Scrag Fighter

I’m in loooooooove with the kickboxing. It’s all I can think about lately. And it’s only Friday today, why must Monday be so far away? That’s when I’ll wake up smiling, knowing there’sonly ten hours til I can kick and punch once more.

It usually takes me ages to get in the mood for exercise; I start out praying for power failures, earthquakes or similar catastrophes so I can go home. But at kickboxing class I’m hyper right away, smashing my glove into my fist with gleeful anticipation. The delirium lasts the whole hour, even when we do six kinds of push ups and torturous abdominal exercises. When I’m waiting my turn to mock-clobber somebody, I bounce on the spot impatiently. I look at the clock and ache to slow down time, so it never has to end. Afterwards, I go home and corner Gareth in the kitchen, then slap him around a bit to show him what I’ve learned.

All that said, I’m pretty rubbish at it. I have trouble interpreting instructions, even when the dude demonstrates the moves. We tried spin kicks last week, and I couldn’t grasp the concept AT ALL. Instead of one simple swivel-then-kick, I wheeled around and around like a discus thrower, not knowing when to let go.

There’s an advanced class after our wee beginner’s one, and those chicks look pretty hardcore. They’ve won proper medals and everything. I don’t really fancy getting that serious, but I’m determined to reach a higher level of bumbling incompetence. So please Santa, bring me a punching bag for Christmas!!)

I don’t know why I’m so hooked; I’ve never thought of myself as a particularly aggressive person. Perhaps, subconsciously, I yearned to be a playground scrag fighter and now I’m fulfilling my destiny. Maybe I can persuade the instructor to hold a class on a football field at the local high school. Someone will yell out “SCRAG FIGHT!”, then a big cloud of students will descend, forming a circle around me and a scrawny opponent. Fight fight fight! I’ll draw some tattoos on my arm with a pen; maybe paint my fingernails with Tippex, so I look extra tough.

(I don’t know what you call fighting chicks in your part of the world, but where I come from they were known as Scrag Fighters, which is just a delicious pair of words don’t you think.)

I was gushing about kickboxing to my friend Gillian at the pub the other night and she said how important it is to find the exercise that really floats your boat (she the QUEEN of cycling), then it doesn’t feel like such a chore. It does take a lot of trial and error – some activities are brief and heated flings (running), some become solid and trustworthy (weight training), some you tolerate even though they can bug the shit out of you (hillwalking) and then there’s the ones that make you feel like a silly teenager drowning in hormones. But persist, persist, persist, there’s something out there for everyone!

. . .

Thanks for your kind tolerance of the public panic attack in the last entry. Of course I felt sheepish the minute I hit “Publish”, but I never get to that point unless I do the crazy writing first!

Stayed tuned next week when I shall be announcing a Highly Exciting Contest which contains PRIZES that might happen to be 397 pages in length. Woohoo!

26 thoughts on “Scrag Fighter

  1. I’m a little behind in reading but I’m so excited and proud that you got your book in your hot hands to enjoy! I’ve been rethinking my exercise time for the same reasons. I did think of your book cover when I tried on the bright blue tights the other week. It did look like something a superheroine would wear. I thought, this is diet girl’s tights, not mine!

    Are you finding the kickboxing hard on any parts of your body, say, perhaps the knees? I’m just curious in my search for exercise that doesn’t seem like a chore too…

    (Maybe we should think of new sports. Like Extreme Shopping?)

  2. I’m filled with childish glee and the thought of a contest. Squeee!

    Your enthusiasm regarding finding the exercise that floats your boat is contagious. Maybe I’ll try out something new this week!

  3. Wahoo! Congrats, Shauna! On hitting your excercise stride again, that is. I’m still struggling to get motivated to do anything at all. I think you’re right about finding some form of excercise that you would do anyway, even without the calorie burning. I just need to find what that is. I could really see myself getting into kickboxing too. But no gym. Hmmmm. We shall see. I’m proud of you and really looking forward to the highly exciting contest!

  4. Scrag fighting – what a delicious term! We used to call fights scraps and everyone would gather round on the way home from school shouting “Scrap! Scrap! Scrap!” If I ever get round to exercising, I might try kickboxing to bring out my inner Ricky Hatton. Or Jean Claude Van Damme. Cool!

  5. I’ve never taken a kickboxing class, but I do tae bo (billy blanks) dvds at home which I imagine are a lot like the classes… Perhaps you could look into some of those for the days when you’re not taking a real class.

  6. This is amazingly awesome. I’m inspired to check out any kickboxing options at a new awesome NYC gym, which hopefully I’ll be able to financially justify joining. I’m rambling, but it’s so exciting to see you so psyched about an exercise!

  7. Hee! At my school in small-town Maine, USA, they were known as Skag Fights.

    It’s awesome that you’ve found your activity. Personally I’d pay money not to have to kickbox, but I’m enjoying the hell out of yoga, running, your dreaded hillwalking, and when the season is right, snowshoeing. Vive la personalization!

  8. there must be some regional dialect coming into play… I went to high school in Northern NSW and I remember them being called “Slag Fights” LOL
    I did a bootcamp the other weekend where we did boxing drills… love it! I like kickboxing as well, haven’t done it for ages – might have to look it up again. You gotten me all inspired!
    Finally…. contest!!! Yes!! Can’t wait to hear the details.

  9. Hooray for exercise that’s fun. As someone who used to hate exercise, I would agree that you just have to keep trying till you find The One (or the several) that you enjoy purely as an activity, not a means to an end… because you need to enjoy it.

    (I have never dared to take a class in anything vaguely martial-arts-like. Still cringing from the day a policeman came into school to talk about self-defence, picked me as a volunteer and told me to hit him. I couldn’t bring myself to…)

    As for superhero tights: I’ve been wanting to buy these for ages now. When would I wear them, though?

  10. Hiya you scrapper you!

    Just read a comment from your last post about a movie.

    Personally I’d like to see Dietgirl in animation form…What do you think? I can see it as a movie or as a series…

    I’m serious.

    Have you been approached or discussed this with someone?

  11. Here we call them “cat fights” (if it is involving just girls)… usually we’ll egg ’em on by saying, “Meowwwww!” or HISSSSSSSSS…. usually followed by a gestsure of mimicking a cat clawing!

    Haven’t been in too many cat fights, just remember one in grade 7 where this annoying bully girl Amy felt the need to kick the shit out of me, which lucky for her, I was in a fighting mood that day and subsequently kicked HER ass, which caught my teacher off guard ’cause I was so shy and quiet. needless to say she stayed her distance from me afterwards!

  12. great to see so much fightin’ going on in schools, worldwide. hehe.

    Kyotokat – That does sound like good fun! I’ve not thought about that sort of thing as yet, as we’re so bloody busy with book itself 🙂 4 weeks to go… eeeek!

    Lori – bright blue tights! COOL! 🙂 kickboxing has the potential to be hard on the knees but I am only in a beginngers class and i modify any high-impact moves, anything involving jumping etc etc

  13. I recently “found” ice skating. I’d skated last as an 8 year old child on a pond and recently took it up so I could skate with my learning to skate 7 year old (I am 38!) I’ve fallen (IT IS NOT LIKE GETTING BACK ON A BIKE!) I’m bruised but I am LOVING it. I look forward to exercising sooo much! I know exactly what you mean – I wake up on a morning knowing I’m skating and I have spring in my step lol.
    Loving your writing and looking forward to your book!

    oh, here they are just “chick fights” (midwestern U.S.)

  14. I understand. I started taekwondo this year. I never knew that fighting people could be so much fun. And in taekwondo you do get the chance to try your moves on other people!!!!

  15. Ooooh DG! Kickboxing sounds EXCITING! You’ve brought it alive for me. Note to self -investigate!

    In the meantime, just caught up with your OTHER posts. Hope you have had no more FG freakouts about THE book. Just as we (the blog readers) feel nothing but awe and admiration for you, the REAL world will too. I am sure of it.

    DG, you rock!!! So if you get the wobbles again, think of us cheering you on from the sidelines!!!


    Big kiss.

    Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxx

  16. Do you get carried away and start fighting stuff around the house after class? Not that I’d do that or anything. I do want the Rocky box set for Xmas though, even though I own all 6 movies because you get a Rocky dressing gown!

    I keep looking at punching bags but I’d need to get a stand because our house is so old the weight might well be the final straw!

  17. Your enthusiasm is really encouraging me to branch out and find exercise I LOVE to do, not just tolerate. There must be something out there for me! And I love the picture of you beating up Gareth in the kitchen – that man puts up with a lot from you, he is very patient 😉

  18. Cor blimey you lot are all tough nuts. We never had fights at our all girls school, so I didn’t know they were called anything specific until today.

    I’m a Body Attack and Pilates girl myself!

  19. Congrats on finding an exercise routine that you absolutely love! I am like that with my elliptical machine… totally addicted. I never thought I’d be one of those weird exercise freaks either… isn’t it great though? 🙂

  20. hi Shauna! I’ve only commented once, when I first found your blog, over a year ago, but I just wanted to wave and say hi! I’m still here, reading. And I still love your posts, they almost always make me laugh. I loved the kickboxing bit- I love it too, but I only do it at home, by myself! Still it does feel rather invigorating, imagining you get to punch and kick someone! I also liked your fridge pics-I dread to think if I did a photo inventory. Our fridges are HUGE here in the U.S.! Things get lost. 🙂

    I’ll be buying your book when it comes out for SURE. It will be FABULOUS. I still need lots of motivation, as I am still floundering with that weight loss crap. Anyhow, thanks for sharing parts of your life- I *heart* your blogs.


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