These are either 1) the calorie-dense foods that you can bullshit yourself into eating excessively by focusing on their flimsy bit of nutritional merit OR conversely 2) foods with poor nutritional merit that you bullshit yourself into eating excessively because their calorie content is low.
Fry's Turkish Delight
Small bar (approx. 3 x 1.5 inches) of turkish delight coated in delicious milk chocolate. Only 185 calories and 3.5g of fat. This falls into Bullshit Calories when you say, "Wow, that's only got 185 calories and 3.5g fat compared to the 40g fat and 1500 calories if I were to eat that 100g block of Green & Blacks chocolate!".
Well of course if you're going to compare a punch in the nose to having a family car dropped on your head, one scenario is clearly more favourable than the other – but that doesn't necessarily mean the punch in the nose isn't going to hurt you. Especially if you get three of them.
High in calories, high in fat, but absolutely packed with health. Nutritionists say three brazil nuts a day is all you need to get a healthy dose of selenium, magnesium, and thiamin. A handful of almonds provides calcium and protects against heart disease. Walnuts ain't too shabby either.
But do you think I can stop at three brazils? And what's a handful of almonds look like? I've got quite a hefty hand. I have the ability to gnash my way through dozens of nuts and seeds in a typical work day, far above the suggested servings. My colleagues ask me if Polly wants a cracker, and I shout back at them with pulverised pecans clinging to my gums and trapped between my teeth, "But they're good for you!".
Marks and Spencer Greek Style Natural Yogurt & Greek Cherry Compote
I love for Marks & Spencer and their ridiculously over-named and over-priced products. Right before our Baltic trip I'd ran out of yogurt for breakfast and grabbed one of the above on my way to work. I cannot resist anything with cherries. I knew full well that the compote was about 2% cherries with half a pound of sugar, but surely that was balanced out by the goodness of YOGURT? Everyone knows greek yogurt is good for you, it has acidophilous and snuffleuphagus and all that healthy bacteria. The 310 calories in this product clearly come under the category of Bullshit, but this didn't stop me scoffing another three of them last week.
So what are your favourite Bullshit Calories?