Every now and then it rains in Scotland (cover your ears while the Obvious Siren goes off) so I do indoor spinning workouts instead.
Gareth is a big fan of these downloadable workouts called The Sufferfest. Cyclists really seem to love the word suffer. You hear it on the Tour de France all the time, "so and so really suffered on the Alpe du Humungous today". Which is fair enough, coz those Alps are bloody gigantic. Anyway, there seems to a big market for suffering in the comfort of your own home. Sufferfest titles of torture include: Downward Spiral, Fight Club and The Hunted. I can only manage twenty minutes of Revolver ("best for masochists" according to the workout comparison chart) so have parked the Suffering for now.
Instead I'm going with Coach Troy of the Spinverals series. He looks scary on the DVD title (see below) but in the workout he's a really wholesome and All-American "great job" kinda guy. Which means I don't swear at him too much as he fries my legs.
I have not dared venture into that cave as yet. I mostly stick to Sweating Buckets, which is pretty much the wussiest one. The workout takes place in a room full of Real People. They're not all made up professionally like people in Jillian Michaels or Cathe DVDs, which makes it worse somehow. At least when there's chicks with perfect hair, teeth and abdominals, there's an air of Unobtainium about the workout so you're not bothered if you can't keep up. But with Sweating Buckets, you're working with the likes of this woman, who's real name escapes me but I call her Granny, coz Coach Troy mentions she's a grandmother of 6. Overachiever!
Next up is The Judge. I can't remember his real name but he's a retired judge so we call him The Judge. Gareth likes to wander in when I'm pedalling away and ask, "Are you beating The Judge? You HAVE to beat The Judge! Take him down!".
Alas, I cannot keep up with The Judge. Beneath his kind, grandfatherly features lurks the mind and legs of a competitor.