The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl

Scones, tea and AOL

Good morning AOL.com visitors - thank you for dropping by!

If you're not sure where to click first, you could peek inside my book The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl right here, watch me yabbering on about my lard-busting efforts on CBS The Early Show or check out some of my alleged best entries.

I've been in London this weekend, visiting my sister for her birthday. She had a gift voucher for afternoon tea at the very posh Dorchester Hotel. Unlike the snotty lady at the table beside us, I did not sigh and say airily, "I really just don't get hungry in the afternoons" when presented with French pastries and fresh scones with jam and clotted cream.

Why spend £40 on AFTERNOON TEA if you don't like to bloody eat in the afternoon? Sure I should probably walk home to Scotland to burn off the calories but life is for living! Nothing wrong with a little of what you fancy. Mmmm, macaron.

Hei Suomi!

Hello world! I know some folks get annoyed when I write about Book Stuff but I assure you this is the very last Dietgirl translation and it would be rude to give shoutouts to Germany and Norway then ignore poor old Finland. 

So... hello any Finns out there! I've already heard from some lovely Dieettitytön huimat seikkailut readers (thank you!) who said they particularly appreciated the passionate love story. Not Gareth, but rather Finnish chocolate. 

It was a brief but intense affair - just three days in Helsinki almost five years ago. But I still wake up drooling from Fazer chocolate dreams, especially the Tupla and Geisha bars. I think the chocolates got more adjectives in the book than poor Dr G.

Apart from the chocolate and the reindeer with mashed potatoes, my other lingering memory of Helsinki is of wind. Not the excess-broccoli-consumption kind, but rather the wild stuff that blows things over. I was still in my Avoiding Cameras phase back then so the only photographic evidence I've got is a self-portrait beneath the Sibelius Monument that still makes Dr G bust a gut laughing. A ferocious Finnish breeze is all you need for a stunning Flock of Seagulls hairstyle.

The book looks very cool - hardcover with lots of vowels. The acknowledgements are slightly confusing. In the UK version, I thanked Gareth in the last paragraph and ended with, "YOU RAWK" - the Finnish translation of this sentence is "SENKIN LIVERPOOL-FAN!" Very strange!

(Thank you Meri for your help with the entry title!)

Telly Report

The night before I laid out my outfit three different ways. First in a long line across the hotel room, in correct order of putting-on-ness. Then in alphabetical order. Then finally draped over a chair in formation, like I'd been flattened by a truck - dress splayed, tights dangling beneath, boots waiting below, bra and knickers in the right spot; I even balanced the earrings on the top of the chair. Just in case I couldn't remember how to get dressed by the time morning rolled round.

Yes, yes, the nerves again. I know you long-time visitors are bloody sick of hearing about them, but I still get frazzled before Big Unknown Events. I learned from the kickboxing grading that being ultra-prepared helps, so I slept better knowing that the clothes were in position and there were two alarm clocks and a wake-up call keeping them company. 

I woke up by myself at the crack of dawn. Got dressed and then it was 6.15. Two hours to kill before I was due at CBS. I perched on the edge of the bed and practiced not slouching. All the different advice I'd been given played on a loop. Be calm. Enjoy yourself. Don't say anything stuuuupid!

Early Show Update Update Update

Howdy comrades! Wild gooses* could not keep me away from American television this morning, but I did not realise that my segment was being taped. D'oh! So my apologies for misinforming you again. It will be aired next week. It will!

So I have a couple more hours in this lovely town before I fly out, arriving in Edinburgh at 7.30am then off to the office where I will attempt to be a productive worker! Hope you are all well, wherever you may be.

* I know the plural of goose is geese but gooses/horses, poetic licence and all**

** Gareth just said, "Why wild gooses?" and I had to explain about the plane in the Hudson, the goose that got me bumped last week, geddit now Doc? :P

 

Early Show Update Update Update Update: It's going to be screened tomorrow, Monday 26th January.

Early Show Update Update

This is getting a wee bit silly now... I've been postponed again. Should be Thursday morning now! Fingers crossed.

At the very least I have had a grand old time in this city. Today I soaked up the inauguration atmosphere in Times Square then guzzled orange juice and cold tablets in the hope of downgrading my nose from Rudolph Red by Thursday.

Now I just have to grovel to my boss again then go out and buy some more knickers!

Early Show update!

Hellooooo! I hope that DVRs are easier to reprogram than VCRs used to be, as my Early Show thingo has been postponed until next Wednesday 21st January, due to the Plane in the River story. I'll let you know when I know if it is definitely going to happen. First I just have to wait til it's morning in the UK and ask my boss if I can get a few more days off. Oh man...

NB: My blog is set to UK time, so it would appear from this entry that I'm breaking my Internet Curfew big style! But it's only Thursday 9.27PM here in New York so I'm keeping the dream alive, baby!

News in Brief

I'm doing my best to carry on despite the heaviness in my heart following the untimely death of my beloved Basil the iPhone (some twerp put him in the washing machine). Sniff sniff :P

So, apologies for the slackarse bullet points today!

- Amazon.com is back in stock, woohoo!

- The Dietgirl Reader Gallery has two new masterpieces. Germany and Switzerland represent! Thank you Julia and Bianca.

- The Virtual Book Tour is rolling on through Week Two. You can check out all the stops here!

- Capessa chats with Dietgirl (and I sound half asleep)

- I'm going to New York tomorrow (!!!) then will be on The Early Show on CBS this Friday 16th January (!!!²). I'll be yapping about blogging and how it helped me bust the lard. Hopefully I won't spew from nervousness!

Midnight Quickie

Greeting comrades!

• There was going to be a new post today here today, but I spent ten gazillion hours mucking about with my book tour guest post for Refuse To Regain. Sometimes it's bloody hard to find the right words! The post is called After The Happy Ending and is all about my maintenance adventures - how it was great and then it sucked and then it got okay again. 
• Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com are currently out of DG stock. The publishers are printing some more as we speak and they will be ready to ship on Monday! In the meantime try Powell's or this site helps you find a local independent bookseller. 'Mon the indies!
  UPDATE: 11 January - Barnes & Noble.com now back in stock, woohoo!
  
• I'm a guest contributor on Blogs.com today with 10 Blogs To Drool Over When You're On A Diet. Food p0rn ahoy!

After the happy ending

I wrote this guest post for Refuse To Regain as part of the Dietgirl Virtual Book Tour. I've archived it here as I know lots of people stalk their way through the archives and it's a very important entry, explaining where I'm at now in terms of my maintenance struggles adventures! Be sure to stop by at Refuse To Regain - it's a fabulous blog and resource for maintainers.

My first year of maintenance was easy. I think I cruised through on euphoria alone. Every day in my new body was an adventure - I rejoiced in my new clothes, new fitness and new ability to fit inside bathtubs.

Later that year I finished writing a book that charted my six-year, 175-pound weight loss journey. I was still giddy with excitement as I churned out the Epilogue. My body is something to savor and celebrate, I wrote. Every time I put on lipstick and high heels it feels like I'm singing to world about the joy I've found within.

The second year was a different story. Everything was messy and unpredictable. I was simultaneously renovating our apartment, starting a demanding new job and promoting my book in the UK and Ireland. I also took on big fitness challenges, such as training for kickboxing grades and a marathon walk. As the year dragged on there were personal issues and a serious financial scare, then we sold our apartment and moved house.

As a result my maintenance efforts were chaotic. I'd alternate weeks of intense exercise with weeks of nothing at all. I'd buy takeout too often then go crazy with healthy cooking to compensate. I wrestled the same ten pounds all year long, pinging up and down the scale. Instead of high heels and celebrations, it was more brooding on the couch in my sweatpants.

Meanwhile, my inbox was flooded with messages from people who'd read my book. You're such an inspiration! You're living the happy ending! You must be so proud! I didn't feel proud or inspiring. Sure I've lost a few pounds but look at me now! I'm barely holding it together! If those kind readers knew how much I struggled, they'd demand a refund! I felt like a fraud as I answered their email questions about my exercise program, instead of actually doing my exercise program. I made jokes about my woes on my blog, not wanting to alienate readers new and old with too much doom and gloom. But the negativity crept in. I spoke about maintenance with words like "struggle" and "battle" and "never-ending stinkfest".

There were times when I could have cheerfully burned my book. I bugged the heck out of myself with my optimism and irritating self acceptance. I was just plain jealous of Book Shauna, to be honest. I could barely believe that was me who'd lost all that weight and stuck at it for so many years. How did I start wanting change more than chocolate? That determined girl seemed like a stranger and I worried I'd never find her again.

The third year of maintenance was rapidly approaching and I was desperate to make it different. It was a lot like the start of my weight loss mission - I thought someone else must have the secret. I started reading blogs written by fellow maintainers, such as this one. I stalked through their archives, looking for magic solutions. But instead of magic, I read about hard work and persistence; the ability to learn from mistakes and pick yourself back up after a crappy day. Or even a crappy month or year.

I finally had my DUH moment. Maintenance was really no different from weight loss. Sometimes it is fabulous and sometimes it sucks. And that's okay.

I think part of me thought that writing THE END on my manuscript would mean The End of the struggle and The End of learning stuff. Surely after six ridiculous years of lard-busting I'd have figured out my Issues for good? But life doesn't stop when you close a book. The story plows on, the character keeps evolving. Holding on to that happy ending is hard work.

A few months on I'm starting to feel more at peace with the realities of maintenance. I'm starting to live and breathe that happy ending again, albeit without the delirium of the first year. Life is still stupidly busy, but I remembered the best thing I learned in the weight loss phase - the journey is easier when you make it enjoyable. Last year I was falling back into the arms of my old dieter's mindset - all or nothing thinking, expecting perfection, dwelling on mistakes and not savouring the good stuff. But now I want to celebrate how far I've come, instead of feeling overwhelmed by it or taking it for granted. Maintenance doesn't seem like such a drag when I take time out to find the joy in the little things. The peacefulness of a Pilates stretch. The gleeful clobbering of my kickboxing class. The wholesome smugness of a healthy day's eating. I'm ready to dust off those high heels and lipsticks.

Tuesday Morning Radio

Don't touch that dial! There will be non-pimping posts soon - such as New Years Goals, and how yesterday I got back on a bike for the first time in fourteen months and it sucked and I ran out of gears halfway up a hill and couldn't remember which lever would make the wheels go so I just pressed all of them at once and the chain flew off and I got into a huff and told Gareth to just bloody carry on without me and stormed off home.

But first I have to do a few things, namely twenty radio interviews on Tuesday morning with random stations in random American towns (and two in Ontario!). If you're up early and fancy tuning in, click the link below for the schedule!

Thank you again for your comments and emails, it really means a lot :)

Dietgirl Virtual Book Tour is GO!

If I was John Grisham or JK Rowling you can bet my private jet would be swooping into your town on a grand book tour, with an entourage of slaves to hold the hardbacks open and massage my signing hand. But alas, I've got to go to work and these are credit crunch times, so the book tour is all virtual!

Would you get a load of the Official Book Tour Logo? I was trying to learn from my incompetence during the UK release and be a sleek and organised machine for Dietgirl USA. I had a grand brand vision of the book with aeroplane wings, travelling round the world, but of course I've left it til 11 o'clock the night before the tour. All I can find on Google Images is stupid angel wings, so it looks like the book is DEAD and chuffing on up to heaven. I hope that's not an omen.

Over the next two weeks the tour will visit eleven kindly bloggers. There'll be interviews, guest posts, audio, video and giveaways. Here's the schedule in full - I'll update each stop with a direct link and more info as they go live:

Monday 5 Jan - MizFit* (video review - featuring party hat!)

Tuesday 6 Jan - PastaQueen* (interview - going from blog to book)

Wednesday 7 Jan - Refuse to Regain (guest post - After the Happy Ending)

Thursday 8 Jan - Escape from Obesity* (interview - bingeing, body image and missing your fat)

Friday 9 Jan - Back In Skinny Jeans (podcast - book deals, blogging community & find your purpose)

Monday 12 Jan - Cranky Fitness* (interview - Dietgirl the Movie, hot Scots and good lovin')

Tuesday 13 Jan - The ELFF Diet* (a bloody fantastic review)

Wednesday 14 Jan - Lynn's Weigh (interview - blogging trends, body discoveries and Moronic Cores)

Thursday 15 Jan - Roni's Weigh (reader Q&A session)

Friday 16 Jan - DietBlog (interview)

Monday 19 Jan: jen larsen dot net (interview)

* Win a copy of the book at these stops!

Hope you enjoy the tour. Thank you again to all the participants, you're true legends!

Hallo Deutschland!

The German translation of Dietgirl - Die unglaublichen Abenteuer von Diät-Girl - was unleashed on January 1st.

It looks very swanky with a bright blue spine and back and these flappy sort of things  inside the covers where you could store a chocolate wrapper or your electricity bill. 

The very best part is that the translation of Mothership is MUTTERSCHIFF! I will be addressing her thus from now on.

So if there's any Germans in the house - hello to you!

In other news, I've fixed the broken Dietgirl Reader Gallery so if you would like your name and blog link up in lights, feel free to join in.

And now here is a little appeal: If anyone out there in America or Germany or Guatemala or whatnot happens to spy the book in a shop and has a camera handy.... would you mind taking a wee photo? I know I'm a saddo, but it's bloody frustrating being here in the ol UK and not being able to stalk the shelves and see if it actually exists. You would be my hero for life!

Dietgirl at the DailySpark

The Dietgirl book is out in America today! And so begins my mission to spread the good word. I'll be linking to a number of interviews and goodies over the next couple of weeks, including multiple chances to win a copy of the book. But I'll also keep up with the usual everyday tales so you don't have to mutter "sellout!" over your morning coffee :)

Today there's a great review and interview on the DailySpark blog at SparkPeople. I've always liked the SparkPeople philosophy - small, realistic changes with no crazy stuff. It's a free site with a strong community and oodles of useful information. They'll also be giving away ten free copies of Dietgirl this Friday 2nd January, so if you're a Sparky person look out for that one.

Update: Here's the link for the SparkPeople/Dietgirl giveaway

USA! USA! USA!

Now you're back from outer space

My exile is over! It was less than three weeks but that must be about eleven Internet Years. A brief summary of goings-on:

• Green Belt - Training has begun for our next kickboxing grades. I'm again wrestling with my inferiority complex as my friend V nailed the 75 elements of the set movement in one bloody class while I'm still struggling with the first sequence. But Grading Day is not til February. My brilliance tends to lie dormant for a few months until you flush out of hiding with a big stick and a bucket of panic.
• Operation Tightarse - After a year of idle whinging about my tight hamstrings and glutes I decided to do something about it and dusted off all my stretchy DVDs. I'm hoping the regular yoga, pilates, etc will help my flexibility, with the main aim of kicking better. Note: this Pilates DVD is gold.
• Soup of the Year! If you want a marshmallow-free way of consuming sweet potatoes, may I recommend this Sweet Potato Soup Topped with Sautéed Halloumi and Mixed Seeds. It's a real hearty mother of a soup. Since the recipe is from a poncy supermarket it specifies own brand ingredients like frozen sweet potatoes and Five Seed Mix and chilli-infused oil, but I just used dried chilli flakes, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, and normal unfrozen potatoes. Don't be tempted to skip the halloumi and seed garnish, it really ties the room together!
• Commercial Break - There's only 27 sleeps until the Dietgirl book comes out in the USA. Woohoo! It makes me squirm to slip into Book Tart mode, but did you know that around 180,000 books are published in the States per year? One must sing from the rooftops, HEY put doon that Steven King, have I got a tale for YOU while one still has the chance.
  
  So, the book is out soon and the lovely folks at HarperCollins have done an amazing job pouring my ramblings into a portable package. A package that might very well look cosy underneath your Christmas tree. Or the tree of your Mum or Nanna or Aunt Bethel or Steven the Goldfish. As they used to say on the Toyota Mitsubishi adverts, PLEASE CONSIDER.
  
  In January I'll be rattling around the web on a virtual book tour visiting some fabulous blogs - there'll be interviews and reviews and podcasts and free copies to be won! In the meantime we have your choice of two snazzy widgets that you can splash on blogs, Facebooks and MySpaces:
  
  Widget #1. Countdown clock - count down the minutes to publication day (advent calendars are sooo 1851!)
  
  Widget #2. Browse Inside! - Have a good ol stickybeak at the actual pages. You can even search the entire book. 13 results for "chicken", 117 results for "fat", 19 results for "arse", for example.
  

Shaunas utrolige forvandling

I'm heading into my sixth Scottish winter and it's always a shock, that first Monday after the clocks go back and we leave work in the dark. Then I turn into a crotchety zombie until March, but I'll exercise like a mofo and get the endorphins buzzing. Perhaps also tape a photo of a tropical beach to the computer for backup.

I know there's a few Southern Hemisphere imports out there - I hope you were gathering up your Happy Funtime Memories over the summer like lunatic squirrels, ready to feast on during the bleak months ahead. But seriously, there is much to look forward to. Christmas parties, BBC period dramas; satsumas, clementines and other easy-to-peel citrus.

. . .

Are there any Norwegians in the house?

Today I received copies of the Norwegian edition of Dietgirl which came out this month. It's got Smarties on the cover! You cannae go wrong with that.

Vega, the publishing house, only got in touch in March and they've turned it into a real live book already! Hardcover with full colour photos too. Swanky.

Spare a thought for Carina Westberg, the translator. I can't imagine anything more tedious than having to translate cake and arse and scale and post-Drive-thru-remorse eleventeen billion times.

I don't understand a jot of Norwegian but that hasn't stopped me lovingly stroking the pages this evening and gawking at all the funny squiggles. And... Doktor G!

Weight Watchers needs no translation apparently.

If you're Norwegian or you just happen to be fluent and fancy a read, please give me a shout!

Delirious in Dunfermline

Two alliterative blog entry titles in a row! Where and what shall we be tomorrow? Ecstatic in Edinburgh? Topless in Toronto? Maudlin in Madagascar?

So we're back in the Dunny. We zoomed out of New York at Thursday 8PM and somehow six hours later, it was Friday 7AM in the ol UK. When I started writing this entry it was 3PM and I was determined to stay awake til 9PM at least, to assist my return to the land of the living! In the end I was up until 3AM, watching the US Presidential debate thingo. Then slept for twelve hours.

. . .

Nerves aside things went well at Harper Collins; they were all lovely people. It was great to put faces to names after emailling for so long, and now it feels real that soon the ol DG book will exist with color instead of colour, chips instead of crisps and ASS instead of arse. Actually I don't think we changed the arses.

For a book nerd, it was brilliant to stickybeak behind the scenes at a publishing house. I got to visit Transworld in London last year and it was much the same - an endless maze of corridors, posters of bestsellers hanging proudly on the walls; wee offices with editors peeking out like Kilroy cartoons from behind vast stacks of books. Hella cool :)

. . .

Gareth spied these Wo/Men's Health magazines on a newstand. How come the men see results in 8 days but the chicks have to wait 12?!

 

Nervous in New York

Hello dear comrades, it's your trusty foreign correspondent again. I am slightly malnourished after a weekend upstate at a music festival where there was nowt to eat but gyros and candy bars, I shit ye not. Woman cannot live on rock and roll alone unfortunately.

The thing is, my stomach KNEW there was danger ahead. It said into me on Friday morning, "shauna, there is danger ahead. Go to the wee deli round the corner and get some fruuit and veg and sarnies or similar, otherwise I will be growling with pain and turmoil for the next three days."

"Aye right," I said. "we'll be fine!"

But lo, the stomach knows all and the food was really bad and I paid the price. But the music was fab!

Now we're back in NYC for one more day, lots to say but must go to sleep as I am meeting the lovely folks at Harper Collins tomorrow morning to talk about the us dg book which is out in December and if I wasn't typing this on a telephone with one finger I'd tell you about my bundle o nerves and wondering if I should have spent the last six months getting totally svelte and glam and whiter toothed so i'll be more impressive rather than saying "umm...I got an A- for my orange belt, will that help with our marketing at all?"

Hope you're having a great week, luvvies.

Best wishes from my right index finger,
DG

71 June

I walked the Walk! But I'll have to wait to talk the Walk until later in the week when we get back from our wee jaunt in the Highlands. The Walk took me EIGHT HOURS so as you can imagine I have a lot of Walk to talk about.

But I've run out of time; its 1.23 AM and I just finished going over 409 pages of proofs for the US edition of Dietgirl. I read the cover note last week in a zombified state and thought it said, "complete by 71 June". Plenty of time, nae bother! But of course there is no such date. It was actually 17 June, which is today. Now my eyeballs feel like they're about to explode which nicely parallels the feeling in my calves!

I better scoot to bed. Until next time, here is a picture from the Start line, just before midnight. Already looking tired, but behold the joy and innocence!

(We are all wearing plastic coat thingies because it was SO bloody cold)

And here is the complete opposite of joy at 4.21 AM . The orange was very tasty, however.

I wanted to say a huge thank you for all your kind comments and Moonwalk wishes! And also a big woohoo to those who climbed aboard the 100 PushUps challenge. I did the Initial Test and managed just three trembling reps. The only way is up.

Inbox Update

Just a wee update on the email situation after the Mini Meltdown of March, when I was running round like a headless chook trying to fit in flat painting, book pimping, Moonwalking, bathing, etc.

I'm still bumbling along and still behind with emails. But progress has been made and I'm well down to double digits. As for the flat, there's just one more stinky little room to go. The whole operation would run more efficiently if I could write and paint at the same time. Or if I had a butler. "JEEVES! Take down this note!"

Thanks a bazillion to everyone who has taken the time to write and/or send photos for the Dietgirl Reader Gallery, you rawk! The Gallery is up to date now - in addition to the cat and assorted humans, we have a literate dog in our ranks! I'm crossing my fingers for a budgie or donkey next.

Steamy Windows

Last night I...

• ... sneaked off to Anstruther with Gareth for fish and chips by the sea. It was a clear, sunny evening and we were stressed oot our skulls so decided that LARD WAS THE ANSWER. By the time we queued for the goods it was freezing outside, so we ate in the car (fish and chips me, chip butties for him) and the windows got all steamed up. This is the kind of steamy window action enjoyed by the dull and married.
• ... finished listening to The Time Traveler's Wife! Argh! I was supposed to save it for walks only, but I got hooked and gorged on the whole thing. Do you see a pattern here!?
  I'll have to get to the library because audiobooks aren't cheap. Did you know the movie version comes out later this year, starring Australia's Eric Bana as the time travellin' fella? Mrrrowr.
• ... cleaned the oven. The oven had not been cleaned for seven years. Imagine the carnage.
• ... did a rocking interview with an Irish radio station called i102104. I was on the iTalk show with Chris Greene and Mary McGill. I didn't think you could listen online because the website link on Mary's email didn't work, and it didn't occur to me to ask or bloody Google it myself until after the fact. Tis a pity because it was lots of fun, as it always seems to be with the lovely, lovely Irish folk. I think I was a bit wacky from the fish and chips because when they asked me how and when my weight issues started, I blurted that when I was a child I, "turned to chocolate because I was too young for crack". OH dear.

Tonight Dr G and I are cleaning the kitchen in readiness for painting, so this is the shoddy entry you get instead of the Proper One I've been trying to finish for two weeks. But summer is coming and we are desperate to finish fixing up the flat. We are so bloody bored of fixing up the flat. It's been chaos since last September when we kicked off with the wallpaper stripping. You cannot move for tripping over paint pots and tile cutters and mountain bikes. The kitchen is the biggest pain in the arse - right now the fridge is in the hallway, the microwave is in the bathroom and the spaghetti jar is on top of the telly. An organised kitchen is the most sacred, fundamental element of my health and well-being routine so I'm feeling rather edgy at the moment.