Hammered

Leksvik Things that do not mix: jetlag, a mild fever and assembling Ikea furniture. It took me three hours to make Leksvik, a simple beside table. I put the drawer together upside down, twice. And I missed the mark when banging in those stupid little nails into the backing board thingo, so the inside of the shelves have spikes poking through like a medieval torture chamber. It will be a triumph if it doesn't collapse after three days.

"I hope this is entertaining for you," I grumbled to Gareth, who was sitting on the couch.

"Oh yes," he said, "It's always inspiring to watch someone struggle against the odds."

It's Business As Usual Monday – porridge for breakfast and kickboxing tonight. I just found out the next grading day is less than three weeks away. Eek! I desperately want to earn my Green belt so I can progress with my buddies, but I've only made it to one class since Christmas. Then again, if I swotted madly and got an A- for the Orange belt, how chronic would I have to be to actually fail the Green? If I can be cool, suppress the inner high school nerd and accept that the world won't collapse if I don't ace the test, I reckon I could swing a pass. So… not panicking yet. Calm blue ocean calm blue ocean!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google Plus
  • StumbleUpon
  • RSS
  • Email

33 thoughts on “Hammered

  1. Nice bit of furniture. Sounds a bit like my stereo cabinet-still going strong after 4 years even though it’s still missing brackets(?) on the back…

    As to the kickboxing all you need to do is kick butt. Gareth’s sounds like it’s handy:)

    TK

  2. DutchCat, no way! Maybe LEKSVIK is the new MALM? Do you have a Malm? We took a Malm survey in the office once and we were all Malmed to the max.

  3. DutchCat, no way! Maybe LEKSVIK is the new MALM? Do you have a Malm? We took a Malm survey in the office once and we were all Malmed to the max.

  4. right.
    I totally did NOT assume a different type of hammered when I saw the post title 🙂

    visualizing green belt in yer future,

    MizFit

  5. I too was picturing drinking and putting together small Swedish furniture. I will enjoy coming back to read about how you got your green belt and aced the test!

    🙂

  6. I can totally sympathise with the evils of flat pack furniture. However, I overestimated my DIY abilities and attempted to put together a wardrobe, chest of drawers and two bedside tables in one day – by myself. Not my finest moment but I was very glad I was by myself as the swearing and kicking of objects may not have gone down too well in company! Three years later and all of the above are still standing and in working order though!

  7. Hi Shauna!

    Just saw you “The Early Show”, you’re lovely and inspirational. Your story about the Ikea cabinet is so funny and relatable. All good wishes!

    Cheers,
    George Lyons

  8. I have Leksvik stuff in my front hall-a shoe rack and a coat rack/cubby hole thingy. I believe I made DH assemble it, because the last time we assembled Ikea furniture together (a bed in 1999) it was not a pretty picture (although alcohol may have helped! )

    I have faith in you that you can do the Green belt with your peeps. Go for it!

  9. Hahaha strangely no, we have been leksvik’ed to the max for years though, dvd racks, tv stand, coffee table and now bedside tables… they don’t make the coffee table any more but it’s a great set, feels sturdier compared to a lot of the ikea stuff… but heavy, a real pain in the arse to move for living room flail aerobics

  10. Hey why is Gareth not helping?

    I had one of the bigger kitchen units in the Leksvik range many moons ago and I had to take it apart for replacement. I am just glad I did not originally build it cause it would have been out the window before it was finished!

    I did though enjoy beating the crap out of it!

  11. Morning folks and Leksvik fans, thanks for all the comments…

    @TheLaddie – Dr G arrived home when I was already half done and let me carry on because it’s good for the development of my practical skills, hehe. He was kind enough to point out when I put the dowels in the wrong holes and had a shelf on the wrong way though.

    @George – thank you!

  12. Morning folks and Leksvik fans, thanks for all the comments…

    @TheLaddie – Dr G arrived home when I was already half done and let me carry on because it’s good for the development of my practical skills, hehe. He was kind enough to point out when I put the dowels in the wrong holes and had a shelf on the wrong way though.

    @George – thank you!

  13. I find those drawing-only Ikea directions a little confusing. I know they’re international but I’m a word person. I understand “fit tab A into slot B” better than a schematic drawing. It is a cute table.

  14. But its so worth it for IKEA furniture:)

    I have yet to assemble a dresser that has now been sitting in its box for a good couple weeks. Am dreading it. But I really need somewhere to put my clothes.

  15. Ah yes. I have the Leksvik buffet. I love the buffet, but that is 7 hours of my life that I can’t get back. I’m pretty sure that all of the hammering and moving around of heavy objects burned some calories. I had post ikea muscle soreness (PIMS) the next day.

    I’m glad to hear your kickboxing stories. I’ve started going to kickboxing classes at a martial arts school near my apartment, and I’m beginning to wonder what it might be like to actually spar with a person (rather than just wail on a bag.) I think I have some of the same concerns that you mentioned in an earlier post. Perhaps I will take a cue from you and give it a try. Best of luck with the Green!!!

  16. You were on this morning!

    What a nice job you did – very friendly and relaxed – if there was any inner quaking – it did not show at all.

    You looked great – Your posture and hair and body and face all looked great (and I loved the boots). Good choice of clothes – neckline looked very good on camera.

    PS – You were on with about 15 minutes left in the show – for anyone looking for you on their DVR.

  17. PIMS! Ahh I love it, nice one Sweetie Pie.

    @Jen – I agree, I think plain ol WORDS word work so much better!

    @Sagan – Good luck comrade. You could always pile the clothes on top of the box? At least they’d be off the floor 😛

    @Vickie – Thanks comrade. I was wondering if you would mention the clothes, you being a What Not To Wear aficionado. I’ve got footballer’s shoulders (built like a brick shithouse, as we say in Oz) so I’m a slave to v-necks 🙂

  18. PIMS! Ahh I love it, nice one Sweetie Pie.

    @Jen – I agree, I think plain ol WORDS word work so much better!

    @Sagan – Good luck comrade. You could always pile the clothes on top of the box? At least they’d be off the floor 😛

    @Vickie – Thanks comrade. I was wondering if you would mention the clothes, you being a What Not To Wear aficionado. I’ve got footballer’s shoulders (built like a brick shithouse, as we say in Oz) so I’m a slave to v-necks 🙂

  19. I would practise heaps …… by kickboxing your smart arse husband every day for watching you struggle with IKEA!!

  20. The only way to put together Ikea furniture is hammered, or with the help of a toddler!!

    We have numerous bits of furniture from Ikea, and numerous pictures of the smallest member of the family taking note of the instructions and weilding the screwdriver quite productively!

    Sadly though, no Malm or Leksvik, lots of Trofast storage and more recently a very funky Egg Chair aka “IKEA PS LÖMSK”

  21. If I had left my wife to struggle on her own building furniture I would have had to hide behind the couch to avoid getting hammered myself.

  22. Hi Shauna!

    Just saw your story featured on Yahoo! I love your blog…and will be a regular on it from now on. All the best!

    AM

  23. Well done on the interview Shauna!! I have been a reader of your blog since approx 2003 or 2004… not exactly sure on that but it seems like a life time ago. I am just so happy for you and hope that your book goes from strength to strength. After reading your book I think your lovely sister deserves a little credit too – she really was a good support for you.

    Congratulations again on all your success 🙂

  24. Hey Shauna

    You survived IKEA. Awesome. We just did IKEA wardrobes and had to recruit our neighbour because our floors slope away. I think our marriage might not have survived if we hadn’t had his help!!

    Re: the next grading…I saw you on a Sky Real Lives programme (Anne Diamond) and you really rocked in that gym!!! I finally got to appreciate what the kickboxing thang is all about. It looks really really good.

    You can do it!!! You soooo can. Go Shauna!!!

  25. Yeah, I try to avoid assembling anything if I can help it…if there’s a pay to have it assembled option, I’m sooo there…heck I don’t even do my own laundry…I love New York…

    I know you’ll kick kickboxing butt…you can totally get your Green…besides it’s such a nice color on us, so you’re just going to have to get this much needed karate accessory for that lovely little white outfit…do ya’ll even wear those little white outits in kickboxing? Shows you how much I know. Heh.

    xo,
    -Bex

  26. Hey, we have a Leksvik bed and the big chest of drawers! (I would like to get a little bedside table too, but J is happy with his 70s chipboard number.)

    I will admit I like the wordless diagrams. What can I say? I’m a visual learner.

    Good luck with the kickboxing test – I’m sure you will cruise through.