I don’t know what else to say except that this is all really hard. I need to cut back to one job, I have been working these 6/7 day weeks for too long. Nine months, in fact. I have two days off this whole month. That is just stupid. We needed to do this for our Russia/Scandi trip — our Monday – Friday temp jobs don’t pay enough to fund such a big trip. We tried to find better paid jobs that used our qualifications, but it’s hard to when employers know you’re here for a limited time. Two jobs was the only option.
But when we get back, something has to give. My sister and I are always tired, cranky, listless. It has been a struggle to keep our health/fitness regime going. Most days we just want to sleep. We have a week or so of great food and exercise, full of inspiration, but then we’ll work 14 days in a row and lose our momentum.
I know people have multiple jobs and kids and all sorts of problems, so I am not pulling a "poor me" here. I am just saying I am tired. I am tired of being upbeat and optimistic one moment then paralysed with fatigue and gloom the next.
Anyway. Until I think of a better way to work I am just going to try and slowly chip away at this blubber. I am trying to get some walking in as well as the gym. It didn’t get dark until after 10 last night. I love the Northern Hemisphere summers.
I bought a skirt from H&M on Friday. Only £10! That’s cheap even translated back into Australian dollars. You may recall my tears in H&M a year ago, when I could only fit into their size 24 jeans. This skirt is an 18, so that was a pleasant surprise.
I feel so flat and blah, I can’t pretend to be excited by this stuff at the moment. I know I could have bought that skirt six months ago and it would have fit. I really haven’t lost a damn thing this year. I keep writing these kind of entries, have you noticed? It’s this endless cycle of motivation then moping.
But don’t think I am giving up. I just need to figure out how to change my situation.
Better put in something non-whiny so you don’t all think I am pathetic and never come back. Made a nice quick dinner for my dear boy last night. I’m always struggling to come up with vegetarian fayre with my limited imagination, but then I remembered something one of my beloved Aussie friends used to make.
3 tomatoes, chopped
1 avocado, chopped
1 small red onion or 3 spring onions, chopped
1 can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 tablespoon cumin powder (more if you like it spicy)
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
handful chopped fresh coriander
juice of a lime or lemon, or a generous lug of the bottled stuff
ground black pepper to taste
Mix all that up in a bowl, cover and let the flavours mingle for a hour or so. Then serve in some tortillas with lettuce, grated cheese or whatever you feel like. Or serve as a side with a grilled chicken breast and some salad greens if your boyfriend is a carnivore. Or just eat on its own. Very summery and light and quick! Hurrah.