The name’s Di. Di Etplan.

There must have been an International Comment Spammers Convention last week because I'm suddenly getting an excruciating amount of comment spam from a new fancy breed of spammer. I can just picture them frantically taking notes during the Advanced Comment Spam presentation: How To Promote Your Dodgy Diet Products On Some Dimwit's Blog And Make Them Think You're A Proper Commenter In Three Easy Steps.

  1. Take the time to write an actual comment, perhaps actually even reading the entry.
  2. Flatter the blogger by saying one or more of the following:
    – I've subscribed to your RSS feed!
    – I'm going to read all your archives!
    – I'm telling my friends and family and the milkman about your blog!
  3. ONLY THEN link to your diet pills or rapid weight loss scheme.

Bonus points if you can cleverly disguise your business name in the Commenter Name field. For example, Di Etplan. Doesn't she sound like a lovely lass?

I know people are trying to make a living. But I am not going to let them litter my personal blog with their dodgy links to improve their search engine ranking.

My apologies to the 99.9% of non-spammers out there in blog land. I know I'm due a new entry but this rant has been boiling all week and to quote the great Alf Stewart, I've had a flamin' gutful. RAH!

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32 thoughts on “The name’s Di. Di Etplan.

  1. Ha, Di Etplan, is possibly the coolest troll I’ve seen in a long time! Sorry to hear about the stalkers.. and I hope things settle down a bit.

  2. I’ve learned a good way to keep the spammers off your site: make your blog so incredibly stupid that they want no part of it.

    Glad I was able to help!

  3. Nice one Jack πŸ˜‰

    Ally, stalkers would be a freaking jolly holiday compared to these spammers. It drives me NUUUUUUUUUTS!

    (Although Di Etplan has made me laugh all week long πŸ™‚

    Okay I am going to have a little lie-down now.

  4. I am brand new to your blog and I wanted to leave a comment that is not a spam πŸ™‚ I found your blog via a health blog that I read; your blog is on his blog list. I will be reading your past posts–I know I started on the day after the spam incident. I am curious about the “Life list” on the right hand side–I dont know if you talk about that somewhere in the archives. I really really like that and am thinking of making a similar list. Have a great day πŸ™‚ andra

  5. I have to say that Jack’s plan has worked pretty well for me, though I did get one about a week ago. She commented in a way that made me think she had just skimmed the post, though, because she used my wording but said something completely different than my main point.

    -Losi Ngfat (I couldn’t resist)

  6. So… this would be a bad time to tell you all about the wonderful new drug that I’ve discovered which caused me to lose weight, gain inches, get white teeth and a flat stomach, become blond and tan, and as a result acquire several rich boyfriends who want to buy me diamonds and frolic on the beach all day long, and which can be yours, yes all yours, for a mere $49.99 plus $2,351 shipping and handling?

    Oh well. More for me, then.

  7. I had a spammer the other week who was MEAN to me! Did they think I’d be more likely to believe a nasty comment was real than a total suck-up comment? This is what they said:

    “See the button saying Publish? Please don’t ever click on this again. The Web thanks you.”

  8. There are so many different “experts” teaching people how to increase their ranking by commenting. Interestingly enough, there was a recent program that was just launched yesterday, which may be partially to blame? A friend sent it to me, it is called Perpetual Traffic Formula I believe.

    I find your rant perfectly acceptable. Have a blessed afternoon.
    Ron

  9. Fantastic! So for some honest flattery, you are mentioned twice in my success story in the new WW magazine…out in meetings now and shops next week (I think)!!!

  10. Well, at least they are being somewhat creative in their approach whilst flattering you at the same time. Think that scrapes by as a silver lining? ;o)

    Alf Stewart..geez, I haven’t thought of him since I left Australia a few years ago. Perfect old bugger to quote though hehe!

  11. I mentioned an airline in my post and suddenly got a flux of new commenters saying how much they loved that same airline – real ppl, not auto-spam. Made me wonder how you get a job blog commenting! Maybe that’s what they make the call centre staff do in their down time.

  12. please rant away. your ranting and weightloss achievements have been noted and i’ve told the cats all about them! I hope to learn from you. Please come and learn from my rants πŸ˜‰

    – Slim Merjean.

    (lame, i know…)

  13. Whew…I know…I’ve had to change the way that I receive comments so that I don’t end up with tons of nonsensical junk on my blog. Erg.

  14. Di Etplan? Isn’t that Rol Exwatch’s sister? You know, Big GerPenis’s cousin?

    …what you mean they aren’t real people?!?!?!?

    Classic. Rant away – hell, throw things at them too if you think it is possible!

  15. Oh hon, I’m hearing your girl. I’ve had a gutful too. There are so many spammers out there and it’s getting so sophisticated. I even have word verification on but the spam bots get a way around it somehow. I have to delete 2-3 comments each post now!

  16. Yep, I’ve been getting that kind of spam comment too (from P.H.Entermine et al)and I don’t even write a weight loss blog, not really. I am trying to lose weight and update my progress on my blog every other Wednesday. I called these posts ‘Weight Loss Wednesday’ and these were the ones that attracted the spammers so I started giving them different titles figuring they were finding me by searching for ‘weight loss’. I can see that’s not an option for you Shauna -must be a big pain in the bum.

  17. I have people who seemed quite genuine but linked to a business website so I actually emailed to say that I wouldn’t publish comments from a business site – since then they haven’t stopped so I am now very wary of anyone who doesn’t seem to be a real person – sorry to hear you are being bothered too – it is just not what blogging is all about!

  18. hehe – do you get the ones that say they’re being held hostage by the Russian Mafia and forced to post comment spam as well? That at least gave me a giggle.

  19. Hi Shauna, I just finished reading your ENTIRE blog, from day one! It took a while since I only did it during quiet times at work and there haven’t been a lot of those recently. I just love what you have to say and how you say it. I’ll be buying your book soon. I’ve seen it in stores and was intrigued by the title. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I think you’re terrific and inspiring.
    Contrary to what you seem to think, your struggles and setbacks are the reason I found your blog so gripping and motivational. Most “success” stories tell about what the person did to lose weight and that’s pretty much it. E.g. “I lost all my weight doing this and now life is perfect”. They don’t reveal the ups and downs of weight loss and attaining health, the constant need to be on top of your emotions, the absolute necessity of planning planning planning and what happens when, inevitably you fall off the wagon/get sick of the process/or life simply gets in the way. You’re blog is so real and therefore makes me believe I truly can do this.
    I’ll turn 52 this year so you and I don’t have a huge amount in common: There are a few points that we share though:
    I too am a “red-head” (well I was):
    I left my homeland and moved to the US from Ireland when I was 20:
    I have a bum knee that required surgery because I went too far too fast when I attempted running in 2006 (no more of that for me thank you v. much)
    My weight issues began after my third child was born. when I was 32. I’ve struggled and dieted and exercised and gave up many times since then and as a result now weigh 25lbs MORE than I did the day BEFORE my child was born. So much for my efforts. I now know it’s because I a) never stuck with anything long enough; b) followed plans that were not sustainable in that they had too few calories or eliminated major food groups and c) didn’t MOVE enough!
    I’m going to do a web search for Zumba DVDs as I think they just might be something I’ll enjoy and won’t have to worry too much about injury.
    This is such a long post so I’m sorry for that. Thank you for your blog. I think it just might be saving my life.

  20. Hi Shauna!
    I just wanted to stop by and tell you how much I love your story, your journey!
    I just found out about your blog last week, and I got a copy of your book and read it all in 2 days (leaving my studying all behind).
    You are such an inspiration!
    Best wishes from Germany πŸ™‚

  21. Just wanted to leave a comment that wasn’t spam. this is the first time I’ve been to this site, but I anticipate many many lost hours exploring and reading it all as I’ve just finished reading the book (as recommended by Amazon) BTW Amazon keeps recommending books related to weight loss for me (I’m beginning to think they can see me!) but I’m happy to say that this time they were right. So….off to look at recipes and make a weekly plan……

  22. Sigh…spammers. I hate the ones that almost sound like real people, but you know they’re not. I mean, fool me once with something like “hey your blog is great I want to read more”, but if you say that EVERY time you come here, either you need to be more creative or you’re a spammer. πŸ˜‰

    This is an example of why we humans CANNOT HAVE NICE THINGS.