Climb Every Mountain

Well here I am again! I weighed in today and I’d lost 1.23 kilos (2.7 lbs) for the week. Rock!

The scales amuse me so much though. They’re so bloody precise. 1.23 kilos? Puhlease. If I’d taken my watch off I would have lost more.

So the weight is coming off steady again. Still won’t be completely happy til I’m below my lowest Dietgirl weight (115kg). But I am not going to focus on the scale. Gotta think of how my measurements have changed! Last week they did them, and in four weeks I’d lost 5.5cm off my bust, 4cm off my waist and 7cm off my hips! Kick ass!

Another reason for not focusing on the scales is that I’m making a big effort to get back into exercise. The weather is warming up and I want to do as much as I can towards getting fitter and shapelier.

Last Saturday I went climbing up this hill. It’s official title is a Mountain but I dunno. It’s about 2.5 km up, I’ve heard. I started puffing after about 30 seconds, it was so freaking steep. At many stages I thought my legs were just going to give up on me. My calves were burning. Even my butt muscles were sore! But after about 50 minutes we reached the top. Kick ass. Last time we did it, it took over an hour and we stopped heaps more times than before.

The next day, oh god, AGONY! Have you ever had sore arse muscles before? Good lord. What a feeling. You can barely walk! But at the same time it’s very satisfying.

So if you’re looking for a killer workout, climb some hills! It’s an amazing cardio thing, but the steepness of it surely does something for the muscles.

I am not being very funny lately, am I? Oh well. Next time Gadget! Next time.

Bloody Annoying Things About Being Fat

  1. Socks. They just don't bloody stay up.
  2. No matter how fancy your haircut is, your face is still puffy.
  3. The swish swish of your thighs.

There are heaps of other things, but I am too lazy to list them right now. Hehe.

Anyway, this week I've been walking to work. It's only 15 or so minutes each way, but good lord sometimes I find that walk damn hard. Maybe it's because I am pounding the pavement, but I can feel it right up the back of my calves and my thighs. Twang! Ping! Pow!

Perhaps it's true what they say, that walking really is the best exercise there is. I think I need to incorporate more walking into my exercise routine. Now that I don't have a dog, I don't walk half as much as I used to.

I am really loving my Body Combat class again, despite being really really bad at it. Did I mention that when I went off the rails, I didn't go to the gym for over three months? When I finally returned, I'd totally lost my fitness. I used to be able to run and punch and kick for the entire class, not skip a beat. I kept up with those svelte bitches, I tells ya.

But now I find I am stopping to catch my breath, shuffling pathetically from one foot to the other, moaning like a harpooned whale, when I should be doing jaunty scissor steps. And this is an improvement since I first returned 4 weeks ago. Back then I thought I would plain collapse.

It's such a frustrating and sinking feeling to realise you have wasted so much time. Thrown away something that I worked so hard for. And paid for! God, three months gym membership wasted! But I can't turn back the clock. All I can do now is stay focused and not dwell on what was a pretty rough period in my life.

What else can you do but be kind to yourself?

I am going well with the eating, too. Things have been trimmed back back to basics. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but lacked the incentive to do so. Now with the weekly weigh-ins, I want to stick to it and be a good girl. Almost everything I eat is fresh and whole. No more packaged or processed crap. The most processed I get is a can of tuna or a Cruskit. It's all very simplified now. Even when I was following WW last year, I was eating so much hidden sugar and processed chemical artificial shit with all those "diet" foods.

Some days it is bloody difficult, but I know from experience the only thing I can do is go cold turkey. Remember last year when I "quit chocolate"? I went over nine months without a skerrick of it. And if my stupid progress chart was online, you could see that I stopped losing steadily when I started eating it again, even when it was just a small bit each week.

I guess I just have one of those "all or nothing" personalities. I can't just have one itty scoop of icecream. I have to eat the whole tub. And maybe wash it down with a bar of Cadbury's! So for now, I am just going to train my tastebuds to do without it.

It seems to be working okay so far. I had another weigh-in on Tuesday and I'd lost another 3.5 kilograms. This is over two weeks, mind you, and I was flu-ridden for the second week, so I am sure it's a bit of a fluke. But I've now lost over 8 kilos of the pork I gained back.

So I'm on my way now! I am happy with my progress but while ever there's clothes in my wardrobe that I can't fit in to, I won't be happy, coz I know I've been smaller than I am now. But rather that getting cranky at myself, I'll try to channel that into determination and improved kicking and punching!

The Comeback

Can you believe it, guys? It’s yer old pal Dietgirl, finally updating after being incredibly slack-arsed about it for over six months.

Where to begin? This year has been just plain crazy. It was one crippling event after another, and I thought I had the skills and knowledge to not turn to food for comfort.

But I didn’t, folks. It’s taken me a few months to get up the nerve and come back here and admit that. I knew all the platitudes and catchphrases. I knew you’re sposed to set goals and go forth and throw out that junk! I knew what to do to get back on track. But for awhile there, I was completely lost and could not pull myself out of that hole.

Not only was I back on the loony pills again for my depression, I stopped exercising, I started hating myself again, and I got physically sick. In the past two months I’ve been totalled by severe flu three times, too weak to eat or move from bed for up to a week at a time. It scared me, as I’ve never had more than a day off work from the flu, and I’d always had enough energy to watch me some TV! But this time I just slept and slept.

Maybe it was because of the craziness with my job or the other things, I’m not sure. I think I had just worn myself out, pure and simple. My body just could not cope.

Before I got all sick and depressed, I had become a lot more social. While still heaps bigger than my friends, I felt damn good about my body and people were encouraging me to come out and have fun. So I did! But I ate too much and I certainly drank too much. Funny how you lose weight and feel like a "normal" person, you start acting like one and forget  that you’re not quite there yet.

So what happened? Did I have some sort of epiphany to get me back on track? Not really, unless you count not being able to fit into a single pair of my pants. And my sexy jeans I got back in February, remember? They were cutting me in two. As soon as I’d eat my lunch, I’d hear the quiet little ssssssshloop of the zipper unzipping itself!

I had been in serious denial that I’d done any damage. Then I noticed all my fitted tops were become quite snug again. And I was struggling up the stairs to our apartment.

I panicked. I couldn’t believe I’d let this happen. I looked at my behaviour and the steady increase of weight and decided what was missing: accountability.

I’d stopped going to Weight Watchers coz the whiny women just piss me off so much. And I’d stopped having my regular weigh/measurement sessions at the gym coz my favourite Gym Chick Cathy left. Without anyone watching over me, I sneakily started eating again, thinking noone would ever notice! Not until my bloody clothes didn’t fit.

A colleague of mine at work has joined this weight-loss organisation and was having good results. I wasn’t so much interested in the diet as in the fact you have one-on-one consultations. None of this standing-in-a-queue WW crap. And it’s not just about the scale, they take your measurements as well. So three weeks ago I signed up.

As you can see from the sidebar, I gained over 10 kilos back. So far I have lost 5 of those, and already I am back into my jeans and all of my pants and my tops are wearable again. All because I now know I have to front up to this place each week and it’s totally individual, just me and the weigh-lady, and I am totally accountable. I gotta say I like that feeling.

More importantly, I’m right back into my exercise! I even walked up a little mountain last weekend! It took an hour to get up there and it was so bloody steep I thought I’d keel over, but I kept going. I could barely walk the next day my arse was so bloody sore, but it was worth it.

Finally I am feeling positive, like I am back in control of my life. Getting my website back together is the next step of my accountability process. I don’t know if anyone is still out there or still remembers, but if you are, glad you stuck around. I am gonna get there.