Black and White and Read All Over

There are a number of ways you can be awoken on a Sunday morning. With a nice cup of tea. Or a bacon roll. Or a vigorous shag. OR seeing your big mug inside the biggest tabloid newspaper in Scotland.

So there's me and my long-suffering husband on page 22 of today's Sunday Mail with the headline NET LOSS. I'd wondered if they'd go for the whole Fat Chick Loses Half Her Body Then Finds Love! angle, and they did. The article turned out nice, I met with the journalist last week and she was lovely and easy to talk to. It felt so weird to be blathering about my lard-busting adventures out loud, instead of sending text into the faceless coccoon of the internet. I was trying to drink a cup of tea and be articulate during the interview when I really wanted to spew from nerves. So thank you, Julia Hunt, for being so nice to a hapless amateur!

I have been running around our flat all morning in a grand panic, wondering if anyone at work reads the Sunday Mail. I am hoping they're more Herald or Observer people, so I don't get anyone coming up to me in the kitchen and saying, "Whoa! You were pretty lardy, eh?". Also one small inaccuracy in the article that will baffle anyone who knows me is that it says I'm a graphic designer, when I am actually just the secretary what types the letters and makes the tea. I told the journalist I'd done a graphic design course after my degree, then worked as web editor, so this where the confusion must have arose. So if anyone from work is reading, YES I am still your faithful admin monkey. I'm not designing brochures and business cards on the side or anything like that.

One thing I do do on the side is write, and as the article mentions I contributed to a book called Tales from the Scale. So if you came here via the article and want to read more, you can buy it Amazon right noo!

Meanwhile, my good ol husband is crying with laughter at the Before photo in the article. Now before you send him hate mail, he is not laughing at me per se, just the bizarre way they chopped me out from the background of the original shot, then wrapped the text around my bulbous disembodied form. I just sort of hovering there on the page, Jabba the Hut style. They chopped the birthday cake out of the picture too, leaving only the flaming sparklers on top, so it looks like my guts have exploded.

It's mortifying to see yourself floating there in a national newspaper, yet the more I stare at it the funnier it becomes. But I'm still going to punch him if he doesn't stop cackling soon.

The Blob!

26 thoughts on “Black and White and Read All Over

  1. Wow, sounds like things are fantastic there and at least the article was a flattering one!

    Take care and by the way, you looked awesome in your article… and your arms look good too! hehe… bye for now,


  2. Ahaha that’s fantastic! You must have thousands of readers now, after Tales from the Scale and all this press! The Shauna solo book deal is coming soon, I can feel it…

  3. You know when you tell people “oh, you’re a star”? Bloody hell, Shauna, you ARE a real star now!!! Great article, it’s going to inspire lots of people.

  4. At least he is laughing with you and not at you!! You have come so damn far that I could literally fly to Scotland to get on the plonk with you to celebrate how dedicated you are. And who knows, one day when I am rewarding myself for a similar level of dedication, I may just buy a ticket to the land of kilts!!

  5. Excellent article Shauna.

    I am pretty gobsmacked at the amount of us that met our current partners ‘online’. It still amazes me that we can find and marry our perfect match on the other side of the world when 10 years ago you would have to be an avid traveller to do so.

    You could be my twin sister in the ‘tummy sparkler’ picture. We’ve the same colouring, same hair colour, everything!

  6. I didn’t meet him online! I met him in the pub in Edinburgh. Happened to be a friend of the wife of a friend I originally knew online, but don’t think that’s quite the same.

    Jude – Ha! Surely this is the last of it!

    Cheers for your comments, folks.

  7. How wonderful!- you are now one of those “success” stories you used to trawl the internet for 🙂
    I am sure that many of us can say your site is one that we look for tips.

  8. said it before and saying it again
    you are so brave to do these interviews. I would never ever do them. Im to shy for that. I wan my privacy and still I know that it is a good inspiration for others and you are a huge inspirations for so many. I love to read about other people being successful but I would never dare myself.

    and btw, I think you look good on the before picture too. You are a very pretty woman.

  9. Bravo Shauna!! I am so happy for you that all these lovely things are happening to you.

  10. Congratulations! Have you any word from “Self Magazine” in the US? Let me know if they say hello!

    I have been reading for awhile…and read back quiet far as well and I hadn’t thought you met Gareth online…but that article did make it sound like it…I met my husband online…but we didn’t get married till this year on our sixth anniversary and I didn’t agree to meet him until I found out we actually ran in the same circles and had never met…funny going to parties her was invited to and see my friends there…and vise versa…

    We are all proud of you and you deserve all the success in the world…you have worked really hard…not only to loose weight, but to write your wonderful blogs and entertain and motivate so many!

  11. You might end up in the dear old Herald and Post before you’re done… Then you’ll officially be a native. I’ve been in it twice, and I’m really not very newsworthy.

  12. “I just sort of hovering there on the page, Jabba the Hut style.” … Thanks again… as usual you are hilarious…

  13. I think it is so cool that your DH can be sitting there cackling at you and you wait to tell us before smacking him. LOL. Smack him I say.. Everytime I read I am amazed at your honesty, your humour, and your wit. You are a star. Have a great day 🙂

  14. I meant to also say; nice idea for the update photo! Over in your photo section…finally! Peoples nagging for a new one was getting tiresome 😉

  15. Shauna, I loved your essays in Tales from the Scale. You are a funny, and talented writer. The book inspired me to start a blog of my own. I am so impressed with your incredible transformation. You are beautiful. All the best with your new husband. I was married in Las Vegas too.

  16. Oh sorry possum, the article did make it sound like you had met Gareth online. Or per’aps I just read into it wrong.

    My sincerest apologies.

  17. Holy crap, this had me cracking up.

    “leaving only the flaming sparklers on top, so it looks like my guts have exploded”

    You’re so funny! I’m actually reading Tales from the Scale as we speak and just happened across your site while I’ve been avoiding doing work.

    I love it, YOU ROCK!

    🙂 hopefulloser

  18. They seriously did butcher that photo didn’t they? You have come so far, congrats Shauna. You are our diet blog celebrity!

  19. Wow, that’s so cool! Congrats to you, and next time I buy a book it’s going to be that one! I can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  20. Hi Shauna,
    My ex was googling me and linked me to your website. It was really funny reading comments about what you thought of the article/ interview. We don’t normally get that much feedback so I’m pleased it wasn’t too traumatic. Sorry if people now think you’re a graphics designer, a minor confusion. It was a real pleasure meeting you and perhaps a few books down the line we will see you in Hello.
    All the best,

  21. I’m looking at your sparkler-tummy before picture in this post, and even there, in your before picture, you are so lovely. And you didn’t even know it, did you? One of the ways fat contorts our self-image.

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