Bad Mood Rising

Hello dearests!

A day of rest seems to have helped the ol’ arm a tiny wee bit. I was such a miserable bastard on Saturday. Being physically unable to write was utterly depressing. I didn’t realise how much I depended on it as my outlet. I had things to say! I had Book Stuff to do! And since even old fashioned pen and paper were painful, I started to panic thinking I’ll never get this stinking project done and I’ll never accomplish anything and never be more than the typer of someone else’s letters. Oh comrades, it was a truly wild pity party.

I was convinced chocolate would make me better, but luckily we didn’t have any. Instead I had a wee homemade jam biscuit and spent the weekend being a hermit with the Scottish Companion, watching Northern Exposure Season 4 episodes and the most thrilling MotoGP race ever. I also ventured into the Real World twice to go to the gym.

I’m seeking medical advice on Wednesday. Woohoo…

. . .

The tedious trudge to the Finish Line continues. The scales are showing unpleasing numbers this week. You know what? Screw the scale. I know it’s evil. It’s just that I have this desire to officially reach a healthy weight/BMI. Don’t write and tell me I am obsessed, just please try and understand that I am really anally retentive and I’ve always been a huge nerd for numbers and statistics. I know that the journey doesn’t end at goal, but please just understand that after working on this lard busting project for over Five Long Years, there has to be a proper conclusion.

And not even being too fussy about the numbers. I’m only wanting to reach THE TOP of my healthy weight range for closure’s sake. After that I will just simply continue living the same healthy lifestyle I am now, and the numbers can settle wherever they bloody feel like. I want to tie this up this part of the process in a neat little package.

It’s a good thing I employ so many non-scale methods of measuring progress. There’s no way I’d have lost all this lard if it had only been about the scale. I set myself challenges. I have all manner of spreadsheets. I have plenty of variety and balance. But at this point I must focus even more on the non-scale stuff. I will pretend the scale isn’t an issue and get busy making a healthy life even healthier. The numbers will budge when they’re good and ready.

Here’s a few of my current dorky challenges:

  • To beat my slowass rowing machine speed record (currently 2km in 10:15)
  • Resume Operation Push-Up (I’d graduated from 0.5 to 2 proper full push-ups before my shoulder died. WOW!)
  • Master the stability ball segment of Cathe CoreMax (currently can’t do it without falling off and crashing into the telly!)
  • Learn to ride a BIKE.

Oh people! I bought a bike on Friday! It will be ready this coming Saturday. I have invested a nice chunk of funds into a piece of machinery that I don’t know how to operate. Holy crap! But I have done other things before that scared the crap out of me and I survived so let’s bring on one more. Variety is the spice of life.

Anyway as you can see I have plenty of stuff to do rather than faff about with the scales. I’d best get on with it then. Hope you’re all well 🙂

23 thoughts on “Bad Mood Rising

  1. I don’t think you’re obsessive-compulsive at all! I live by my spreadsheet and I figure as long as I’m meeting my monthly goals at least I’m becoming a more fit woman. Whether I’m less fat or not is another story.

    I’m also thinking of getting a bike. I *do* know how to ride, but haven’t in a very long time. My dad takes the prize for sinking money into a piece of machinery he couldn’t operate. He bought an airplane before he learned how to fly it.

    Love your blog … you’re an inspiration!

  2. You’re not obsessive, I can totally understand. People have been telling me lately I don’t need to lose more weight and it shits me. I want to get to my healthy weight range too, damn it.

    The bike sounds fun. I’ve been thinking of getting one but I’m awfully scared.

  3. Oooh, a bike! How fun! I bought a bike last year, rode it once, and returned it. I realize now that I shouldn’t buy a bike just because it’s pink. It should be a bike that fits my body, not some 12-year-old! So……is your bike pink? I’ll be totally jealous!

    DG, I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come, and you are so close to your goal. Just keep on keeping on. I love your attitude about it, and I’m gonna steal it for my own!

    Good luck with your shoulder, too.

  4. So what kind of bike did you get? (My bike is purple. And very old. I’ve had it since I was 13 and it’s seen better days, but has done me well).

    You might want to wait to start riding it until the shoulder feels better – and make sure the handlebars are high enough until the joint’s totally back to normal. Which I hope it will be soon.

  5. I tried to ride a bike once and ran straight into a tree. Apparently I have issues with parked objects. Best of luck to ya!

  6. Hi DG, I don’t think you’re obsessive either. My weight loss drives my life right now. It has to be that way because if isn’t, I’ll fall off the wagon. Congrats and my hat goes off to you for all your past and future successes.

  7. Good luck on the bike riding! I do not know how to ride one either. My dear husband is determined to teach me this summer. Imagine how many more calories I could burn just riding to the grocery store!

  8. Hope you have fun with your new bike! I looove biking – going fast is fun. Might want to avoid any streets with cobblestones for the first little while…

    I think your challenges are very worthwhile and not dorky at all.

  9. You’ll love the bike, once you get over being scared by going! so! fast! Check out the innocent railway bike path in Queen’s park, there’s a great spooky long tunnel at one end of it, right next to the Commonwealth Pool.

    My husband and I dumped our gym memberships this weekend, we have barely used them in 2 years, we keep trying to think of ways to get more time outdoors…and we both own bikes. So we’re going to get a bike rack for my car and actually go places and ride them. He wants me to learn to mountain bike. You know, up and down steep, lumpy, uneven trails. I’ll get back to him on that one.

  10. Exercise has always been your saviour Shauny and if you can just do what you’re doing with the fitness assessments then I have no doubt that the bloody horrible scales will fall into line. You’re on the home stretch now my friend.

    (I am now an 80’s girl. 20kg down Whoooohooooooo!)


  11. *I* need to resume operation pushup as well! I had gotten up to approximately 8 full ones before I got lazy again last fall. ARH! @ laziness!!

    P.S. — I went to Scotland (from America) in 2003, rented a bike and spent the next 9 days riding about the country on those bike trails you have. It was FAB!

  12. Well done on getting a bike. I can’t imagine not having one. Here in the Netherlands we do everything by bike, you would be surprised what you can transport with it! Once, completely drunk in the middle of the night, I found a really nice chunky wooden chair by the side of the road. I hauled it up on my bike and cycled home. The next morning I had no recollection of it at all and was surprised to find the thing in the middle of my living room. It was so heavy, I could hardly lift it. My roommate (who had been slighly less intoxicated) told me how I had gotten it home after our night out.

    Another one of my bike adventures involved a weeping willow and a bottle of wine. I was invited for a party and decided to buy the hosts a nice present for their garden and a bottle of expensive wine to go with it. Unfortunately the plastic bag with the bottle got stuck in my front wheel and I slammed into the pavement right in front of a crowded pub (how embarrassing!). I pretended nothing had happened although my trousers and shoes were drenched in red wine and the road was scattered with glass. However, the weeping willow, which I also had hanging from my handlebar, had miraculously survived the ordeal.

    I think I must have my 8th bike by now. They tend to get stolen a lot in Amsterdam by junkies who sell them on for 20 euro’s. I must admit that, as a student, I did buy a couple of cheap bikes as well after mine would have been stolen. I know that it keeps the system of theft alive, but at that time I regarded it as a sort of ‘recycling’ system. Now that I earn money, I buy second hand bikes from a proper shop. You see? I am getting older and wiser!

    So I hope that you’ll enjoy cycling as much as we do over here in our flat country. You can have bags and bags of groceries hanging from the steering wheel while also having your Scottish companion on the back. My only advice would be not to have a bottle of wine dangling in a plastic bag!


  13. Good luck with the bike. I love mine. I’ve had it for a few years (4, I think) but I only ride it during the summer months as I’m a bit scared of the possibility of icy roads and being drenched. But, that said, I really enjoy getting on it and heading off for a ride. I’ve got a special comfy saddle that’s both sprung and padded. The lovely man from the bike shop (Cycle Asylum in Manor Park, London) threw it in for free. I’ve got to get the bike serviced one of these days s that I’ll be able to ride it for the summer (tyres are flat and it will need an oil) and hope to fit that in on the weekend.
    I’m sure you’ll love it.

  14. Woohoo! Congrats on getting the bike — buying mine was the best thing I ever did. There is a learning curve and you will get banged up and bruised in the beginning, but hang in there. It took me a few weeks to feel totally comfortable and confident, but I got there.

  15. Regarding the weightloss or lack thereof, you’ve lost an ENORMOUS amount of fat already. The equivilent of one and a half Hollywood starlets, at least. Maybe your body just needs to adjust, ya know?

    Fat isn’t just padding. There’ve been studies published here in the USA, and most likely Britain as well, saying so. Apparently Fat also produces hormones and such. (Sorry, no, haven’t any links.) And think of all the rearranging that your internal organs have to do now that all that yucky stuff is gone. Golly.

    Your body will start losing again eventually. Just you keep up the good work feeding it healthy food and fun exercise.

    A bike! OOOOOooooooooo! I’m sooooo jealous. I WANT a bike!

  16. I feel ya on the mild obsession with numbers thing. I’ve lost a lot of weight myself (not as much as you DG!) and even though my doctor tells me I’m healthy and just need to maintain, I REALLY want to get into that ellusive ‘normal’ place on the BMI. After sitting at ‘obese’ for so long, it seems natural to want better than ‘overweight.’ I’ve calculated that 24.9 on BMI would equal 132 pounds and that’s my goal. Silly, I know, but at least it gives me some sort of stoping point I can cling to.

    I’m also curious to know what I’d look like at 132 as I’ve NEVER been that weight. Even at age 12 I was 150-something. I just crept down to 148 and I was SHOCKED by all the oddities I discovered from just those 2 pounds–more lines on my face, a deep indent on each big toe, being able to cross my legs AND have them fit under a table (that was a biggie).

    I realize now it’s not about numbers so much as venturing into completely new body territory. I’m also working through some emotional mindfields I seem to have been shielding with my layers of 20 year old fat (I’m 32 and this fat has been here for 20+ years!). It’s so exciting–my real goal is to be able to sit cross legged on the floor, comfortably, without my toes falling asleep.

    On a side note, I picked up Tales from the Scale and recognized your voice before I connected the stories with you DG posts! The narrative voice, the story itself and calling fat ‘lard’ seemed so familiar, but I didn’t put it together right off. Now I’m half way through and delighted to find your voice in a whole new format. Good luck on more writing–I’ll be ready with my credit card for an advanced copy!

  17. Regarding the rowing machine record … Concept II (they make rowing machines) has a great website – with training and technique tips, workout ideas, and if you like numbers online rankings for various distances including 2km. Speaking as a geeky and obsessed rower better form will do wonders for dropping your time …


  18. OH MY GAWD Nic. i wish you left an email so i can thank you properly. that sounds FANTASTIC and something i can obsess over!

    thanks lovelies for all your comments 🙂

  19. DG, I’m watching that corner number…80,50!!!! Just concentrate on getting healthy, the numbers will come down…then again, eeeeee!!!! Little scream for you being so close to 79 :-). Once you learn to bike you’re going to have so much fun (besides cheap transportation) you won’t be thinking about that scale anymore.

  20. Doing real push ups is a sign of true fitness mastery, so now I have another reason to put you on my list of Most Inspirational People.

  21. I can binge on anything and in the long run though I still love an obsess over food.
    I am still learning about food and eating.

  22. That rowing site was great Nic. As a rower who is currently in off competition season and using the ergo regularly, I found it a compelling site.

    Shauna rowing is soooooo hard but builds really, nice leg and shoulder muscles. My muscles are still covered in a bit of blubber but they are straining to get through.

    Technique is everything and it is really important to get it right. I was training beside a fit man the other day and he kept looking over to my monitor. He eventually asked me how I was ‘pulling’ more than him. My reply was, “Technique.” I then showed him how to use the machine effectively and he found it a bit easier.

    Smugness knows no bounds.


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