Gareth is working up yonder in the Shetland Islands tonight so I took the opportunity to eat animals for dinner.
Dr G’s not a militant vegetarian; it doesn’t bother him if I eat meat. I could wear a steak for a hat and play drums on his lovely bald head with chicken legs and he wouldn’t freak out at all. But I too lead the vegetarian life most of the time coz I’m lazy and find it much quicker to make veggie food now. I still love me some flesh, but it’s more of a sometimes food. I kind of play it by ear – every week or so my body suddenly screams, "I NEED FISH!" so I’ll eat some. And then every month or two, out of the blue, I find myself daydreaming about bacon. And/or burgers.
Thus when Dr G got the call to Shetland I said, "Yessss! Flesh night. I mean… dang, you’re going?"
I went hunting in my lunch hour today, pacing between the butcher and the supermarkets over and over, unable to decide. So many animals! So many parts! How do I cook ’em? Could I be arsed chopping ’em up? It suddenly seemed like an awful lot of work and dirty dishes. In the end I bought two lamb burgers stuffed with feta. I put them in the oven along with a potato hacked into wedges. Then I made a wee salad with tomato and peppers and cucumber and oregano; in other words Greek salad without the really good bits. I plonked the salad and the wedges and a burger on a deathbed of baby spinach. You know the kind of spinach, where you spend five minutes picking out the mush and convincing yourself the rest is edible.
The verdict: Very tasty. Very filling. And strange! Flesh has so much more going on than a bean, I have to say. I enjoyed the texture. I’d also forgotten how meat has juices. Beans don’t ooze! Flesh seems to hang around in your mouth for longer. It keeps talking to you, whereas the beans sort of whoosh on down.
But looking at that mucky oven tray, I think meat shall remain a sometimes food. Beans are much tidier specimens. And they don’t give me the weighed down feeling I have right now, five hours later. Maybe it’s the wee ghost of a lamb sitting in my stomach… Whyyy? Why did you do this to me?
Hush little lamb! I’m still going to eat your leftover brother for lunch tomorrow.