Pleasures of the Flesh

Gareth is working up yonder in the Shetland Islands tonight so I took the opportunity to eat animals for dinner.

Dr G’s not a militant vegetarian; it doesn’t bother him if I eat meat. I could wear a steak for a hat and play drums on his lovely bald head with chicken legs and he wouldn’t freak out at all. But I too lead the vegetarian life most of the time coz I’m lazy and find it much quicker to make veggie food now. I still love me some flesh, but it’s more of a sometimes food. I kind of play it by ear – every week or so my body suddenly screams, "I NEED FISH!" so I’ll eat some. And then every month or two, out of the blue, I find myself daydreaming about bacon. And/or burgers.

Thus when Dr G got the call to Shetland I said, "Yessss! Flesh night. I mean… dang, you’re going?"

I went hunting in my lunch hour today, pacing between the butcher and the supermarkets over and over, unable to decide. So many animals! So many parts! How do I cook ‘em? Could I be arsed chopping ‘em up? It suddenly seemed like an awful lot of work and dirty dishes. In the end I bought two lamb burgers stuffed with feta. I put them in the oven along with a potato hacked into wedges. Then I made a wee salad with tomato and peppers and cucumber and oregano; in other words Greek salad without the really good bits. I plonked the salad and the wedges and a burger on a deathbed of baby spinach. You know the kind of spinach, where you spend five minutes picking out the mush and convincing yourself the rest is edible.

The verdict: Very tasty. Very filling. And strange! Flesh has so much more going on than a bean, I have to say. I enjoyed the texture. I’d also forgotten how meat has juices. Beans don’t ooze! Flesh seems to hang around in your mouth for longer. It keeps talking to you, whereas the beans sort of whoosh on down.

But looking at that mucky oven tray, I think meat shall remain a sometimes food. Beans are much tidier specimens. And they don’t give me the weighed down feeling I have right now, five hours later. Maybe it’s the wee ghost of a lamb sitting in my stomach… Whyyy? Why did you do this to me?

Hush little lamb! I’m still going to eat your leftover brother for lunch tomorrow.

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32 thoughts on “Pleasures of the Flesh

  1. I’ve mostly given up on red meat and chicken, but fish is just plain delicious.

    Most meat I eat is in the form of Sushi.

  2. I think that even if Dr. G didn’t freak out if you wore a steak hat & played drums on his head with chicken legs, that’s something you should keep to yourself. :)

    I rarely eat red meat. And if I do, it’s lamb or bison. The architect & I are big poultry eaters, although he’s trying to make me into a fish eater. It’s hard, hard work.

    Although now I want lamb stuffed w/ feta. Drool.

  3. Haha, you’ve sent me to bed tonight with a smile on my face!! The mental image of you in a steak hat playing chicken drums on Dr G’s head is truley mental!! haha…

    I hope you enjoy your little lamb tomorrow, I love lamb, but I dont have it much, tend to stick to fish & chicken more. Saying that, I ordered lamb with my Tesco order tonight, so I may have some myself tomorrow!!

    Hope you dont get lonley tonight, this is a perfect night for freshly laundered sheets on the bed, a shower before climbing in and spreading out!! It’s a rare treat to get the bed to myself these days, I tend to make the most of it :o)

  4. Ha, I’m getting visions of the “Lisa is a vegetarian” ep of the Simpsons… “don’t e-e-eat me, Lisa”.

    Meat is awesome, but I don’t really know cuts of meat either. I just go for mince or stir fry strips.

  5. I bet that was what Billy Idol was talking about — dreaming of a lovely bacon burger when his girl was out of town.

    (I have only visited Scotland, but I sort of envy you living there.)

  6. Hi DG. I have read your book and loved it very much. Thanks.
    I grew up a vegetarian, but have eaten meat since I was married. I enjoy the best of both worlds now. The best bit is that my husband of 20 years does the cooking of meat, as I can’t bear to touch it when it’s raw! And I am also pretty particular about the quality – like I won’t touch weird bits that I can’t identify or chewy bits that won’t chew properly or stringy bits or fatty bits. It has to be lean, lean, lean :)

  7. Just a blast from your Aussie past. We’re having crumbed cutlets for tea. My family’s fave food. Yum!

  8. How I would love to be on the shetland islands right now! puffins and ponies what more could you want! i’m jealous of Dr G…

    you didn’t have to count lambs to sleep did you!?!

  9. I am with you on the meat thing…. defo a sometimes food. And it makes number 2′s waaaaaay more smelly than normal.
    Ok, TMI.
    S X

  10. Bluerk!! Meat! No thanks, its veggie food for me, sadly means I eat waaaay too much cheese though !
    My family are all meat eaters and think nothing of looking at the Lambs playing in the field then eating lamb for tea!

  11. Mmmm…lamb burgers with feta sound delish! I’m like you – mostly vegetarian, love beans and chickpeas and such, but there really isn’t anything quite the same as the taste of meat or the smell of an occasional steak cooking on the barbie!

  12. This was just too funny for words.

    I’m an unapologetic meat eater myself, but I just can’t do lamb. Or baby cows. Or rabbit . . . .

    OK, so maybe I’m a spineless meat eater.

  13. Shauna, I found that putting baking paper under whatever you are baking, makes cleaning up so much easier. Hugs from Tartu.

  14. Aaaah meat! Roast vegetables are delicious. Vegetables roasted in the same pan with the joint of meat are just a form of heaven. A subtle, yet definite difference. One I mustn’t remind myself of too often.

  15. ROFL-I loved the image of you in a meat hat or banging your boy’s head with chicken.

    My husband is a huuuge meat eater (he belongs to a “meat club”, nuff said) but he won’t eat lamb. His lame excuse is “it tastes like wool”. Therefore, I rarely eat lamb, and am now coveting your lamb burgers with feta in a major way!!

  16. I spent easter in Budapest, and noticed to my surprise and joy that they are carrying your book at Bestsellers. I know its off topic, but I was so excited I had to share!

  17. Yikes! I don’t eat meat, and I’m glad my husband (a meat eater) isn’t so graphic with the flesh jokes! That entry was pretty gross, and I’m hardly what you would call militant. I just appreciate his sensitivity to my beliefs.

  18. I can’t believe I’m looking at your blog halfway through your book-surely this is cheating?? I love it though and I can’t put it down! :)

  19. I’m afraid I would DIE without some sort of meat on my plate. I don’t eat lamb, mainly because I find it too fatty, but I’ll eat chicken, fish, beef etc.

    If I had to go a week without a decent steak I’d crawl up into the fetal position and cry.

    Is that bad?

  20. I don’t mind a burger now and then, and I particularly love chicken, I do like the taste of lamb too, but I find it such a waste of money. By the time I cut out the fat I only get a mouthful of meat from a chop lol.

    I love vegetarian food because a lot of it has a lot less WW points/cals in it.

  21. Mushrooms! Mushrooms have juices!

    In fact, I know of two vegetarians who don’t like them because they’re too meat-like. (I don’t think they’re remotely meat-like myself, I hasten to add.)

    I’ve been vegetarian since I was twelve, chiefly because I didn’t like the texture of meat at all… well, taste is subjective.

  22. Oh dear! I wish you didn’t write so well! If I hadn’t been a vegetarian before reading this, I certainly would have been afterwards.

  23. Oh dear! I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I have great respect for Dr G’s veggie status. Also, Dr G often refers to meat as ‘animals’ so I picked up the phrase over the years. I guess I have no illusions about meat and where it comes from… having grown up on a farm. I hand-fed lambs abandoned by their mums and remembering being heartbroken when they went off to market. Wondering if we ate them ourselves, since we seemed to have lamb chops every bloody night!

  24. We seem to have gone the opposite way!

    We are definately of the carnivor pursuasion, although for some unfathomnable reason our Saturday evenings seem to have metamorphisised into Veggie Night – last week it was a delicious cashew and hazlenut loaf with chestnut stuffing, this week it was organic three bean chilli.

    Not sure I could be a full-time Veggie, but I always feel virtuous when I restrain from eating animals.

  25. Oh, don’t mind Isabelle and me. Isabelle isn’t offended, just squeamish. I can say this with absolute certainty, since I know she frequently cooks meat for the two carnivores she lives with, aka my dad and my brother.

  26. Hmm meat.

    I love vego food – I could happily have it for most meals, but I admit that I also love my meat. And like you if you haven’t had any for a while, your body will just start screaming (or whispering seductively) ‘steak! chops! fishy goodness!’

  27. Just love your sense of humour Shauna, as Huey Lewis once said “You crack me up” and thank you so much for your email it made my day especially since i was stuck indoors with my 2 kids and their chickenpox !!!