On The Road Again

“Well well well, who’s this sexy babe?”

So the weigh-in ladies greeted me at my meeting last night.

“I saw you in the post office at lunch today!” said one, “And I said SHIIIIIIIT that Dietgirl’s lost some weight!”

I was buzzing from those kind words, then I hopped on the scale to find I’d lost 2.1 kg (4.6lb)! Hurrah!

I found some photos on my computer that I’d taken back when I started in January, resplendent in my bra and undies. I shuddered at how I looked.

Then I went and stripped (down to my bra & knickers, both a size smaller) and took some NEW pics and put them side by side to compare. It was SUCH a wake-up call for me. With no clothes to disguise things, you could really see the difference – instead of a shapeless blob, there’s now the beginnings of a waist. My hips and boobs are smaller, my face is too, even my arms and legs have lost some blubber.

I photoshopped my face out of the pictures and was just about to post them on my site when I thought, HELLO! You’re in your UNDERWEAR! Noone wants to see fat chickies in their underwear, even if they have dropped some poundage! I will have to take some clothed pics and hope the difference is visible!

I had to work late tonight so I didn’t get to the gym, but I really felt like a night off. I’ve been a wee bit achy in the legs from all that cross trainer! But I’ll be back tomorrow night! I’m just 0.6 away from a total loss of 60lb, so I’d really like to get there next Monday.

To all the wonderful people who contacted me during my infamous panic attack, THANKYOU. I was on a real low and you picked me right up again. You’re all nothing short of amazing!

Have a great week.

Paranoid Girl

So I gained on Monday night, 0.8 kilos – 1.8 lbs, that is. I thought I’d had a good week, I’d been the gym four bloody times! Plus walking the dog. And I was feeling good. And I got into those OLD JEANS, yknow? I was a little crushed.

Okay, more than a little. I sulked and  brooded for days.

Now I am over that, and instead I am just panicking that I am not going to lose any more weight and somehow after 24 kilos lost my body is going to say, "Nah. Don’t wanna do no more" and I am going to be a size 24 BLOB forever.

So I’ve been extra good this week and exercising and we’ll just have to see what happens on Monday night.

Before that gain I was thinking to myself that I was looking really quite good and there was some tone starting to happen from all my gymming. I could feel these muscles (under the layer of lard) beginning to form in the front of my thighs. My stomach had eroded enough to reveal that yes, I DO have a navel and yes I DO have naughty bits! (They were concealed by my spare tyres before. A lot of the air’s been let out) I also thought my calves seem to be getting a bit of definition.

But now I am getting all panicky and paranoid and thinking that I *imagined* that there’s been changes and really I am actually getting fatter again.

OH BLOODY HELL! I wish it was just Monday so I could get the weigh-in over and done with! Scales are PUREST EVIL, I tells ya. EVIL!

It’s Called Progress, Baby!

I would just like to report that last night I did 35 minutes on the cross-trainer at the gym, on Level 4. Sure there’s 20 levels or something, but three months ago I couldn’t even do *five* minutes on Level 1. It’s called progress, baby!

It’s been a long time between posts, kiddies. I’ve been snowed under with my new job, not to mentioned stressed out. My weight-loss campaign still seems to be trundling along okay, nice and steadily. Since my job sapping up so much of my time, it could be easy to slip into bad habits again, but I’m finding as long as I plan my meals I do okay. I lost 0.4 kilos this week (1lb) and 2 kilos the previous week (4.4lb), so I’m well pleased with that.

All this effort is finally paying off, folks. Firstly, my health has improved so much. In summer I would wake myself up at night because my breathing was all wheezy and yuck, I think I’d developed a bit of asthma or something. Either way, with the extra weight I could barely get comfortable to sleep. But now all that wheeziness is gone.

On Monday I had another fitness assessment at the gym. It was brilliant! I hopped on the scale and Allison, the staff member who designed my program, yelped "HOLY SHIT!" when she saw how much I’d lost. I looked calm and indifferent since I’d been to WW and knew how much I weighed, but she hadn’t weighed me for six months. She jumped up and down and hugged me and was so excited.

She took my blood pressure and it had dropped significantly since October. It wasn’t high back then, but now it’s even healthier. What *was* unhealthy in October was my resting heart rate – 100 beats per minute! I used to be so out of breath even just walking round the house. Now it is down to 78 bpm. It’s just in the healthy range now (60-80 bpm)! I was SO happy with that one, because it means all my exercise is paying off.

As well as the health stuff there’s the aesthetic pleasures of dropping weight. Today I’m wearing a pair of jeans I haven’t been able to wear for two years. I put on my normal size 26 ones this morning and realised they were just hanging off me and made me look bigger than I was. So I thought I’d just try the old, smaller ones. Miracle of miracles, they fit! And they fit so nicely. Not too baggy, not too tight. Just right. I just can’t believe I’m wearing them! Woohoo!

I went to see my Mum on the weekend and she gave me some clothes she’d got for me at Christmas time but I’d thrown back at her because they were too small. They fit now! Two pairs of pants and some nice tops. Excellent. The pants are that kind of bootleg cut that I like, very flattering. And YOUNG looking, y’know? Fat peoples clothes can be so frumpy and horrible. Designers think just because you’re plump that you have no style and you want to wear shitty fabrics. Not so! Anyway, it was nice to have something that someone of my age would actually wear, instead of the usual FrumpWear.

I still get disillusioned from time to time. I fret about my upper arms a lot. They’re so flabby and I wonder if I’ll just have horrible skin there when I lose more weight. I fret about my stomach and how it seems to be coming off my sides and hips so I look nice front on, but side-on I have the big belly. Blah. I fret that I’ll never be able to have a decent looking bra. Fat People Bras are so ugly and unsexy, and here in Australia it’s near impossible to a shop that even stocks the ugly ones. I dream about walking into a fancy lingerie store and buying some skimpy thing and knowing they’ll have it in my size.

Patience, girl. Must learn to be patient. But it’s hard, y’know? In my mind I already feel like a skinny person. I just wish the body would hurry and catch up!