Blue

Hello, me again.

Who am I kidding, again? I haven't written in two weeks. I've been so busy. Work is horrid lately. So horrid.

I'm still losing. It's slowed down to a crawl these past two weeks, which has made me very pouty and irritable.

I am finding it harder during winter. Getting out of bed in the morning is a bitch when your house is old and freezing. You can see your breath. 7am and it's still icy outside so I don't feel like going for a walk. Then when I get home from work at the end of the day it's already too dark for walking.

Still going to the gym, but not as much as I should be. 3 times last week, once so far this week, but still the weekend left before I weigh in again. I just seem so drained lately. And last Tuesday after a particularly stressful day at work I had a stupid argument with my sister and ending up breaking down in the change rooms at the gym. Sob sob sob, my job sucks, blah blah blah. I felt terrible.

Anyway.

I don't feel like I have been giving this weight loss caper the focus I want lately, work keeps rearing its ugly head and on the weekends I seem to be too tired and numb to do anything but recover from the working week.

I'm just 0.2kg from reaching 30 kg lost. I should be more excited but all I can do is think of how I don't look much different and how far I have to go and why the hell hasn't a single person (aside from those who KNOW I am at WW) noticed all those kilos gone? Is anyone ever going to notice?

These winter blues are so pathetic. I crave cuddles like nothing else on earth. Now don't think I am one of those pathetic females that only feels complete if they're in a relationship. Hell know it's been two years since I had one of those. I just feel so invisible when it comes to the opposite sex. You always hear about big folks getting teased about their size, but that's never happened to me. I just feel invisible. They look right past you, they don't meet your eyes, they don't listen to what you say. I don't exist.

I'm tired of that feeling.