Shauny Get Your Gun

Dude, I’m a top athlete. I’ve tried two new sports in the past week!

Well I dunno how sporty these sports are. The first was clay target shooting. It was part of that whole team building thing. There were 14 of us shooting and I was the only chick on the day. Normally it doesn’t both me how testosterone-heavy my workplace is, but as soon as I had the stupid gun in my hand I felt so out of place and wimpy. And I was soooo rubbish! Out of 25 shots I only hit one stupid bit of clay, and that was only because the instructor told me when to fire.

He was a nice enough bloke, encouraging; but a tad patronising at times. He’d tell me to lift the gun higher, that I should be able to do it because it was only four pounds. Grrr. I’d began the day with a positive attitude, determined to Have A Go and all; but as it dragged on I let my confidence dissolve and just wanted to go home. I was cranky at myself for being so crap at it, and for letting myself feel intimidated. Grrrr.

I also just didn’t like the feeling of brandishing a weapon, even if it was just a clunky old shotgun. The recoil made my dodgy shoulder burn. And I couldn’t help thinking of how hard it was to hit a target, and how there were millions of people out there with guns who may be as just a lousy shot than me. Scary!

When we were done the instructor said how well we’d all done! We were naturals! We should come back for further coaching!

But then he added with a grin, "Except for you, Shauna. I don’t think shooting’s your thing. Maybe you should try waterskiing or something?"

I’m sure shooting would have been my thing if I could shoot at close range. I wondered if he’d volunteer to be my target.

Tuesday night’s sport was far more dainty – Aquarobics!

The lovely Lainey once again gave me a guest pass to my old Fancy Gym, woohoo! Good lord, I felt like a right dork, splashing and thrashing and kicking and jumping. It didn’t feel at all grueling at the time, which disappointed me as I like my exercise to be torturous and humiliating.  I said to Lainey maybe I would give it another chance when I turned seventy. But my muscles were singing when I got out of the pool, and even more so the next day. I will never be quick to scoff again.

(My stupid knee hurts too, despite me being sooo careful during the kicking. I’m not going to even talk about my knee on here because I’ll only get cranky. Let’s just say I had hoped I’d be capable of far more than 20 minutes of plodding, resistance-free cycling and would be well and truly back Spinning and Body Combat-ing by now, but alas, I am not. Which really makes trying to bust lard So Much Fun.)

. . .

I was saying to Lainey afterwards how cool it is to meet up with someone for exercise, instead of eating. Social engagements so often revolve around food. There’s always a cup of tea, at the very least. And maybe some cake. Or twenty beers. Then a curry. So it’s good to catch up with a friend and do something good for your health at the same time!

I used to prefer the company of food to people. I’m currently reading Marian Keyes’ book Under The Duvet and there’s a story about her being an alcoholic. She writes about how the addiction grew and grew, and she crossed the line from drinking too much when out with mates, to preferring to stay home and drink too much by herself. It was much easier and she could avoid the scornful stares too.

Oooh that story was a real slap to the chops. I realised I’d one reached that point with food. When I’d go out for dinner and try and think of an excuse to leave so I could buy a second dinner on my way home. When friends would come over I’d wish they’d leave so I could get on with the leftovers and stop pretending everything was just fine. Or when I finally stopped contacting friends altogether, so I could draw the blinds and be alone with my food. I didn’t want people around, getting between us and looking at me with disgust. Happiness was a two-litre tub of ice cream and spoon, and the comforting knowledge that the pantry was loaded with more of my good friends — chips, bread, chocolate and cheese. In case the ice cream wasn’t enough.

I’m just glad that I prefer people again.

20 thoughts on “Shauny Get Your Gun

  1. WELLLLLL another fat feeling in common, ginger nut! My favourite was eating breakfast before I left home, then getting where-ever and saying “Ohhh I haven’t had breakfast” and being able to pig out. Then leaving that friend, getting a big morning tea, meeting another friend and saying “God, I haven’t eaten ALL DAY” and having a huge lunch. I think sometimes I had about 7/8 main meals per day…the secret life of the binge eater. As for clay man, you should have said “Yes, it’s a pity teaching aint your thing, CHUMP!”

  2. Its so nice that other people have done the same as me. I used to regularly eat half a loaf of bread cut in to huge hunks then spread with butter and jam swilled down with milk before going out to eat a meal with friends or family – and then eat the other half when I got home. It wasn’t the huge amount of bread, butter and jam that worried me so much as that I always preferred the bread, butter and jam ‘snack’ over and above the meal with friends or family because I was eating alone.

  3. Oh, yes. Privacy is definitely a huge part of the ritual. No meal out with friends is half so rewarding as the odd meal I craft alone. Part of my weight “recovery” plan is to begin to enjoy food with people and to learn not to be ashamed of what I want. That is the beauty of WW for me: everything in its proper proportion.

  4. I am with you on the gun thing. As a child I used to go off to YMCA camp in the August holidays and one time the whole cabin wanted to do target shooting and I was deadset against. Somehow I knew it wasn’t for me. I think I was 8. Actually I always used to have irrational nightmares of someone breaking into the house and shooting everyone – like that was ever going to happen in NZ in the 70s… So we get to the shooting range and i really don’t want to do it but they are all keen on participation and basically bully me into stepping forward and as soon as the gun is put in my hands I burst into tears. Then they let sit it out. My partner loves clay and target shooting but I will never do it. Never.

    I also related to what you said about the book and alcohol. I have a friend who came to the UK a few years ago and everything with her seemed to revolve around alcohol. Now I like a wine as much as the next person but she never wanted to go to restaurants or the theatre or whatever – always the pub. We had both been fairly boozy in our early 20s but I grew out of it and I guess she never did. in the end I just didn’t like spending time with her in the pub anymore and she preferred to hang out with the types that everyone else tries to sit as far away from as possible. So I thought a lot about that line between having a good time and being an alcoholic. And yes, you’re right to point out that food addiction is exactly the same.

  5. I read that book recently, & she had some real pearls of wisdom in there. When DH was away for a duration I would treat myself to a little nightcap after my 2 boys were in bed, but I realized how very easy it isto become addicted to alcohol.
    BTW some people take up a hobby, like knitting, where you need to use both hands & you won’t progress if you have to keep stopping to feed your face.

    PS I hope your shoulder isn’t too sore – I’ve never held a gun in my life either. I nearly laughed at the pediatrican the first time she asked me if we had a gun in the house. No way, I replied. Keep moving, & keep laughing, Shauna.

  6. I find normal aquarobics pretty boring too. But if you can find a deep-water class, it’s worth a go. You wear a aqua-joggin belt and can’t touch the bottom – that one makes you work!

  7. hehe… nice one PQ πŸ™‚

    Sue – That sounds really good! The pool we were at is only a wee one, and quite shallow, you can stand up the whole length of it. We’ll have to find deeper waters!

  8. I really don’t think shooting is your thing – the guy was being a dick and you had a gun in your hand… I’d have been like – dance, teacher, dance!

    I’ve always wanted to try shooting but I don’t know if it would be a good thing for me to do. I’m bad enough when I’m wearing a pair of boxing gloves. My son won’t come near me!

    I so want to shoot things now!

    The deep water classes are great. I used to do them. You really use your core trying to stay afloat. At the time, I had zero core strength so I’d bob around the pool like a cork.

  9. I have done Aqua Aerobics for over a year now – and i love it – But you have to push yourself – its easy to take it easy in the pool – just try and do everything twice as fast as the 70 year old and with more bounce and vigour and you will be suprised at the workout!!

  10. Hi there Dietgirl!
    Have been reading your blogs for a while now and enjoying every minute.
    Totally agree with you about the sad git you had the misfortune to have as your instructor at shooting practice. He sounds like a bully. When I meet (or hear of) people like him I’m soo glad I believe in karma.

  11. That guy was a jerk! Probably has a small dick and has to compensate by playing with guns all the time : )

  12. I am just getting into the deep water running and I have to say that I love it and the results are starting to show.

    It is amazing how food was the be all and end of our world. I use to go out to dinner and think about what I was going to have to eat, worry that my meal was smaller than the other people around me and then once back in the car think about the nearest take out place that was open so that I could get another helping. I woke up thinking of food and went to sleep thinking of food and all parts in between. It is an addiction. It is a way of life. It is scary when you think about it.

    However, in saying that we are all changing our lives for the positive and getting over our addictions. Kudos to all of us!!!


  13. would someone mind writing a wee bit more about deep water running? google is pretty vague πŸ™‚

  14. I’d want to shoot that damn instructer too, prick. But you gave it a go and aquarobics hey, I’ve always wandered what that was like. LOL at that comment about not eating people. I’m glad you prefer people again too πŸ™‚

  15. So i’m curious if you actually had a lightbulb moment re: yr relationship with food, or did you work thru it with someone, or…what? One day at a time? I’d love to know from someone who HAS beaten it…

  16. Hi Diet girl

    I have seen your blog on soooo many others lists that I had to come and check you out. I am so glad I did you are such an inspiration and I can see soooo much of me reading your posts.

    Thank you

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