The Wrong Direction

So I posted my first gain this week: 100 grams (0.22 lb).

The weigher said, "If you’d peed before you got here, you’d have lost 100 grams!" and told me not to worry about it. I was disappointed, even though it’s such a tiny amount, simply coz the scale was going in the wrong direction. And I can’t blame it on fluid retention or anything, it’s all my own doing.

I did hardly any exercise. I walked the dog on Tuesday morning and evening, then I did nothing else til Friday, when I did a 20 minute walk and about 20 minutes of a workout video before collapsing on the floor and falling asleep. I started a new job recently, and it’s sapping my strength. The previous two weeks I’d just been bursting with energy. Now I feel too tired to exercise, and when I do exercise, it leaves me feeling so sleepy instead of energised.

My eating wasn’t that brilliant either. The first 4 days of the week I was way under my points, only about 18 or 20 when I’m supposed to have 25. Then on Saturday I went out for lunch and ordered a healthy Teriyaki burger (grilled chicken on a bun, stuffed with yummy salad) but it came with a small serve of fries. Instead of ignoring the fries, I ate them, and although they were nice, it just didn’t feel good about it. It wasn’t worth it.

I also had a total of three chocolate sundaes at McDonalds during the week. Large ones.

So my balance was just so out of whack, I was so consumed by other things I neglected my weight loss efforts. I barely kept my Points tracker. I’m sure some of my portion sizes were too big. And the lack of exercise left me feeling so blah.

Those two weeks when I exercised regularly, I felt almost high, coz I was just that happy to be getting out there and making an effort. I felt the calm and happiness I had back when I was on my anti-depressants, except this was an all-natural high. But last week and this one I’ve been kinda teary and depressed and not so optimistic about things. I hope I can turn it around again.

So it’s now Wednesday, Day 2 of the WW week. I exercised yesterday morning and plan to when I finish work today, but right now I am just so tired. My brain hurts from all this new stuff I’m taking in. I can’t wait for the Easter weekend, I really need the time to recharge.

Hopefully next week, I’ll have my focus back. Please wish me luck, I feel like I’m faltering right now.

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