Moonwalk Training – 16 Miles

5 weeks to go

I was due a crappy training walk; things had been going far too smoothly!

Despite being well-fed and watered, my legs felt weak from mile three. The weather was strange too, humid and sticky like Sydney. Normally I just let my mind wander with the music and almost forget that I'm in motion, but on Saturday I was conscious of every step. I wanted to throw rocks at the runners who breezed past me, with their infuriating ability to run therefore covering distances in far shorter times.

I had to give up my usual obsession with Making Good Time and just plod. At mile eleven my calves seized up, it felt like I had tennis balls trapped under the skin. FLAMING tennis balls. With metal spikes. Mile twelve I considered taking a bus. Mile thirteen saw thunder and lightning. Then it poured rain for the last two. I thought about crawling on my hands and knees. When I finally got home I gingerly lowered myself onto the couch and did not move for three hours. Job done!

LipstickAnother Case for the Time-Traveling Fat Detective
More fodder for my forthcoming blockbuster novels – The Mysterious Case of the Abandoned Lipstick. It was broken and floating in a puddle – L'Oreal Colour Riche in a pale, aloof shade. Probably fell from the handbag of a leggy blonde as she was stuffed into a dark Mercedes. Or some litterbug that needs a smack in the chops.

Pace
Urgh. 16 miles (25.75km) in 04:20:46. Average pace 16:16 (3.38 mph)

Observation
If you decide to empty your bladder in a deserted bit of wilderness, for goodness' sake check for nettles before you crouch down.

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16 thoughts on “Moonwalk Training – 16 Miles

  1. Oh no!
    Hmmm…first shoes, then lipstick – is Gareth pplanting a full outfit along the way for you? Will a saucy dress be next?

  2. Is it weird that I had to check to see how many calories you burned on your walk? (about 1500 if you are wondering).

  3. Some days, training sessions just suck. There may not be an obvious reason, but your body and your mind just can’t get their shit together and the entire thing is HORRIBLE.

    I had one or two of those over the past couple of weeks. :o(

    Next time….

  4. The humid stickyness probably accounts for some of the lack of oomph – I hate that kind of weather. But you did it regardless, so good on you.

    Oh, and the special effects for my Second Born’s Pinocchio role? I asked him and he said (and I quote) “I go behind a bush and change my nose”. so there you go.

  5. Not the dreaded nettles-on-the-bum! 🙁 I remember doing that several times as a small child, probably one of the reasons I now have an irrational fear of public urination…

    Well done for staying the course, I fear I would have got that bus at mile 12…or possibly more like mile 4 in my case!

  6. All the more impressive that you finished it despite having… how did you phrase it? FLAMING tennis balls. With metal spikes.

  7. Girl, seriously, if you can look at a lipstick lying on the ground and come up with a whole backstory for it, you need to be writing novels!

    Now, on the balloon-bursting side, there is already a series of books about a fat detective, or at least a fat crime-solving person.
    link to members.aol.com

    Which is not to say you can’t do it too–apparently mystery stories are eternal.

  8. I ordered your book (last week) from the place that you listed with free shipping to the USA.

    It came yesterday.

    My kids were very excited to see it arrive. They had you confused with PastaQueen for a while (they had all watched her on TV on Mother’s Day) but have you two sorted out now.

    I am sure you don’t remember this – but I went back and read all your DG posts – back to the very beginning – a couple years ago.

    I think I remember sending you a note (when I finished) and encouraging you to go ahead and roll it all into a book – you had mentioned this in a couple posts – and I am so glad you did.

    Reading the book after having read ALL the posts before – was not at all like watching a “rerun”.

    There were parts that I did remember. Parts that I had totally forgotten. It was rather like sitting down and paging through a scrapbook of great vacation pictures – enjoying what you remembered and being so glad to be reminded of what you had forgotten.

    I remembered adoring your sister. And wishing I had one too. And never being sure of how to pronounce her name.

    This time – I only cried once – at the very beginning. And I think I cried a good many times when I read your blog postings.

    The biggest change in reading the book vs reading the original blog – was realizing how much I had changed since my original reading.

    This time, I could smile wisely as you worked through things – and could identify with them – without feeling overwhelmed or so emotional about/by my own journey.

    I nodded along – this time – like a wise old owl.

    My perspective and taking it all in stride – had come a long, long way.

  9. Hey everyone, cheers for your comments!

    Marla, but my fat detective can TIME TRAVEL so that’s my USP. Mwahahaha. 😛

    Vickie – Thanks very much for reading it and for your very thoughtful comments!

  10. Hey, did you know that you’re mentioned in a Washington Post article today about diet blogs?!?!

    link to washingtonpost.com

    I’m a Canberra girl who lived in Washington until recently. (I now live in Hong Kong.) Although I don’t know you, I’m so “proud” of you!

  11. Girl, you walked for over 4 hours. Holy cow, that is awesome. It’s tough to have such a rough time on a workout, but WOW you stuck with it. You are amazing! Great job! (Plus, the tough ones will prepare you for The Real Thing. By then, you’ll know you’ll be able to handle anything.)

  12. Ouch to the flaming tennis balls!:) But it wouldn’t be as rewarding if it wasn’t so tough, now would it?