Greetings from the Lake District


Dr G and I have escaped to the Lake District this week. Hooray for holidays!

Grumpy I was planning on a week of tea and scones and reading books but of course with Gareth around it's always slightly more strenuous than that. So we stomped up a wee hill and I must confess I did a bit of bitching and grumbling because it was raining and it was windy and it was slippery and there were loose rocks and I forgot to bring my sticks.

My main issue was that it was steep, because who would have thought a hill could be anything but flat and gentle? Honestly it was such a pathetic display that I cracked up laughing at my own ridiculousness. I really do try to like hillwalking for the sake of our marriage, but some days you just can't even fake it! πŸ™‚

Gareth-golf On Monday we played Pitch n Putt golf. I'd not played golf before but both my grandmothers were ace golfers so surely it would be in the genes? Not quite. I came this close to manslaughter charges. On my very first shot, somehow I whacked the ball into the safety barrier net thing, which I still do not understand as I was clearly aiming for the green. It freakishly whizzed through a tiny gap between the net and its metal frame, ricocheting off the frame then smacking hard into the wall of the golf shop… missing the head of a little old lady by an inch!

She had been quietly sitting on the veranda of the wee shop well behind what she rightly thought was the safety of a GIANT SAFETY NET. I rushed over to make sure she was okay and apologised profusely and she really was far too gracious about it. She was laughing! Maybe a brush with death makes you laugh? I would have demanded I buy her a KitKat at the very least.

Meanwhile Gareth had dropped to his knees – I thought he was shaking from laughter but he said it was sheer relief because he saw it all in slow motion and thought I was off to jail, for sure. Holy crap what a terrible moment. Very Nice Lady, if you ever find this website somehow (perhaps by googling "pitch and putt ginger menace") once again, I am so sorry!

Incidentally Gareth kicked my arse, 2 holes to 7.

So I'm keeping things low key for the rest of the week. Thank you everyone who listened to the podcast! We have no idea what we're doing but we're having a lot of fun doing it. Once I'm done with hols and a work trip next week, we'll get cracking on a podcast website and a new episode. Thanks again for giving us a go!


29 thoughts on “Greetings from the Lake District

  1. Oh my god – I would laugh, but it’s something I’d probably do and karma would probably come and bite me on the arse! I love the Lakes, but the hills are a bit … well … hilly! I usually let my mates go yomping off up Hellvellin or something while I go tootle up Cats Bells and play in the leaves in the woods … and then go and get a nice big cream tea to fill the time until they’re back from their mighty hike!

    As for golf …. I’m a menace – sounds like you had an absolutely ace time! I’m off to check our your podcast now, as I forgot to the first time round!

  2. You are too funny, and your life is full of misadventures isn’t it?!! That poor old lady, and your poor hubby worrying about the whole thing!

    I am a total dud at ball sports of all kinds. I’m better than my six year old at softball, and that’s not saying much!!

    Have a safe week.

  3. That sounds awesome. I’m like that with rock climbing. I am the exact opposite build (tall, somewhat tyrannosaurus rex-like in weight distribution) for rock climbing. But I do it b/c my bf needs a climbing partner which means I won’t drop him, but I will bitch and moan about how climbing up a wall attached to ropes is so stupid and pointless and how fencing is so much better.

  4. Hah, know how you feel – I was playing tennis on Monday night and a particularly flail-ish backhand somehow managed to find the *3-inch* gap in the netting between our court and the next and skited through onto the next court, practically clouting one of the angry middle-aged men playing VERY SERIOUS DOUBLES on the nose… most embarrassing.

  5. We got lost walking in the Lake District the summer before last … after I’d asked The Boyfriend “Don’t you think we should buy a map?”

    But no, his unerring navigational instinct was going to suffice…

    Five HOURS, that walk was, until we finally unlost ourselves, and staggered into a pub. And I didn’t get my lunch till mid-afternoon. Be glad you just had a steep hill πŸ˜›

    Glad you had fun, and very glad you didn’t kill any old ladies! Enjoy the rest of your week!

  6. What is it about Gingers and their unfortunate mishaps…I tend to find myself apologizing alot for similar reasons…hmmm…perhaps the red hair causes some sort of vision defect? And I’m with you…when on holiday, I always imagine a nice relaxing time with tea and scones (please to include jam & clotted cream) at a nice B&B…*sigh* I really need a vacation! I’m sending all good wishes for a relaxing rest of your Holiday.


    PS…are you stopping into NYC when you’re over here?…we can always put you on the Futon with the Kitties πŸ™‚

  7. That is so cool that you’re trying new things on vacation with your husband. You may not have won but you came away with quite the story!
    I’m at work waiting out the clock until I can get out of this place. Just a few minutes ago I found myself groveling to my co-worker/Lead because she feels I did something wrong. Explain as I might, it makes not difference, because at least once per day she must make me feel like a twit.
    Okay, enough complaining for me. Lucky I have a job, right? Hopefully I’ll be on vacation in a few months with some zany tale to share As for today, maybe I can get myself off the couch and go for a walk (I’ll probably stay away from the steep hills for now).

  8. I think the best holidays aren’t the perfect ones, but the ones with the best stories. πŸ™‚ You’re off to a great start there! Have a great week and see if you can keep yourself outta jail, hmmm?

  9. You know, once I bowled a cricket ball into the practise nets, and managed to hit the top of one of the poles holding up the net fence. Those things are barely the same diameter as the cricket ball, and yet I bounced that ball right off the top of it! We have talents in our lack of sporting prowess that others just *don’t* appreciate, I tell you. πŸ˜€

    Thanks for the podcast! I listened to it while I got back into the eliptical machine thingy for the first time after the Evil Cold of DOOOOOM that kept me out of action for 2 weeks. Just what I needed. πŸ™‚

  10. Oh dear this made me laugh. Not least because I had THAT SAME holiday twenty years ago when Husband and I were students: the ‘mountain’ as I called it… the ‘gentle incline’ as he called it. Actually, I think the golf might have been in the Isle of Wight and not in the Lake district at all but and I didn’t nearly kill a gracious, elderly woman, the murder charges would’ve been brought about by my own golf skills.

    That’s greatly cheered me up at 6.50am: no mean feat.

  11. Sounds like me ‘n’ D re the hills, except I’m the one lying about how steep/big they are and he’s the one bitching about them! Oh, and I can play golf and he can’t…come to think of it……am I a bloke???

    Love the pic of the dog looking through the window, cheeky devil.

    Lesley x

  12. Oh, I love the Lakes! Walking there makes me feel all poetic like Wordsworth or Coleridge or something. Until I hit a hill, and spry senior citizens with those special hillwalking sticks start overtaking me on the hill, which makes me feel all pathetically unfit!

    Have a great holiday!

  13. I LOVE your blog. Thank you for inspring me, entertaining me, and providing the exceptional reading material for my morning coffee!

  14. LOL at pub dog!!

    I’m sure the hill walk was very reminiscent of another hill walk story where you did lots of grumbling ……

    As for the golfing incident, I’m sure you wouldn’t be up on charges, it would be the stupid Pitch and Putt design team with their massive flaw in the safety net scheme. LOL

  15. I love the Lakes- that looks like Catbells you were climbing. I have read your book and loved it! you are such an inspiration.

  16. Hmm, perhaps the Ginger gene is linked to the Sports skill gene? In evidence:

    1) I once hit someone with the white ball when playing pool. It missed all the coloured balls, whizzed off the table and hit an innocent bystander. I think it hurt. My pain was internal but real.

    2) I caused a whole bar of people to duck when throwing a dart which bounced back off the board and headed back out, boomerang style. No casualties but my pride.

    3) I tried to serve a ball in volleyball, missed the (large) ball on my fist and clouted myself on the nose with my other fist, giving myself a nosebleed. Other people found this hilarious.


  17. Were you faster or slower without your sticks? I seem to remember Gareth doing an impression that indicated a certain amount of slo-mo creeping.

  18. Not to rub in the fact that you forgot ’em, but – out of interest – what sort of sticks do you use? Do you normally walk with 2, or just 1…? I’m trying to decide what, if any, to get. x x x

  19. You’re hilarius!!!! Glad you survived the hill and the golf – really, I’m glad that dear old lady survived the golf! I live about 30 minutes from those hills and I keep promising I will attempt a real walk, but I am dreading the abuse “The Muffin” (my hubby!) will endure. I have to wait until the weather is right and he is strong enough to take it. Hope you have fun on your hols, sweets!

  20. DUDES i’m back home for a day then away for work… so bloody behind with everything. cheers for your comments!

    @Sarah – I use Leki brand sticks. not sure what breed they are but from memory they were the cheapest. hehe. i usually take one if it’s only a wee hill but two if it’s going to be a real biggun πŸ™‚

    @Marla – a little slower, especially on the descent. felt a little lost without my extra legs πŸ™‚

  21. The Lakes District is just beautiful, isn’t it?

    Re: errant golf ball. I’m glad it missed the poor old duck! I once had a horrible jock I did an advertising course with throw a dart that JUST MISSED MY HEAD by a whisker (if I had whiskers). I would’ve looked like Steve Martin in those old shots of him as a stand-up (arrow through the head comedy headband).

    He didn’t apologise, laughed actually at how funny it was he almost lodged a metal spike in my temples, but I would’ve been entirely forgiving if he did and not bitter about it now.

  22. I looked a bit through your archives (I still check in here, every day, I just don’t always comment) for the veggie box posts – I didn’t find them – but that is okay – don’t waste a lot of time looking for me. I remember when you started getting your boxes and I remember you posting pictures asking things like ‘what is this?’ and ‘how do you cook it?’. We just started with an organic box share program (local Amish farmer). We have 6 weeks left of this growing season and then will start again next summer (June first I think). so far I have know what/how with each item. But I am sure if I moved to Scotland – I would not.

  23. I really want to visit the Lake District while I’m living here, but I admit that I have a similar fantasty as you with books, scones, tea, and sleep. This was certainly more adventurous than I would imagine such a trip to be πŸ˜‰

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