Five Years of Dietgirl – Part I

Welcome to the Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl 5th Anniversary Spectacular!

On Monday 15 January 2001, I put down my family-sized chocolate bar and hauled my hefty bulk onto a scale in Canberra. The earth gently trembled and my wacky adventures began.

I know everyone is tired of reflections after New Years, but I couldn’t let the anniversary of the world’s slowest weight loss journey go by without commemoration. Five years of relatively dedicated Lard Busting! Five years of relatively dedicated writing about it!

(And lest anyone think I am just indulgently rehashing past glories, let me assure you the fat fighting efforts continue in the present. I lost 0.7kg [1.5lb] this week and all is going nicely.)

So hereby I declare this week the official Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl 5th Anniversary Spectacular Week. Catchy, innit. First we’ll be Vaseline-ing the lens to take a fond look at the past five years. I’ll then briefly waffle about Things I Have Learned, before finishing up with a HILarious collection of photographs on Thursday.

. . .

Today it’s all about 2001.

Dedicated geeks may recall that Dietgirl actually started in October 2000 on Blogspot, when I embarked on a weight loss venture code-named This Time For Sure. But it proved to be rather half-hearted. When I didn’t see progress on the scales I gave up in a huff, and instead devoted three months to gaining more weight.

It wasn’t til I joined Weight Watchers on January 15 that I realised that my efforts may not necessarily been as crap as thought – I was so heavy that I exceeded the capacity for my normal bathroom scales by a good thirty kilos. The numbers hasn’t changed because I was well off the dial!

I will never forget that night I joined WW. Every time I read that old entry it makes me want to honk great tears. All the humiliation and anger and hopelessness come flooding back. I remember how they had to fetch the Extra Weight to hang on the clunky old fashioned scale so it would be big enough to weigh me. It took them ten minutes to find it, because they’d never needed it before. It was buried under a pile of old cookbooks in the cupboard.

Then after another ten minutes debating how you actually attached the weight, the scale now could handle all the way up to 160 kilos. So I hopped on, clang bang clash, and weighed in at… 159.2. That’s 351 pounds to the unmetrical.

Bloody hell. I remember thinking later on, how the fuck could anyone weigh so much? How did that happen?! I wasn’t just two people stapled together, I was two fat people stapled together.

But I also knew that that had to be the lowest of the low points, the only way was up; etcetera, etcetera.

In 2001 I threw myself into the Lard Busting Task with dazzling single-minded determination and dedication. Which was easy to do, as I’d become such a hermit at the peak of my lardiness that I truly had bugger all else going on in my life.

The first step was to come to terms with the massiveness of the task ahead of me. In other words, figure out how to move on from the shock that I’d become seriously obese. For years I’d simply ignored how I was too puffed to tie my shoelaces, unable to climb the stairs, yet capable of eating four McDonalds Super Sized Value Meals per week. But then I uncovered a stash of old chocolate crumbs in my desk drawer I realised, "OH RIGHT. That’s how it happened."

I was so full of optimism and focus that first year. I was a big fat weight loss MACHINE. My Monday routine was set in stone:

  1. Eat like a bird and pee like a motherfucker all day
  2. Jump on the scales Monday nights
  3. Race home to faithfully record weight in a little table
  4. Immediately report to Dietgirl HQ.

I used to loved pouring over my statistics, and calculated that if I continued in the same vein I’d be at my goal by my 25th Birthday in November 2002. Yeah! No worries mate!

My main struggle was learning how to exercise. It seemed impossible that I’d ever learn to like it. I knew it was important, but was painfully self-conscious about making such a large body do stuff.

I started out walking on a treadmill at a mighty 4.4km/h (2.7 mph) and worked my way up to 5.5km/h (3.4 mph). Eventually I got brave enough to try a fitball class, then weights, then Body Combat, then Body Pump. By years end I was truly hooked and began to realise there was more to weight loss than numbers and scales. It was also about health, toning up, getting fit. And glaring at blonde bitches skinnier than thou.



  • Discovering that my boobs were finally bigger than gut, and fitting into a bath again! All in the one day.

Towards the end of the year I began to get thoroughly fed up with Weight Watchers. I’d managed to lose around 40 kilos, but had gained a skerrick of confidence and self-esteem. All that exercise was making me smug and Bolshie. I wrote after a small gain:

I didn’t get upset, I didn’t cry, but I made a brief statement of justification to the WW leader and the weigh-lady, describing briefly my rigorous weight-training schedule and the subsequent "fucked-up-ness" of my performance on the scales lately…

… I was thoroughly disgusted at myself for being such a whinging git. Why the need to justify that pissy little gain to them? Why do I need to justify anything? Week after week I see people at WW get on the scale and gain and say "Oh, it’s that time of the month, wink wink," or "Those chocolate biscuits were calling my name!" or "I didn’t have time to exercise!" or whatever. Excuse after excuse. I guess I just wanted everyone to know that I AM NOT LIKE YOU PEOPLE! I bust my ass at this weight-loss caper so don’t go thinking I am gonna give up! I am not one of you! I am not making excuses!

So it was time to flee the nest. Strike out on me own! What possibly could go wrong?!

. . .

Next up: 2002 and 2003 Revisited. Are you excited? Are you trembling with anticipation? Don’t forget, the more you tremble, the more calories you’ll burn.

31 thoughts on “Five Years of Dietgirl – Part I

  1. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DIETGIRL!! This is going to be fun. I’m going to enjoy reading your summaries of the past five years. You have come sooooo far, you are such a bloody inspiration, words cannot describe it. And the fact you are a great writer and it’s such a hoot to read you, just adds to it! Oh, and the award for “world’s slowest weight loss journey” will go to me in the end. Don’t get too anxious about wearing that medal just yet!

  2. Good lord – I cant believe it but I have literally just spent the last three hours reading your blog – skipping through random entries from start to finish.

    Im sure people tell you this all the time but this is honestly one of the most awesome blogs I have ever read!

    Keep it up and good luck!

  3. OMG I have never commented on your site before, but when you linked to the Boob entry, it brought back memories! I must have bookmarked your site the day you wrote that entry, cos for years everytime I opened your page, it was via a link that said “Unnaturally Perky & Upright”!! I will always associate that with you πŸ˜‰ Anyway, didn’t realise I had read your site for so long, bit creepy hey…but well done on achieving so much (weight related and otherwise!) and good luck for the future πŸ™‚

  4. Whee — looking back with DG!!! Great entry, and I can’t wait for the rest of the week!

  5. I’ve read your entire site over twice in the past…methinks it’s time for another go-around. CONGRATULATIONS on not only the weight loss, but all your other achievements over the years as well. These truly have been Amazing Adventures, Dietgirl!

  6. Congrats! I just looked at your pix and you’ve done amazingly well! I do WW and love it. It’s the only “lifestyle change” that has worked for me.

  7. I’m so glad to read all about this first year of yours. I’ve had restart after restart after restart. To see how far you’ve come makes me realize that it can be done and I’m not just kidding myself. (I pore over the Web for stories like this, which is what inspired me to finally start my own blog, but every single new story just helps to bolster me further.)

    Congratulations on five years of Dietgirl!

  8. ha!
    you do not know how to count!
    73 kilos LOST in 5 years is 14.6 kilos a year in average!
    This is NOT the slowest weightloss in history darling. This is an ACHIEVEMENT with all letters in capitals!
    Here….I said it!
    I see red when I dont hear you say how much of a legend you are!!!!!
    (20 more days…Im getting EXCITED!!!!!)

  9. All these links reminded me of the day(s) I read all the archives on your blog. What a bnch of memories–and I guess I could spare some time soon to do that again, since said entries were all oh so enlightening and helpful.

    You’ve truly come *very* far, when we look at it. Took 5 years? Doesn’t matter. It’s better to take 5 year, lose slowly and understand all the processes (the ones to lose and the ones to gain), than to go through some flash-diet and find oneself regaining everything afterward. (This said, argh, the good habits aren’t alway that easy to take, and ‘a few weeks’ isn’t enough to learn!)

  10. Happy anniversary dietgirl. I really enjoyed reading this entry as I wasn’t reading in 2001. The fitball entry really cracked me up.
    I’m feeling virtuous this morning as I was at the gym just after 6am and had a really good workout. Still the scales not dropping and I know that must be down to me…
    You are an inspiration and proof that hard work and persistence does pay off. I wonder if, thinking back to the old dietgirl, that it feels like someone else?

  11. Argy is so right – 14.6 kilos a year is over twice as fast as I’m going! (Not that I’m complaining…)

    And you have come such a very long way. And I don’t mean halfway round the world, although that too. Still! 2006! All the best.

  12. there’s something a little extra special about the 5th, congrats!! you may think its been the slowest loss in history but i think you’ve done amamzingly well and you continue to do amazingly well. Cant wait for the revisit to 02 & 03 πŸ˜€

  13. Spectacular, spectacular! I always get emotional reading your stuff… In a good way. <3 And your posts undeniebly verify the fact that a good sense of humour is what keeps this messed up world going. Thank you for everything. Trough your stories I can experience things I never else would. Just super. Hungry for more tho! ;-D

  14. Your blog is amazing diet girl… I love your humour (and can relate to the darker side of comedy).

    I have recently taken to my fridge witha whiteboard marker.. “hey porky… step AWAY from the fridge” and other such useful comments.

    Truly amazing to read your story so far. I’m a binge eater from way back… however once I decided purging afterwards was a bad idea… well did I ever explode.

    I weigh something like 115 kg… I think. When I went to the doctor to ask for a referal to a dietition, i panicked when she wanted me on the scales, so she did the “ok you just look straight ahead thing”… I had to ak if it had been a plus on my 110kg estimate, she confirmed and I spent the rest of my day trapping my wonderful husband into saying that I was fat. oh joy for him!

    I can’t wait to read the rest,
    take care and all the best you fat crunching dynamo

  15. Dietgirl, happy anniversary! Had I not strayed off my treadmill back toward that false paradise of super nachos and frozen custard, I would’ve celebrated my four year anniversary on the 15th as well. Today’s just as good as yesterday, though, right?

    So…gonna follow your initial “Get up, pee, eat like a bird” this week and see if I can reclaim whatever it was that propelled me to lose that extra assage in the first place.

    Thank you, thank you! And congratulations.

  16. I must have read a thousand different “new year” posts but this one is the best by LEAPS AND BOUNDS. I love this website, love it love it love it. Guess that means that in a creepy Internet way I love you too.

    I absolutely cannot wait for your next post. Really. And in other news, I used the word “tremble” in my own post today. I find it to be so underused!

  17. I have read your complete archives 2x and I get some much inspiration and enjoyment out of your writing. I love that you are reviewing your journey! You Rawk ;).

  18. OMG – five years, you legend! Just think that is five years of being the boss of food and five years of NOT gaining. That’s damn fine.

    Arrghh… I don’t think I could handle WW weigh ins. I remember when I went as a kid. We’d get there dead early so I could get weighed before anyone else got there.

  19. Congratulations! Five years well spent IMHO. A lovely woman such as yourself deserves nothing less than all the health and energy that your dedication can bring to you. I may not be fat blogging anymore, but I’m still fat busting and I’m still getting inspiration from you. Cheers! Debra

  20. Yay DG! I’m looking forward to this walk down memory lane. I’ve been a faithful reader for so many years and whenever I need a little inspiration I always go back and read through your archives. Congratulations on all you’ve accomplished!

  21. honestly you look amazing and have come such a long way down such a tough road… and really it’s impressive how well you are continually doing considering how bloody cold scotland is and how uninspiring the healthy food can sometimes be there!!! good on you….

  22. Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I’m linking your site from my own health/weight loss site. I was a regular reader during my previous weight loss journey (2003/2004) and I’m looking forward to reading again now that I’ve recommitted to this process — especially this fun “anniversary” series!

  23. Hey Shauna, I’m loving this rehashing of your old entries. You have come such a long way. I’m just disappointed that I had a break and stopped losing weight for so long and let you get ahead of me. But watch out now, I’m back and on your tail. 2006 will see us both out I think. Then we can move onto other interests such as food blogging πŸ˜‰

    And I’m not sure if I told you that I’m rowing surf boats competitively now. And I thought pump classes were a buzz!

    Well done on such a great achievement and I am soooooooooooooooo looking forward to the day that you make your goal. Then we’ll see some tears.

    with much affection

  24. If you don’t write a book about this that would be a total shame! Please, please write your own novel so that I can buy it.

  25. Wow dietgirl…
    I must tell you I have been really impressed by your blog: it all sounds so familiar it hurts.
    No, I have not been pushed from my family to diet: on the contrary I have been quite chubby, fact that has really made uncomfortable with others. Yes, I have been heavily bullied at school, yes I never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy before university, yes I would never got to the seaside.
    And even if I never weighted more than 70 kilos (I am exactly your same height), I am still fighting with my weight. I am sitting at 60 kilos today and I will not be happy until I get down to 50. Why? I do not know. Maybe just because this is the avarage weight of a model my height… maybe because I am from Milan, a VERY image driven city. Maybe because just when I will be sure my overly thin (little medical problem there) bone structure will be matched by a general lack of meat, I will be happy.
    I have still 10 kilos to struggle with and I wonder if I will ever get there.
    And then, if I ever do, will I be able to stop? Or I will want to get down to only 45 kilos?
    I just wish I had been born a boy…

  26. I’ve been here for a couple of hours now. Its an awesome resource. I’ve just started my diet blog/journal. Ive been blogging for a while now about other topics, but I figured it was time to kind of come clean with everyone and have a place to voice my frustrations! Thanks for your posts and your stories!

  27. I don’t have that much weight to lose, however the struggle is just as difficult. I have been wanting to lose about 35 pounds for years, lost 17 then gained them all back + some. I am inspired. If you can do it why can’t I?

  28. My mum bought be a copy of your book about 3 years ago, before my son was born, and I read it cover to cover in about 24 hrs. It was amazing and I’ve now come seeking more inspiration from you as I kickstart another weightloss expedition. I weigh 92kg and I want to lose 30 of them! Thanks for showing me it’s possible!

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