The Old Block

Greetings, comrades!

Apparently this here blog and some other Fat Busting Blogs were featured in an article in the Scottish Herald recently. I did answer some questions for the journo but didn’t hear back, nor did I remember to check the bloody paper! Did anyone happen to see it? I can’t find it online anywhere. Also if you stopped by after reading it, be sure to say hi!

. . .

86.4 kg this week. Oooh, I ate so much rubbish! It started out like this whole The Husband’s Away So The Mouse Will Play thing. Then it was scoffing Free Food! at work then I raided the biscuits at home whenever SC wasn’t looking. Not good! So I vowed to stop and get back on track.

Then a box arrived from Australia. My mother had sent over: three packets of Mint Slice biscuits, a bag of each fun-size Cherry Ripes and Crunchies and two 250g blocks of Cadbury Marble chocolate.

WHY had she sent me this? I had not asked for it. She knows I am a dedicated fat fighter. However, she had bought all this stuff to send my sister for her birthday, but the parcel got to London but was never delivered, so it got returned to Australia! By this time mum had re-purchased all the goods to re-send, so she now had double quantities. Being on a roll with her own health kick at the moment, she wanted it out of her house. Instead of papping it off to friends or colleagues, she forked out $60 to send about $10 worth of crap to me! Don’t you love her logic?

Luckily I have lots of expat friends who’d dive on the stuff. I set aside some Mint Slices and the Crunchies for some pals, the Cherry Ripes and one Mint Slice for me and the Scottish Companion, then took the 500g of Cadbury’s to work for my glutinous colleagues.

Here’s where it got dodgy. I was all set to dump both blocks on the communal Free Food! table when I thought, "Dude! This is Cadbury Marble! And AUSTRALIAN Cadbury Marble which tastes much better than British. Your mum sent it all the way over and you’re going to give it all away!?"

So I only put out one block.

Sometime in the afternoon, when my colleagues had nearly polished it off, I serruptiously opened the second block. For the next couple of hours I’d break off a bit whenever I could discreetly reach down, grope around at the foil (rustle rustle rustle!) and snap a bit off. Ooh it was delicious. And slightly melty, since Monday was a scorcher.

But then I had a huge freaking scary mother of all flashbacks to the days of yore when I kept a giant stash of chocolate in my desk and I would feast away all afternoon thinking no one would notice. Did I really want to go back to the days of a drawerful of chocolate crumbs?

After work I headed straight to the gym. Once dressed for my RPM class I took the now half-eaten chocolate bar, scoffed a final two squares for prosperity, declared the binge officially over, then went to shove the rest of it into the trash can. Except it wasn’t a trash can, it was a NAPPY DISPOSAL! A giant wave of stink lept up and assaulted my nostrils. Why does baby shit stink so much more than non-baby shit? What are we feeding our children? So I ran out of the bathroom screaming and found a normal bin and finally disposed of the chocolate once and for all.

From now on, Cadbury’s Marble Chocolate will always be associate with the stench of baby crap, so I am hoping that has squashed that craving for good.

I have made a wee pact with myself. If I am going to eat anything Not Particularly Healthy, I am only going to do it in the company of others. If you took away all the shit I ate in secret last week, my diet was actually perfectly nutritious. So from now on, no sneaky solo calories. This is my new RULE, and a rule I must follow like I must show the conductor my ticket on the train; like I must drive on the left side of the road or not steal things or kill puppies. IT’S THE RULE!

Soo, RPM! I did go to my class on Friday, hurrah! I was so nervous I thought I’d vomit. My cunning plan was to leave work early and take the 5.15pm class, thinking that the Nubile Gym Bunnies would not yet have commuted home therefore not be there to intimidate me with their cool disregard and co-ordinating outfits. Instead the crowd turned out to be equally nubile school teachers! Of course, who else gets home that early? But then I reminded myself that I’d done that stinking 5k race that I never thought I could do, so I could surely handle this. Instead of my usual tactic of hiding up the back I marched up to the instructor, introduced myself and told her I was new. She helped me adjust the bike seat and soon we were off.

Holy crap, I loved it! The 45 minutes flew by. I was amazed that I kept up with everyone. It was actually fun! Not a big drag like that Spinning class I’d tried two years ago. Les Mills classes tend to have great music and RPM was no exception. The songs really suit the pace of what you’re doing, whether it’s a sprint or a "hill climb". And since the class is relatively short, you can really push hard with the resistance level on the bike. At the end of the class I was pleasantly knackered. The instructor said I’d done fantastic and it was obvious I’d worked really hard. I grinned and thanked her, then looked in the mirror and saw my beetroot glowing face. Obvious indeed. It was just as red as it goes after a run! HURRAH! This means RPM passes the exertion test. It was great to finally get in a good cardio workout – this was the first real challenge I’d really had since the 5k.

My bod was pleasantly hurty on Saturday, so I was all fired up to go back. I went again on Monday, post chocolate scoffing, and enjoyed it even more. It was a different instructor, she pushed us harder and had more to say about technique. I’ve decided I’ll need to be careful on the bits where you "stand up" on the bike to make sure my knee doesn’t cop all my body weight, but it’s been alright so far. And I dunno what I’ve done differently but my crotch didn’t get sore! I must have figured out how to arrange my butt on that seat better. Hmmm.

So there you go, another Fitness Fear conquered. Tonight I am going to the 7pm class before Body Pump, with all the Nubile Commuter Bunnies, so this will be another wee challenge in itself. I will get there early and hide up the back!

28 thoughts on “The Old Block

  1. Hey, I bet the lack of soreness is because you had someone help you adjust the seat on the bike. I just brought my bike into the shop and they helped me adjust the seat. WooHoo no pain even after a 3 hour ride!

  2. Your fearless approach to the RPM class sounds great! You motivate me to try one. Also that Rule-Wow. I have the same sneak and eat habits- especially since moving in and marrying my husband. thanks for the idea. -Vicky

  3. From now on, Cadbury’s Marble Chocolate will always be associate with the stench of baby crap, so I am hoping that has squashed that craving for good.

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA! ::wipes eyes:: Oh, man. That’s a good one.

    If I am going to eat anything Not Particularly Healthy, I am only going to do it in the company of others.

    You and me both, my sistah. The secret sneaky snackies are just no good.

    Yay for the fun RPM class! I’m terribly jealous. Want gym! Want gym nooooow! Waaaah!

  4. Oh, but for the sneaking and the hiding and the chocolate in the drawer, I would not be climbing my own weight loss mountain today. I always thought of sneaking around as symbolic of not wanting people to know what I truly desire, as if guarding my desire made it more likely to be realized (NOT!), but maybe I’m just a sneak at heart. I have the same Rule of not eating crap in secret, which I am following 90% of the time (progress not perfection, etc.), but I’m 100% on not killing bunnies, scamming free rides or driving on the wrong side of the road, so that’s something.

  5. oohhh I love cherry ripes. Now I got all needy for some candy.

    I dont really understand the differens between the RPM class and a spinning class. Ive done 2 spinning classes now and I cant say I love it but it is good excersise.

    About the butt thing and not hurting. One also get used to the seat pretty fast and then it doesnt hurt anymore. I have a bike that is very hard and after a few times on it I dont feel the seat.

  6. I have the no chocolate in secret rule too, if I’m going to have it it has to be un-furtive chocolate. Or ice-cream. If I have something unobserved, I still make a point of telling my man “I had a milkshake today”…just so I absolutely cannot build up a guilt-ridden secret life of gobbling junk.

    I’m still afeared of the spinning type classes, my knees complain far too much, even sitting down!

  7. It’s a rule to not kill puppies? (KIDDING, of course!)
    DG, that is GREAT about the RPM class. Good job on that, and on the chocolate-chucking.

  8. I have a friend living in Wales who is from Australia – and she’s always getting these goodies sent to her. They are foreign to my American senses and sound so delectable. LOL. I think you made my mouth water.

    Good for you, that you tossed it. Okay, so maybe it would have made you happier if you hadn’t eaten it at all, but at least now you have a yucky association to give it. πŸ™‚

    I think it’s the baby formula, btw. I used to change diapers professionally. Actually, the breast fed babies had yuckier diapers. LOL.

    Oh, and yes… no sneak eating. That’s one I’m still learning. What is it about eating something on the sly that enhances the flavor??? Ugh.

    Great post… thanks for sharing this because I need to remember to not eat unhealthy stuff alone!

  9. This was inspiring. I need that rule, especially as I have been losing and gaining the same blinkin’ pound since THE FOURTH OF MAY. I’ve just checked my records and am very annoyed by this. That’s two months!

    But I’m happy you liked RPM. I meant to post something on the last entry regarding post-bike soreness – I used to get it at the start of every new uni year (when I would start cycling after a summer off) but it only lasts a couple of days, and then you somehow adapt.

    And the chocolate story makes me both laugh and gag gently. I think I’m going to try visualising chocolate as solidified baby poo the next time I see some… maybe that’ll put me off.

  10. Sneak eating and free food has been my big slip up this week as well. Grrrr must stop.

    I HATED it when I tried the spinning class- didn’t want to say so last week. Possibly I was not fit enough when I tried it. Will try it again when I have lost a bit more though.

    mmmmm Cadbury chocolate NO must not!

  11. I am with Meg on this. Having a current nappy bin filler in my home, everytime I change a nappy I am going to think of chocolate – thanks!!. I has definitely put me off my craving.
    Have a great day. Well done on your workouts and your mum is a laugh sending all that stuff. My mum did the same when I was in the UK πŸ™‚

  12. I think everyone is guilty of sneaking food from time to time. We did not get the way we are by only eating the right things in public but it is a great idea. NO HIDDEN SWEETS… Just public sweets? LOL

    I cannot wait until I have dropped some serious pounds so I can try all of the neat classes you have been mentioning in several blogs. If I can ask, how small were you before you ventured into the classes? I am still over 300 pounds so I am not near ready yet but I have something to look forward to at least! πŸ™‚

  13. This is one great blog and you are a true hero. i read your posts and grin, it has happened to me, it is happenong now and i am not alone.
    Brave athena; all the best

  14. Oh, I like that rule about the no sneaking food! I think I could live with that one! Spinning is a great form of cross training for running, so you’ll see an improvement in your running ability if you keep it up. Here in Canada, we have “local” Cadbury’s, but it’s not the same as the stuff from the UK (which we can get in specialty shops). But yesterday I saw the horror of all horrors: a Cadbury Thin bar, which is a thin, 100-calorie bar of chocolate. It was right at the checkout counter, so perfect for an impulse bar. They are obviously targeting women who are looking to satisfy a craving while not blowing their diets. I will definitely have to stay away from those! I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that it’s the crappy Canadian Cadbury’s – not the real thing.

  15. You are so funny! Here here on the eating in front of others only. I am exactly the same. I did it again just this lunch. I was happy to get a chicken sandwich and eat it at my desk, but at this particular place I only ever get their mouth watering snitzel roll. I always feel really guilty ordering it and cringe if I see anyone I know and there is no way I would eat it at my desk for others to see. Oh no, hidden in the lunch room for me. Yet I happily ate the chicken sandwich in front of my collegues. Something about the psyche isn’t it?

  16. I’m with you completely on the “no secretive eating” thing and I think I need to make that pledge to myself as well. I know that I’d never eat as poorly if I had to do so in front of others. You’ve also inspired me to give Spinning a try while I’m at the health spa next week. πŸ™‚

  17. Moms are weird creatures indeed! But gotta love them, cos eventually we become weird creatures too some day!

    Your decision to eat the treats in public is one useful one. I think I will copy! I usually eat them with my husband, but perhaps I should be more open when I splurge to our friends too!

  18. Evil mothership!
    Aussie Cherryripes are the best. And I cannot believe you chucked the Cadbury Marble. I am not that strong. I would have finished it then promised not to be better. I just can’t think about wasting yummy chocolate like that. Once it’s in my possession I must eat it. The trick is not to buy it, I’ve found. (I know you didn’t buy it.)

    I visit the NZ shop in London 3 times a year and allow myself to go a bit mad – Easter, birthday and Christmas. Other times of the year: kiwi chocolate is banned.

    I’m so glad you enjoyed RPM. I went last night and had such a good class. I love the way my body feels all flexible afterwards. Is your gym using RPM 27 with the remixed Inxs ‘New Sensation’ track?

  19. HA! Now you’re a spinning addict… Just watch yourself – I get super, unreasonably bitchy if my class is cancelled or my train is late (I take the 0623 now just so I can get to the gym at 0700 so there is no chance of me missing the 0730 class!). Hehe.

    Though inline skating for me is even more addictive. I think it’s SO unfair they are having Live 8 in Hyde Park this weekend so I can’t go skating… WAH!

    BTW – I’m the biggest person in my spinning classes, but I’m also one of the best – being the competetive person that I am, I wondered why other people weren’t sweating as much as me. Mentioned it to an instructor and he said that a lot of the ‘gym bunnies’ don’t turn their resistance up, hence the lack of sweat.. Hmmm.

    Happy Canada Day everybody! (I’m a Canadian living in London waiting to sell the house in Northampton so we can move to Melbourne…)

  20. Go Shaua Go. Keep up the RPM class – even better get a bike and ride somewhere as fast as you can.
    Also next time the crap food turns up. Don’t debate. Cuck it inthe bin.

  21. hehe baby crap, you crack me up but THE RULE sounds like a good one so stick with that! and you pedal hard like youve never pedaled befooore! show those nubile commuter bunnies whos boss, you could CRUSH them with your madpedalingself. have faun πŸ˜‰

  22. I’ve been waiting to hear your thoughts about RPM. So glad you had a good experience both times and plan to keep it up. I’m pretty crazy about them myself. Then again, I could be a bit biased. πŸ˜‰

    To save the knees in the OTT (Over the Top, aka “out of the saddle”) position, make sure that your butt is basically hovering over the top of the saddle. Don’t stand straight up. It’s more like a squat over the saddle. That way the knees never come out over the toes and, thus, keeps your knees from hurting. Plus, make sure you have enough resistance while in the OTT position. If you don’t, your knees will take a beating. It’s actually HARDER to do the OTT position with less resistance than it is with more resistance. Because of the whole knee thing, of course.

    Keep up the great work, girl!

  23. Oh yea that Cadbury is YUM!! I’m an aussie and it’s sooo tempting with all that chocolate [my total sin food].

    Woohoo @ the RPM class, you’ve totally convinced me to swallow my fear and join the kickboxing class at Uni. Oy I can just imagine what kind of girls are gonna be there too. The RPM sounds great tho.

    Keep up the great work ;D We gonna get new updated photos yet????

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