Then I’ll Have Me Fish

Tomorrow is Good Friday! WOOHOO!

I’m not really a religious sort but Good Friday has special significance to me. My stomach, specifically. My friend Jane makes the most incredible hot cross buns on the planet and for the past three Easters we’ve got an email a few days beforehand inviting us over for Annual Bun Day.

I think her trusty recipe comes from an Australian Women’s Weekly cookbook. Each year I look forward to that moment when I walk into her flat and get smacked in the nose by that cinnamon fug. And there they are, fat and shiny and snug in a heavy old cake tin. There’s always heaps of butter and endless pots of Earl Grey Tea. I think I ate a good half dozen buns last year.

I thought there wouldn’t be an Annual Bun Day this year as Jane gave birth to a handsome baby boy just ten days ago. But yesterday we got The Email. It’s ON, baby! I couldn’t believe it! Baking would be the last thing on my mind if I had just popped out a sprog. I’m awe of my friends and their commitment to Easter traditions.

Good Friday is also about fish. I have many miserable memories of Good Friday, sitting at the dinner table long after everyone else had finished, whinging and stabbing at congealed fish with a fork. You’d think if we had to pretend to be good Christians once a year, we could have had fish fingers or something easy to digest. Why did it always have to be sensible fish with bones and stuff? Wah.

But I discovered a whole new level of piscine loathing on Good Friday 1999 when I was working in the fish and chip shop. Good Friday is the busiest day on the takeaway calendar, naturally. I had been promoted to Chief Fryer and fried 480 pieces of fish that day. We kept a tally on a chalkboard, smeared with flour and grease. It was 35 degrees inside the shop and a good ten degrees higher over the gurgling oil. And I was a hefty lass by then, so you can imagine how bloody exhausting it was. I never wanted to see another piece of fish again. But somehow I managed to fit in two pieces of fish and extra large chips for my dinner, being a good Catholic and all!

Speaking of fish, I have to tell you about Danny. He was a supremely buff bloke featured on Baby-Faced Bodybuilders the other night. Yes, the wacky dudes at BBC Three again. At the tender age of seventeen Danny managed fourth place in the Mr Universe competition. It involved a helluva lot of hard work, sacrifice, fake tan and FISH.

If you have a spare minute or two, please go to the website and click on the link in the top right-hand corner that says Watch Clips – Baby-Faced Bodybuilders. A wee video player will pop up so you can witness Danny, deep in thought as he outlines his daily meal schedule while he’s preparing for competition. It’s the most unintentionally hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. Gareth and I cackled when we saw it on the telly and have watched it a dozen times since and I love it more every time. Or maybe there is something wrong with me. Oh well.


Whether you’re into Easter or not, have a great weekend everyone! See you on the other side of my carbohydrate coma.

14 thoughts on “Then I’ll Have Me Fish

  1. That was a cheering entry! Mmmmm… hot cross buns…

    I can tell you the last time I ate fish: it was in October 1996. It had been cooked for me by a kindly French hostess. It was probably lovely if you’re not a vegetarian (the kind that doesn’t eat fish, obviously). I was too polite not to eat it. It had bones. And eyes.

    I guess I’ll just stick to the cottage cheese…

  2. Have a lovely Easter Shauna – and enjoy every wonderful mouthful of those home-made buns! *drools*

  3. That body builder clip is totally hilarious. Is it for real? My other half was convinced it was a wind up!

    The funniest bit is the way he pauses as if he’s trying to remember what he has: “then at 2 o’clock I’ll have …… fish”. Yeah, it must be confusing remembering what you have at each meal out of fish, fish or fish.

  4. Ah… Danny’s cute! I’m sure that in a few years time his words will be made in to one of those Creature Comfort animations.

    Have a lovely Easter and enjoy those buns.

  5. happy easter to you all toooooo…

    fluffie – it’s totally for real 🙂 it’s his sincerity and deep thought that gets me every time. like he’s trying to remember what time he eats… and it’s every two hours. and it’s always the fish. oh man.

    but he was a lovely guy and obviously very much into his bodybuilding and prepared to go to any lengths to succeed. including having fake tan applied with a roller before his competitions. hehe.

  6. Happy Easter, Shauna!! I also made Hot Cross Buns yesterday after mixing up the dough on Thursday afternoon. And I use the trusty AWW recipe. I don’t bother glazing them as I want to eat them asap. Have a good weekend!!

  7. The fish are more powerful than anyone knows. They’ve already taken over my labels box. You have been warned.

    Hope you enjoy your hot cross bunnies.

  8. 480 pieces of fish?!? You must be kidding…hehe. Memories like that are really comforting – I would not trade my memories from when I was a waitress and bartender for million bucks! Take care XOX

  9. HI Shauna
    how were the hot cross buns? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    thanks for the comment – I can tell you how to get legs like that – sit in water and let the miracle of refraction do the rest LOL
    BTW my cheapo no-brand mp3 seems to have survived total immersion and lived to play another day! Now I must back up the songs immediately!!!

  10. Oooh, bun day sounds devine. I can smell them already! I can’t see the video at work but will try at home…480 pieces of fish!? That would have turned me off too. So how many buns did you have? 😉

  11. It’s great to hear I’m not the only one making AWW hot cross buns year after year to the great delight of their friends and family.

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