The problem with holidays is not so much the holiday itself but when you’re back home and desperately clinging to that lovely Holiday Feeling.
In other words, being lazy and eating like a pork.
I spoke too soon in last Wednesday’s entry. I had the week off work so after Amsterdam all I did was write, sleep, read, watch telly and eat toast. No exercise. Not many vegetables.
On Friday I went to Edinburgh and decided to take myself out to lunch. I’ve never done that before and it seemed like a glamourous sort of thing to do. I paced around peering into cafes looking for the perfect spot, but in the end I just went for a gigantic Hawaiian beef burger and a chocolate thickshake from Wannaburger, because I’ve been there a million times and knew it would be good. I only ate two-thirds of the burger, which astounded me coz normally I would cram in that beefy bacony pineapplely cheesy goodness until my jeans exploded. Way to go, listening to my stomach!
Then on Saturday night Dr G and I drove out to Anstruther and ate fish and chips by the sea. It was dark and rainy. Ahh, the dying dregs of a Scottish summer.
They had a sign in the window, "Did you know that our fish and chips have less fat and calories than a Whopper Meal from Burger King?"
Now how’s that for a marketing angle? Fish and Chips – Not Quite As Bad For You As Fast Food!
. . .
So I wouldn’t say I’ve completely gone off the rails, I’ve just had a slight… diversion. But I’m feeling mega-blobby and need to refocus, dammit. I desperately want to blast off these last ten pounds. This won’t happen while parked on the couch!
I went to the Girl Gym last night. For the first time since my induction, a month ago. Fark! I had been doing Cathe DVDs at home now and then, but the overall theme has been: Slackarsedness.
So I got on the bike then did upper body weights. It was so strange to do exercise with mirrors! Normally I’m at home performing for the bed, wardrobe and pot plants. We don’t have a full-length in our flat and there wasn’t any at my old gym. I actually did a cartoon double-take while using the tricep press-down machine thingy coz I didn’t recognise my own butt and hips. They were a lot smaller than I thought. My stomach has shrunk too! But another five kilos or so and it would be much less pokey-outy! All the more incentive to get movin’.
(Incidentally, I barely recognised my posture either! It really has improved. Finally. No more rounded shoulders! The physio would be proud.)
The Girl Gym is bloody hilarious and surreal. Every other gym I’ve seen on a Monday night was heaving with sweaty bodies, everyone flushed with early-week resolve… but last night I didn’t see a single pink cheek. I was the only one in the room not reading a magazine, no exaggeration. The other ladies seemed to be in a very leisurely mood. There was even a woman reading while using the leg press machine! I’d never seen someone read while doing weights before. She got so absorbed in Hello magazine that she didn’t even pretend to do the exercise after awhile, she just sat there flipping through the pages.
Maybe it’s not always like that, but I don’t mind. There’s no fighting over machines or dumbells, in fact I only saw one pair of dumbells used in the hour I was there, those dinky wee pink plastic ones. Best of all, since noone was sweating noone needed the change rooms, so I had a leisurely shower and washed my hair. We only have a bath in our wee flat, so it so nice not to rinse out shampoo with a teacup. Happy days!
Most brilliant of all at this gym are its Scales of Delusion. They said I weighed a good five kilos lighter than I do on my home scale and every other scale I know! Methinks they are designed to trick patrons into believing that reading a six-month old copy of Cosmopoliation while cycling two miles per hour has serious health benefits, so they’ll keep coming back. So last night I stepped on and off them about seventeen times, just marvelling at seeing the dial at 75 kilos. Holy crap, I wish that was for real.
Overall I liked the Girl Gym experience. It was nice to have a special House of Exercise to go to. Having a water bottle and a locker key and a miniature bottle of shampoo all makes me feel focused. At the very least, I’ll keep going for the showers!