Telly Report

The night before I laid out my outfit three different ways. First in a long line across the hotel room, in correct order of putting-on-ness. Then in alphabetical order. Then finally draped over a chair in formation, like I'd been flattened by a truck – dress splayed, tights dangling beneath, boots waiting below, bra and knickers in the right spot; I even balanced the earrings on the top of the chair. Just in case I couldn't remember how to get dressed by the time morning rolled round.

Yes, yes, the nerves again. I know you long-time visitors are bloody sick of hearing about them, but I still get frazzled before Big Unknown Events. I learned from the kickboxing grading that being ultra-prepared helps, so I slept better knowing that the clothes were in position and there were two alarm clocks and a wake-up call keeping them company.

I woke up by myself at the crack of dawn. Got dressed and then it was 6.15. Two hours to kill before I was due at CBS. I perched on the edge of the bed and practiced not slouching. All the different advice I'd been given played on a loop. Be calm. Enjoy yourself. Don't say anything stuuuupid!

Finally it was time to go and I walked with Christine the Most Excellent Publicist to the CBS studios, past the snow and stinky horses at the bottom of Central Park. We were taken to the Green Room, which was actually blue. It was full of televisions and coffee and food but I decided it would be best to not touch anything, knowing my tendency to scatter breakfasts on my chest. 

Greenroom

We chatted with the charming Green Room man then the makeup wizards spruced me up in three minutes flat…. zing! Then I paced and wrung my hands and let the terror and excitement buzz through me. Then the lovely producer arrived to go through the segment and I asked many panicky questions. 

"I can do a mock interview right now if you like," she offered, perhaps smelling my amateurism. But I said we'd best not, because if I answered questions now I'd use up all my brain juice and have no words left for the real thing!

The rest of it is a blur. It's like your wedding day, without the booze. I remember feeling like a goose for wearing a dress. If you wear a top and a skirt or trousers you can discreetly pull the microphone up the front of your top then attach the big lumpy battery thingo at the back on your waistband. But with the frock I had to dive right under it to pull the wee mic through, then they pulled the cord behind me and hooked it onto the belt of my dress, which meant I had walk across the set with the dress all hitched up in back, like when you see some lady come out of the loo in a restaurant and she hasn't pulled her skirt down properly and everyone whispers, Dude, poor lady's got her skirt tucked in her knickers. Shame job, as we used to say at my high school. Shame job! This was American Telly and they no doubt saw dress-wearing ninnies all the time, but still, thank goodness for 60 denier tights.

I sat down on the hot seat and looked around. It was so unreal. I wanted to laugh but stuck with shaking like the proverbial shitting dog. There was a teleprompter and cameras and bigass microphones and people with headsets and now a dainty lady sitting across from me, smiling in a calm and reassuring manner. This was Maggie Rodriguez, the anchor. We chatted for a few seconds and then she cleared her throat. Holy crap this is happening what's her name again what's MY name? Concentrate, concentrate

She asked me a question and I said something and my heart went brrrrrrrrrrrrt and I tried to tune out everything but her voice. I was full of wit and juicy soundbites the night before, in the hotel bathroom talking to myself in the hotel mirror – interview style, not Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver style. The real effort felt fine, competent with no real clangers. I was just getting into it when Maggie reached out to shake my hand.

I untangled the mic and restored my dress to the correct position. Job done, baby! Time to breathe again!

My only regret is that aside from the Green Room pic, I forgot to get photographic proof of the occasion. I walked back up to the CBS building right before I left for the airport and took some pictures through the window while some dude rolled his eyes at me. It's mostly a reflection of the Crate & Barrel store across the street but you can sort of see the spot. Top class!

Chair

I've been a rubbish blogger this week as I attempt get back into the swing of things at work and training, but wanted to say thank you for your comments and emails! Also a huuuuge thank you again to Christine and Pam and Jeanette and all the HarperCollins vixens for everything you've done for the ol DG book. You rawk!

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31 thoughts on “Telly Report

  1. btw i realise this is the LAMEST ENTRY TITLE EVAH but it is 11.30pm and i’ve totally violated my curfew, hopefully my brain will be wkg tomororw 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. btw i realise this is the LAMEST ENTRY TITLE EVAH but it is 11.30pm and i’ve totally violated my curfew, hopefully my brain will be wkg tomororw 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. Sweetheart, you were great. Very poised. And, you looked lovely too. Remember, in the USA redheads are not viewed the same way as in the UK. (Your previous blog entry about your big head) Here they are sexy and alluring. Hope Harper Collins realizes what big deal you are and prints lot of books. It’s such a bother when the bookstore runs out.

    Yours,

    Belle

  4. From one Aussie Small Town Chick to another…. YOU ROCK! Love the back story to the CBS clip, I watched again…. nope, can’t tell you’re nervous.

  5. Yeah, you were so calm and collected, absolutely no nervousness showed through.
    Most excellent.

  6. Are you kidding? You were an awesome possum, woman!

    I have given up on the idea of having Nicole Kidman play you in the movie version of your life. You should take the role!

  7. OMG, shame job! We said that in NZ as well and then it got shortened to just shame. And then the shame got elongated to shaaaaaaaammmmmeeeeeee! You crack me up with the old school sayings lol!

    I thought you did great on TV, you rocked it Shauna!

  8. Could not tell for a moment that you were nervous. You seemed confident, calm and collected. Congratulations–I’m sure there will be many more interviews to come!

  9. I’m still displaying your book, cover out instead of spine out, every where I go. Everyone–please do the same wherever you are.

    I missed the spot, can you post a video from CBS? I bet you were brilliant!!!!

    TV is hard. I used to do a ton of local spots for my business (no where near the national coverage you just did!!). I remember getting mic’s placed by letcherous weirdos, who seem to have no other purpose, but to reach up women’s blouses. By the end of my tv career, I just grabbed the mic and said, “I’ll figure it out THANK YOU.”

  10. It sounds awesome! I may be the only American without television. And I was at the gym at 8 AM. Please post a link? 🙂

    (You know, once I almost missed a fencing competition (the NCAA regionals; no small thing) because my alarm did NOT go off. Since then, I set 2 radios and my cell phone for anything (first day of class, job interview, travel). Occasionally, I enlist my father to call me just in case because he is a machine who requires minimal amounts of sleep and is therefore usually up at ungodly early hours of the morning. I totally understand sleeping better when everything’s in place, and you have 3 alarms!)

  11. DG….as everyone is so happy about your boots…have you heard U2s new release,, its about “Sexy Boots” – they’ve obviously heard about you!! F

  12. Well I’ve just discovered you because I’m trying to lose weight and was hunting down diet-inspiration blogs. I tell you what, I’m going to run right out and buy your book!!

    I watched the little clip of your interview and I’m so proud of you! I never, ever would have suspected you were even the slightest bit nervous. You handled yourself with such grace – you made it look EASY!

    Thanks for being an inspiration!

  13. Aw go you! That’s super exciting. And its pretty cute that even though you’re all famous and such you still get nervous:D

  14. Well done Shauna. Your just going from strength to strength girl. Loved the interview and you dun good. But did I hear a wee accent coming through? 😉

  15. I can see why that would be a nerve-wracking experience! But you didn’t look nervous AT ALL in your interview. Great job! 🙂

  16. You did wonderful (who wouldn’t be nervous?) and your outfit looked fabulous! A Red head in a black dress and snazzy books- that is very hot over here in the US. Smashing job!

  17. Good Job, I have been struggling with weight for a long time. I am trying to change my lifestyle rather than my diet and it seems to be working.