of the same issue as Sandra where I am ok with my body image unless I see myself in a mirror or other reflection, only we are talking any view here, facial, front on, side on and heaven forbid the rear. It has the instantaneous effect of bringing tears to my eyes every time 🙁

  12. Well, at least your not a WOMBLE any more. That was we named 3 very overweight people who were in front of us when we boarded the ferry from Stockholm to Tallinn last Monday. And buffets are dangerous when trying to lose weight. Do lots of walking, Shauna, but take care of the knees. Enjoy what’s left of summer.

  13. Next time some nutter starts skipping alongside you on the street, just punch him on the nose. While he’s reeling on the ground, you’ll have plenty of time to ask him if wiggle is a good or bad things..

  14. I concur. Wiggle is sexy. Especially if covered with a Yellow, Red, Purple, or Blue Skivvy LOL.

  15. After spending a week in Pitlochry(at the Moulin).. names I can neither spell or pronounce properly with my Aussie accent…I can well appreciate your fear of the Scottish breakfast. Fortunately I love porridge to which I, untraditionally, added fresh, canned or dried fruit and found some lite milk. I avoided the scallop(deep fried potato) looking thingies which I must admit I have never associated with breakfast but with sneaking to the takeaway at school lunch. Scottish fare was very tempting and I did wonder how Banoffi pie became the national dish. To compensate I made my reluctant Northern Irish partner go for long, long walks. ‘Only a couple of k!’
    Good luck with your new gym. My gym has a ladies only area and it is terrific, a great supportive atmosphere.

  16. This story put a smile on my face. I’ve gotten a few of those types of comments recently, and I am determined to see them as compliments.

    You know, so I don’t go face down in a pint of ice cream 😉

  17. Personally, I think that if the Hare thought your butt was hugely hideous, he would have ignored you, not yelled after you in a crowd! He was diggin’ your wigglin’!