Righto! Today I give you neglect, decay and minimal nutrition. The lovely Tanya of I Ate A Pie told me about her Show Us Your Fridge contest and I almost declined knowing the toxic horrors contained in ours. And because the fridge light doesn’t work.
Then I thought I could spend three hours cleaning, grocery shopping and artfully arranging and look like a right domestic goddess. Instead I’ve taken strategic pictures to hide all the gunk and dodginess.
Gareth bought this fridge freezer in 2004 and we just realised that it’s never been defrosted. I think of all the times the Mothership had me scrubbing the seals of her fridge with a toothbrush and hang my head in SHAME!
Here we have in the butter drawer thingy three packets of low fat mozzarella. It’s one of the few cheese I will eat in low fat form. We put a dollop of red pesto on a tortilla, chuck on chopped up onions, peppers, mushrooms and olives, tear up a ball of mozza then whack under the grill for lazy pizza. But even that seemed too much effort lately, so they are dancing towards the use by date at a rapid rate.
Out of focus jam collection! Each jar has a half-inch of dregs in the bottom. Gareth and I went through a phase of taking peanut butter and jam sandwiches on our hillwalking expeditions but now he’s totally "gone arf it", as they say in Scotland. I’m still into it though, especially the Meridian blackcurrant spread stuff on the right there, it’s sweetened with apple juice instead of sugar. I think it was Smaller Sue who blogged about fruit spread and light cream cheese on toast and got me hooked… looks revolting but tastes bloody fabulous.
Condiments! Ancient mayo and mustard plus neglected oyster sauce. Earlier this year I went through a tofu stir-fry obsession, painfully wholesome with ten kinds of green vegetables and marinated grilled tofu. Gareth never ever complains about my cooking but finally he begged me to stop, saying it he couldn’t face another "Communist stir fry".
In the background is a sample sachet of Fair Trade coffee that I got about a year ago. I’d sent away a coupon for a free sample of luxury of hot chocolate and they sent me a letter saying, "Sorry, we’re all out of the choc but have some coffee instead!" Despicable!
Token vegetables! Aging bag of carrots. Spring onions and tomatoes as we’re both going through an omelette craze right now, trying to recreate the gobsmacking delicious Mexican omelette we had at Elephant and Castle in NYC. It’s got guacamole and cheese in the middle. Phwoar!
And in the other butter shelf thingy, a block of feta cheese and an American Milky Way bar. I don’t know what it is about American Milky Way bars that sing to me. They’re like a Mars Bar, except milder somehow. These days I am a wee bit snobby about my choc and would usually choose Green and Blacks over the corny syrupy and palm oiled. But I dragged this souvenir Milky Way bar all the way back from New York. Tonight I enjoyed every one of those 260 calories with a cup of tea a few minutes after taking that photo 🙂
Finally we have two bottles of Williams Bros beer. Gareth has become somewhat of an ale connoisseur this past year and I can’t tell you how bloody elated I am about it. He’ll sit there on the couch with some fancy beer in a fancy bottle on a Friday night while I tuck into a sweet treat and all is right with the world. The relationship feels balanced. I am not a freak! For years I’ve seen his bemused and bewildered looks as I lusted over chocolate bars and bakery windows, but now he’s got an obsession that contains calories too!