Cold Hearted

Righto! Today I give you neglect, decay and minimal nutrition. The lovely Tanya of I Ate A Pie told me about her Show Us Your Fridge contest and I almost declined knowing the toxic horrors contained in ours. And because the fridge light doesn’t work.

Then I thought I could spend three hours cleaning, grocery shopping and artfully arranging and look like a right domestic goddess. Instead I’ve taken strategic pictures to hide all the gunk and dodginess.

Gareth bought this fridge freezer in 2004 and we just realised that it’s never been defrosted. I think of all the times the Mothership had me scrubbing the seals of her fridge with a toothbrush and hang my head in SHAME!


Here we have in the butter drawer thingy three packets of low fat mozzarella. It’s one of the few cheese I will eat in low fat form. We put a dollop of red pesto on a tortilla, chuck on chopped up onions, peppers, mushrooms and olives, tear up a ball of mozza then whack under the grill for lazy pizza. But even that seemed too much effort lately, so they are dancing towards the use by date at a rapid rate.


Out of focus jam collection! Each jar has a half-inch of dregs in the bottom. Gareth and I went through a phase of taking peanut butter and jam sandwiches on our hillwalking expeditions but now he’s totally "gone arf it", as they say in Scotland. I’m still into it though, especially the Meridian blackcurrant spread stuff on the right there, it’s sweetened with apple juice instead of sugar. I think it was Smaller Sue who blogged about fruit spread and light cream cheese on toast and got me hooked… looks revolting but tastes bloody fabulous.


Condiments! Ancient mayo and mustard plus neglected oyster sauce. Earlier this year I went through a tofu stir-fry obsession, painfully wholesome with ten kinds of green vegetables and marinated grilled tofu. Gareth never ever complains about my cooking but finally he begged me to stop, saying it he couldn’t face another "Communist stir fry".

In the background is a sample sachet of Fair Trade coffee that I got about a year ago. I’d sent away a coupon for a free sample of luxury of hot chocolate and they sent me a letter saying, "Sorry, we’re all out of the choc but have some coffee instead!" Despicable!


Token vegetables! Aging bag of carrots. Spring onions and tomatoes as we’re both going through an omelette craze right now, trying to recreate the gobsmacking delicious Mexican omelette we had at Elephant and Castle in NYC. It’s got guacamole and cheese in the middle. Phwoar!


And in the other butter shelf thingy, a block of feta cheese and an American Milky Way bar. I don’t know what it is about American Milky Way bars that sing to me. They’re like a Mars Bar, except milder somehow. These days I am a wee bit snobby about my choc and would usually choose Green and Blacks over the corny syrupy and palm oiled. But I dragged this souvenir Milky Way bar all the way back from New York. Tonight I enjoyed every one of those 260 calories with a cup of tea a few minutes after taking that photo πŸ™‚


Finally we have two bottles of Williams Bros beer. Gareth has become somewhat of an ale connoisseur this past year and I can’t tell you how bloody elated I am about it. He’ll sit there on the couch with some fancy beer in a fancy bottle on a Friday night while I tuck into a sweet treat and all is right with the world. The relationship feels balanced. I am not a freak! For years I’ve seen his bemused and bewildered looks as I lusted over chocolate bars and bakery windows, but now he’s got an obsession that contains calories too!

31 thoughts on “Cold Hearted

  1. It must be the day for it! i cleaned my fridge out this morning too. Did you know that you can get black grapes from white grapes if you leave them long enough? Love your blog Shauna

  2. I’m glad we’re not the only one with token, ageing veggies LOL
    YOUR MOTHER MADE YOU CLEAN THE FRIDGE SEALS WITH A TOOTHBRUSH? She would faint with horror at our fridge

  3. He he, how brave to open up your fridge to the world. I think the only time photos of mine ever apppeared were after it was cleaned out completely and even then, I avoided the condiment shelf!

  4. I’ve got a brilliant idea involving international trade: I’ll send you Milky Way bars if you in exchange send me Curly Wurly bars! I love those things!

  5. I have to confess to being mildly disappointed. No Tupperware boxes with something unidentifiable in them that you nonetheless can’t bring yourself to throw out? We’ll be turfing you out of Slatterns Anonymous if you’re not careful!

  6. Good grief girl, your fridge is empty. I have in no particular order. soy sauce,worchestershire,ketchup, sweet and sour sauce, spicy mustard, honey mustard, colby cheese, american cheese, swiss cheese, irish cream, roses lime,roses grenadine, chicken soup base,jalapeno hot sauce,minced garlic, ranch sauce,lime juice, lemon juice, A-1 steak sauce, Heinz steak sauce, and two bottles of wine.
    And that’s just in the DOOR!
    Also, the more I hear about other peoples parents, the more I appreciate my mellow, layed back mom. The only thing we had to clean with a toothbrush was our teeth!

  7. Tee hee-I love looking into people’s fridges too. (I go to the Rachael Ray site just to look at the celebrity fridges she has monthly!) It’s quite serendipitous actually, because I hit the wall with our disgusting fridge on the weekend and spent about 1.5 hours cleaning it out! Scary things in the back there. However, I did not go at it with a toothbrush, so it wouldn’t pass the Dietgirl Mama’s test I guess!

  8. Your fridge looks good πŸ™‚
    oh, and I love, love,love cream cheese and fruit spread on toast.

    My fridge would be a disappointment as it is virtually empty. I abhor grocery shopping, I’m never home so I mostly end up eating out…so my fridge stores bottled water, diet Coke and …mustard maybe, but I cannot be sure.

  9. It might not be hot chocolate but I rather think that’s the Cafe Direct Machu Pichu coffee isn’t it? Which is rather nice itself. And way less calorific. (Well without milk and sugar anyway)

  10. i’ll have to send it down to you then cal, i’m not a coffee person πŸ™‚

    lynda and dana – this is only selected ‘highlights’ of the fridge. there’s tupperware galore too, including a nice leftover wedge of apple strudel that’s turned to sludge. normally i am totally nerd ordering groceries online every week but i’ve been a slackarse πŸ™‚

  11. Oh my God, you shouldn’t have posted a link to the Elephant and Castle page. Everything on theur menus sounds divine and I’m famished! Loving the sound of the mexican omelette in particular – never though guacamole would work but I’m willing to give it a try. Have finished the proof copy of your book and I just have one word. Fabulous!! Inspirational! Wow! Okay, that’s three but you get my drift…

  12. I am so happy you liked Elephant and Castle! I makes my heart warm to hear it and to think of good times had there!

  13. Girl, you have GOT to stop storing your tomatoes in the fridge! It ruins the flavor. Let them sit on the counter at room temp, like bananas, and they will taste much better πŸ™‚

  14. Sell-by date on cheese??? Surely not! Cheese just gets better with age right? If it gets a little mold you just cut it off and carry on! Although maybe low-fat cheese is different??

  15. Your tomatoes will taste a lot better if you store them at room temperature. Refrigeration changes the taste and texture of fresh tomatoes.

  16. hehe i knew people would comment on the tomatoes. let me reassure that they’ve been (sadly) imported from a far away place so they didn’t have any flavour in the first place πŸ™‚

    stub – fresh mozzarella is one cheese that doesn’t get better with age, although i might discover otherwise with this current fridge experiment!

    dana & lynda – this was only selected highlights of the fridge, everything else was too manky! there was a nice tupperware with leftover apple strudel threatening to become liquid, but i’ve cleaned that up now. hehehe πŸ™‚

  17. Bizarre, when I read this I was in the middle of (unwillingly) defrosting my fridge. Accidental buying of pizza meant it had to be defrosted to let things fit in.
    I was taking a pause in the middle of it whilst being grateful for being alive as the fuses had tripped as I was hacking away at the freezer compartment with a big metal knife and I assumed I had sliced through wires in my deathfridge and was only alive on account of the wizardry of circuit breakers.
    I came onto the internet in a spirit of great thankfulness for being alive and was possibly still in shock.
    As it happens I think the light bulb in the fridge just decided to blow as I was defrosting and that tripped everything. Does not lessen my joy at being alive in any way, and I am mightily glad that my white goods are teaching me such important lessons.
    So, now my fridge is spanking clean, half empty, dark and on the verge of being incorporated into my religion. Good times.

  18. Huh! Learn something new every day! I only buy Mozz when I am going to use it immediately, like for lasagna, so I never had the chance to find out the hard way. Thanks!

  19. I knew someone would tell you about the tomatoes so that I wouldn’t have to.

    Called the freezer repair man as I thought we had a seal problem. Had NEVER defrosted the freezer (except when we moved 6 years ago). Man wouldn’t replace seal as he said it would be like stealing – suggested defrosting instead. We have a hot water hose hook-up in the garage – my mother put the spray nossle on the hose and blasted all the ice out – said it was the fastest defrosting she had ever done in her life.

  20. I’ve entered this… and I’m probably setting myself up for tomato comments, too. Personally, I prefer my tomatoes slightly chilled…

  21. I also habitually keep tomatoes in the fridge – maybe it is an aussie thing, as in summer NOTHING is alive after one day outside of the fridge, so you kind of make the connection: cold=alive, room temperature=mouldy/dead food.

  22. oh dani! you have hit the nail on the head there! i STILL almost weep at the miracle of chocolate NOT melting if you leave it lying out, ha ha ha πŸ™‚

  23. hello there, not sure how i found you but well done! i am a fellow weight watcher girl and i am a fellow long time blogger too.good on you for your success!

    d x

  24. Hello.
    I’m 46 mother of three living in Boise Idaho.

    I’m reading your Success of losing weigh that is totally Assume you look great.

    I’m like 200 lbs.5”6 I so want to be tight and in shape. Just needing support from anther person really makes a different.

    I just pulled out Winsor Pilates DVDs; I have know idea when I bought them just stuck under my computer desk.

    I am worried about lose skin to hope I’ll be able to tighten enough.

    You give me hope. Wish you lived closer so we could talk.

    tried to e-mail you and it wouldn’t go threw.

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