Dry Your Eyes

The fever is giving me weird dreams. Last night I played tennis against World #2 Andy Murray. The court was made of dirt – not nice Roland Garros clay; more outback Australia dust. Andy was whipping my arse and I couldn't figure out why, until I looked down to see I was playing not with a tennis racquet but a TEASPOON.

"It's not fair," I whined, "How'm I supposed to beat you with a teaspoon?"

"That's the least of your worries!" said Andy Murray with great contempt, "DRY YER EYES!"

That's another brilliant phrase picked up in the UK. Try it next time someone is being a big moany wussypants. Summon as much disdain as possible as you sneer, "Ahh, dry your eyes!"

Tennis

I went to the doctor today who said I might feel shit for another couple of weeks, which isn't handy with our kickboxing grading on Sunday. Might need to see if I can postpone. Anyway, at least it's definitely not swine flu!

Now back to bed. Bon weekend, comrades!

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28 thoughts on “Dry Your Eyes

  1. Hilarious!! I love to hear about peoples’ wackadoodle dreams. Makes me feel better when I dream about crazy stuff myself. 🙂

    I’m lovin’ the “Dry yer eyes” comeback, though I think Mr. Murray was waaaay out of line using it in this context. Clearly, the odds were stacked against you and it WASN’T fair!!

  2. It was a night for crazy dreams, I had one where I was teaching a swimming class then this alien tiger thing with HUGE claws came out of the pool and started slicing up everyone and I had to fend it off with a tiny locker door! Ahhh!

    so that’s my first post ever on your blog! I promise I’m not as creepy as that dream may make me appear to be o_O

  3. Can I just say that the pic has made my entire day? That visual will stick with me the rest of the afternoon. I wish my dreams were more interesting…

  4. Shauna,

    Hope you feel better soon. I wanted to tell you that I mentioned your blog on mine. Anayway, I just wanted you to know that your book saved my life. Ok I might be exaggerating, but it got me blogging and looking at loosing weight in a new way. I have lost around 50 lbs since I bought the book in January.

    Love your blog, thanks for letting me peek at your life.

  5. Oh, poor you with The Cold. In the summer, too. With all this heat and… well possibly not. But at least it’s not The Flu?

    Drying your nose might be more appropriate?

    I love your blogs about Scotland’s eccentricities of language and otherwise.

    I was at a presentation by an Important Person yesterday and he said, among other stupidities, “If I was me…”.

    ?

  6. Oh hilarious! And I love that you made the effort to photoshop it all together… or do your dreams have a print function?

    I hope you feel better ASAP! x

    Oh and instead of DRY YER EYES… my husband just opens up a can of harden the f*ck up. Nice. 😛

  7. another couple WEEKS?!?!?!

    you poor thing!

    instead of saying dry your eyes – a good cry might make you feel better. . .hope that he is wrong and that you feel better next week! But don’t overdo – take care of yourself.

  8. I love how you comment on the fact that Andy Murray was beating you because you only had a teaspoon…I mean, if you’d had a proper racquet you’d have tottally kicked his arse!!! hehe 😉

  9. CHEERS groovers!

    @Philippa – Bwahhaha! I often have athletic delusions in my sleep. I once swam in a 4x100m Olympic relay with Ian Thorpe. link to pussycat.shauny.org

    @fat mum slim – LOVE harden the f*ck up! doesn’t seem to work as well over here, it’s all in the Oz accent 🙂

    @D – hey thanks very much! and well done on your kickarse efforts!

    @Carolyn – hey i like weird comments… thanks! much better than people who just write NICE BLOG then pimp diet pills and never return 🙂

  10. Oh bless your little delusional head! I work in mental health…we have pills for that, lmao!!

  11. Awesome bit of photoshop there 🙂 I think Andy Murray was very rude! I dunno, I think telling my whiny crybaby wussypants self to dry yer eyes would probably end with me sitting down on the footpath and refusing to move. Of course, I have to carry a big can of HTFU around with me these days.

  12. So glad that the sniffles have not meant that you’ve lost your sense of humour. Love, love, love the imagery for this post.

    But every time I see/hear that phrase – dry your eyes – I think of that Streets track and now it won’t leave my head.

    Hope you haven’t got the piggy flu; have you? Two weeks for a cold seems an awfully long time, even in bonny Scotland. I’ve got my own flu-lite thang going on so am with you in sympathy. And thanks for the little link, too. : )

    Hope you are on the Hot Toddy regime by now.

    Big kiss and get well soon.

  13. Crazy dreams come from either a fever or eating cheese (or chocolate)before bedtime… : ).

  14. You couldn’t photoshop my dream about being on a cruise ship with Bananarama in full 80’s gear (me, as well as them) could you? I’m rubbish with technology but would really like to see that!

  15. Shauna
    I’ve just found your blog again after reading your book last year and loving it. I’ve just re-read it TWICE in the last week and you’re such an inspiration to me. This last two times around everything you wrote made so much more sense and hit home even more than the first time.
    And you’ve inspired me so much that I’ve just started my own blog today. I’m scared at the moment as I really don’t want people I know being able to read it and know it’s me, but on the other hand I want other people trying to lose weight to be able to read and comment if they wish, so I hope I’ve set it up right lol.
    I just hope I can achieve a fraction of what you have.

  16. I knew there was a reason I don’t like him…

    Anyway, hope you feel better soon. I am currently ignoring a stuffy nose and scratchy throat in the hopes that this will be enough to make it go away!

  17. Hey Shauna,
    Love your blog! I’m always having the craziest dreams too! I looked up what yours might mean- I couldn’t find teaspoon, but spoon by itself had to do with needing nourishment (shocking since your sick right:) and tennis had to do with a conflicting problem that your going back and forth with and can’t seem to make a decision about it. Sometimes this stuff makes sense other times it just means you’re sick and your brain is hallucinating:) In either case I thought you’d enjoy knowing.

  18. MOrning all 🙂

    @Paige – Hey thanks! That interpretation makes quite a lot of sense.

    @L – Hellooooo! Thanks for stopping by and for the kind words… good luck with your foray into blogging… don’t be afraid, everyone’s pretty kind out there!

  19. Ok, I’m a few days late, but just had to say, I actualy cackled out loud when I saw that pic 😀 That is all 😛

  20. When i first saw the picture, I was having a hard type figuring it out what is it about. Then i read your post and I actually thought you did play tennis with Andy Murray!! hahaha. Good one!

  21. I hadn’t heard “dry your eyes” but I’ve been living in Ireland about as long as you’ve been in Scotland and here they say “get off the cross” if you are being a martyr… I like it, it’s slightly aetheistic but you need to be a lapsed catholic to get the full impact…