Ranting Orangutan follow-up

Hello dear groovers! I just wanted to follow up on Friday's Ranting Orangutan entry. This time I know it's not the blues or a bad day or Seasonal Affective Disorder (unless it's of the quattro stagioni variety!). It's not about houses or hormones or a terrible secret illness. Nor is anyone having a torrid affair, but thank you for the theories and diagnoses! 🙂

Most of all I know it's not about weight or food. They are more like symptoms. Or what Martha Beck calls your designated issue – the go-to surface issue that you distract yourself with when you're trying to skirt around something deeper. I need to stop tinkering around the edges and face things I've buried for many years.

Blogging as therapy is sort of okay when you're 23 and completely anonymous with two readers. But when you're 32 (eep!) with your entire family, boss and landlord aware of your blog, it's not a wise or appropriate tactic. I need to seek proper help and open up to those closest to me.

I want to say a massive thank you for your comments and emails. Not just for the Ranting Orangutan, but all of your words and stories and support over the years. Thanks everyone who has plundered the archives or read that pesky book. I love this blogging lark and the community – the Two Fit Chicks podcast has reignited the love in a huge way and it feels good to be all giddy again!

So I'm not closing up shop on Dietgirl and I'll update on this topic, but I need to be a grown-up here and deal with things in a more quiet and mature way.

Shauna xxox

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29 thoughts on “Ranting Orangutan follow-up

  1. Funnily enough though, I really identify with what you seem to be feeling. Actually, it’s not funny at all but you know what I mean. I find it some comfort to know I’m not the only person who feels this way – although I wish you didn’t too, of course – and you articulate it so much better than I ever could.

    Hope we both feel better soon.

    lots of love
    Peridot x

  2. I just wanted to say thanks for being so honest in your book and blog (although I understand that you want to keep life a bit more private now). It was amazing to read about your weight issues and depression and know for the first time that I wasn’t alone in things I had been through. (The depression, not the losing half my body weight!)

    As a slight aside, I’d thoroughly recommend a new hobby that isn’t competitive, has nothing to do with weight, fitness, food, image etc. For me it’s knitting (hence my url) and there have been many studies now into how knitting can help depression. If you want any pointers let me know. x

  3. PLUNGES HEAD IN SAND.

    I totally think, at 40, that ranting is a good way to vent 🙂
    especially when we can laugh at ourselves whilst doing it.
    thats why the good Lord invented Skype 🙂 (although if youre me you turn OFF the video when yer ranting as it is not pretty…)

  4. Oh and I just wanted to add, ‘Two Fit Chicks’ is bloody brilliant! If anything is going to get me motivated to get fit and lose some excess pounds it’s that! I love how normal you girls both sound. I never listened to Jillian Michaels but I think she would have just scared me!

  5. I like that you let it all out (although I didn’t read all the comments and I don’t have to deal with the repercussions in the real world). Reminds us that although you did all those amazing things we admire you for, you’re still human, and we can still relate.

  6. hey thanks everyone 🙂

    i REALLY hope I don’t sound at all obnoxious like i am flouncing off in a huff or anything like that. It’s just that emptying the contents of your head in a public space with a comments box isn’t the best way to deal with something that is a wee bit more delicate and reflective. I love the hell out of this blog and you folks but… am i making any sense? finding it hard to express myself properly.

    flossie – love the idea of non food/fat hobby. new gardening hobby has been a revelation… food related but it’s healthy food 😛 still, i might give the knitting a crack, would be the best way to find a beanie for my GIANT NOGGIN’ 🙂

    hugs for Peridot xx

  7. I understand — there are times when I’ve posted something and some of the advice I got made me cringe or want to throw things. And a “hot” blog entry for me might elicit three or four comments. Can’t imagine what it’s like to have the whole world trying to crawl under your skin.

  8. This might not be the best time to post a comment, as I’m sure you’re tired of everyone commenting on everything, but I wanted you to know I think you’re wonderful. Ok, so I’ve never met you, and maybe I’d think you were a horrible meanie in real life, but I do love your blog and your posts. I love the fact you lay it all out there. I admire your courage. I hardly ever let my blog get past, “La la la. Life is great. La la la.” I’m sure that’s not healthy.

    That being said, maybe my blog is so happy because I use it as my escape. I use it as a chance to reflect on what makes me happy as opposed to what’s ailing me. I confront enough issues on a daily basis. Having a spot that doesn’t have any issues is fantastic.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is just do what you need to do. I’ll be here in the background trying to support you on whatever decisions you make. (Well, please don’t become a crack-whore. That’s a hard decision to support). You have a lot of supporters out there, both quiet and loud. We’ll all be there if you need anything.

  9. Hi, Shauna. I didn’t manage to comment for the other entry, but I totally get where you are with this. It may be one of the reasons I haven’t blogged much (at all) lately, even though my blog is anonymous. Anyway, the bright side, I suppose, is that you realize that there are other issues, and you aren’t blaming everything on food, on your body, etc. You’ve grown to the point where you’re able to see that there is something buried there. I know you’re not looking for affirmation, necessarily, but just know I – and the rest of your readers – are here for you. Take care of yourself, my friend.

  10. Hi, me again, I’ve just seen your response to my comment. You should have a look at knitty.com for inspiration, it’s a free quarterly online magazine with patterns, tutorials and articles. And there’s a shop called Knit 1 (K1) in Edinburgh that I’ve never been to but will go to one day! Any questions at all, ping me an email. I know I don’t comment often, but you’ve helped me with stuff on here so if I can return the favour in anywway I’d be happy to help. x

  11. One of the things I like most about your blog is your honesty. It can be good sometimes to whinge, rant and feel depressed — it’s only human.

  12. Shauna, I think that choosing to seek off-line help for managing your feelings IS being a grown-up in a quiet and mature way. You have established an unspoken pact with your readers to be honest about your weight and food issues, and we adore you for that, but that responsibility does not extend to your personal issues. Remember your analogy about peeling the onion in your book? Perhaps it is just time to get down to another layer of the onion, and you need a different tool to do it.

  13. It’s okay. Thanks for being so brave in the past, and being so grown up now to know what you need to do.

    Good luck!

  14. Thanks for being so open, and hurray to you for taking care of yourself. Sending lots of support and courage to you via internetty brainwaves. Good luck!

  15. Everyone has down days. Your post was just showing us that even the great and powerful Dietgirl isn’t perfect, which makes us love you more. Hope things are looking up for ya! 😉

  16. OMG she’s ditching dietgirl!, was what I was thinking while reading your latest entry. Pfff, you gave me a scare! I totally understand your need for a bit more privacy but I would not want to miss your writing altogether and I’m guessing neither would you.

    If knitting doesn’t work out for you try quilting. Relaxing and you end up with a pretty blanket ;-).

    All the best.

  17. Bravo.

    I’ve just started blogging again due to my relationship breaking up and I’m really aware of the unhealthy side of it: confiding in a website and strangers as an avoidance tactic. Not avoidance of talking to other people so much as of avoiding the issues altogether, often.

    Well done Shauna. Good luck.

  18. p.s.

    Knitting is BRILLIANT though I recommend the help/support of a real live person to get your head round it when you’re starting off. Having someone else you know to get slightly competitive with helps with the motivation too!

    http://www.ravelry.com is another knitting community.

  19. You know why you have so many followers? We relate to you, we understand your struggles and above all we appreciate your honesty! I think you have to do whatever you think is best for you, but I hope you know that you inspire people everyday and make some of us feel that ideas we have,feelings we have, and actions we follow are not alone because others out there are feeling the same way:) Your latest “ranting orangutan” entry is one of my favorites because I totally get it! Its not just you- no matter our size no matter our life struggles we’ve endured-we all feel that way at some point in our life!
    A good friend told me- Remember that in life it’s not about the fall, it’s about how you pick yourself back up. Too many people make the mistake of thinking that failures mean that it’s over, done and you might as well stop trying. However, quite opposite is true. It’s a time to show your true character, to pick yourself back up and move forward again in life. : ) Give yourself credit for the good you do and don’t beat yourself up for setbacks:)
    I think you are great and love to read your blogs….every single one!

  20. wow, just wanted to say i am comforted to know a REAL person like you has felt the feeling of so-low depression that you can’t/don’t want to leave the houuse. wow. i don’t mean to say comforted that i’m glad u have felt low but hope you know what i mean by feeling comforted to know i am not the only one. i am just another reader, like all the others, but wow, i’m 20yrs old n can relate to what u mean about depression. hope you’re not that deep and you TALK to those around you that love you. reminds me, i need to do the same. 🙂 i wish u many more blessings from the Man up above. from california.

  21. lol, just saw other commenter, peridot, had SAME kind of comment as me, dang we really are very similar! thanks shauna for putting ur struggles out there b/c so MANY ppl like me can relate.