Juicy Juicy Green Grass

On Tuesday afternoon I trekked through the rain to the physio's office. I sat in the waiting room and read a surprisingly current issue of an interiors magazine. I'd been absorbed in all the festive things you can do with pine cones for about twenty minutes when one of the therapists came out and asked if I had an appointment.

"Yes, I'm here to see Mr P at 5.30."

"Mr P is out of the country until Thursday."

"Thursday?"

"Yes…"

"Oh… so he is!"

I'd looked at my diary Tuesday morning, right where it said in big letters PHYSIO 5.30PM in the Thursday space, but closed the diary as I thought, "Righto, physio today."

So I thanked her politely and confirmed my Thursday appointment. Then I stomped towards home in the rain, kicking at leaves, just bloody annoyed at myself. That infuriating, sputtering, pointless outrage when something small but annoying has happened and it's entirely your own fault. Rah rah rah.

And then a thought popped into my head. "Do you know what would make you feel better right now? Chocolate. Go to the shop and buy some CHOCOLATE."

All of a sudden all I could think was chocolatechocolatechocolate. Specifically, a Marks & Spencer Turkish Delight bar. I could feel the little serrations at the edge of the wrapper, the sigh of the paper as you peel it back. And I could feel the chocolate crack as I bit in, my teeth sinking into the pillowy innards; the chocolaty rosy scent in my nostrils.

Whoa. I was shocked by the automatic logic of my brain. Feel cranky = Need Chocolate. The thought just popped up instantly, vivid and urgent; almost a physical reaction. The rational part of me knew I had been successfully counting calories all week and had no intention of blowing it with a choccie bar, but I was surprised that on some level there still lurks this part of me that associates any sort of unpleasant emotion with shoving down something sweet.

Is there any way to stop that kind of reaction? I don't think so. I think it's what you do next that counts. I went home and we made this Spinach Cannelloni as planned. And it tasted alright, except for the spinach part. It was frozen spinach, which I've used a million times for Spinach and Feta pie, but that night it was just a big tangled, tasteless mess.

I wanted to see if Gareth would dare agree with me. "What did you think of that?"

"It was alright. It was… very green."

"Ah ha! I knew it."

"It was kind of chewy. Which would be okay… if I was a cow!" he cackled.

His stomach was growling wildly as we drifted off to sleep later.

"What the hell is going on in there?"

"It's all that grass digesting in my multiple bovine stomachs. I think it's up the fourth one now."

. . .

So, I am staying the hell off the scales for now. Things are going sooo swimmingly this week! I am happily sticking to my plans and eating beautifully so why mess that up by getting on the scale? I just don't want to deal with it for awhile. The numbers have been screwing with my head far too much lately. I know I am doing well and I am happy to gauge my progress by the fit of my trousers for the next wee while. I will get on the first Monday in December and report back to you then. Hurrah!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google Plus
  • StumbleUpon
  • RSS
  • Email

16 thoughts on “Juicy Juicy Green Grass

  1. omgomgomgomgomg to Feeling Cranky = Need Chocolate; I respond exactly the same way to annoying-but-entirely-my-fault events, like missing my bus 5 times one afternoon and then getting so frustrated that next thing you know I’m in Starbucks ordering a Gingerbread Frappuccino with Whipped Cream thank you please very much bye.

    Its funny how frozen spinach seems to be like that – sometimes I’ve tried to use it here and there and it’ll be perfect in some dishes, but stringy and chewy in others. Aren’t these things supposed to INCREASE convenience?

    I don’t know if you got my email, but I had a dream where I threw you out of my house. Yeah I know. wtf.

    Keep up the good work! πŸ˜€

  2. Overwhelming feeling on reading this: I am SO glad it isn’t just me who does that kind of thing with appointments. (I’d probably have forgotten to go on Thursday, too.)

    Well done for beating the chocolate.

  3. I have been reading your blog for a while. When i first discovered it I spent 2 days reading all your old archives as I am so inspired by you! I have lost 20 kg’s on WW and got to goal, but have put on 6.5 in the last 12 months so I am back again. I am really inspired that we both have the same amount to lose!!!

    You really bring the issues out – you are so real, raw and connect to how it really is!

    Thanks!!
    Kel

  4. Omg, those kinds of things are so annoying. I went to the movies on Monday and realised I’d left my wallet at home. At least I couldn’t take solace in chocolate cos I had no money to buy any.

  5. I had spinach canneloni this week too but I used fresh spinach from my garden. Talk about chewy! But still very nice and I love the feeling that I am eating a food that was in the ground an hour ago. NJ

  6. I do the same with savoury stuff. I wonder if its because we were all given food to pacify us at emotional times when we were kids.

    I’ve had that problem with with frozen spinach then I found out that there’s two kinds of frozen spinach – chopped and leaf – chopped is better to go in that kind of recipe but leaf is best if you are going to eat it just as a green veg (if you see what I mean!)

  7. I, too, am staying off the scales until the first Monday in December, and for exactly the same reasons you are. I feel so smart! Heh. I hate-hate-hate seeing the “wrong” number and having my day be ruined. I wish I could train my mind to simply look at the number as information, instead of judgment.

  8. Congrats to you for staying away from the chocolate….it totally IS what you do about the cravings.

    Sometimes at night, I will be lying in bed watching a show and immediately go to some sweet substance that I just HAVE to eat….I try to turn off the TV and go to bed at that time, LOL.

  9. On the upside, you got to sit down for 20mins in quiet surroundings and browse a mag, something that you probably haven’t done for a while!!

  10. I find that unexpressed or unresolved anger is absolutely THE chocolate trigger for me. Whether I’m mad at myself or someone else, if I don’t deal with it immediately I end up eating something I shouldn’t. The problem is, the chocolate craving hits with lightning speed, and the reasoning part of my brain is much slower. I can find myself iwth chocolate in my mouth before I even realize I’m angry!

    I use a lot of frozen spinach because it’s so economical – but I’ve started buying the chopped kind, not the whole leaves, for the reason you mention.

  11. marla, i think i will have to adopt your spinach tactics there…

    wilma, hellooo! the physio went okay. knee has calmed down a lot. just have to keep on truckin with the exercises πŸ™‚

  12. I have been lurking in your archives all week. Yes, started with the very first one and read all the way to current – not the comments – just your postings. Enjoyed seeing you β€œshrink in body and grow in spirit”.

    We started at very different weights, are from different sides of the world, and are different ages (215lbs, USA, 45) – but I identify with SO MANY things that you talked about.

    Chin up – I had surgery last year and could not do ANY exercise of any kind from the first week in November until the first week in February – so I know (partly) what you are going through with your knee. It took two months of solid effort to get my muscles going again.

    I am down to the last 15 pounds to loose too (goal is 140 and I am right around 153-5 now) and I agree that the last IS the hardest – each half pound is now a real battle.

    I am glad to read that you are working on a book – I think that you will do very well with it – you have a nice, light touch with your writing – easy to read, easy to relate to, good mixture of subjects while staying very realistic. I realize that none of us in blog world can tell every detail – things are sometimes just too hard to explain – but you do a good job of filling in the details and making your life seem well rounded and honest.

    Thank you for writing – thank you for sharing – I had a tough week this week and you helped a lot.

  13. (Forgive me… I’m just now dicovering these blog entries!)

    Not fair! I just looked on the WW US site for spinach cannelloni, and the US version (link to weightwatchers.com) is 7 points per serving (and there’s no pretty picture of the dish, either)! I guess Quark has that many less fat grams, or more fiber, or something. *sigh*

    Oh, frozen spinach subs well for collard greens in the slow cooker recipe I have for hoppin’ john (link to recipezaar.com). Just don’t be surprised if you’re in the loo a lot after you eat it, unless your body’s used to all that iron!